


Serendipity

by untilmynextstory



Category: Sons of Anarchy
Genre: Angst, Drama, F/M, Friends to Lovers, Friendship, Friendship/Love, Gangs, Loss of Parent(s), Love, Motorcycle club, Motorcycles, Nurses, One Night Stands, Outlaw, Pregnancy, Slow Burn, Unplanned Pregnancy, couples
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-04
Updated: 2016-09-07
Packaged: 2018-05-18 06:46:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 20
Words: 86,685
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5902387
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/untilmynextstory/pseuds/untilmynextstory
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>(n.) finding something good without looking for it.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Prices

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks to Charlotte Elena for "beta-ing" this chapter.

Being an outlaw came at a highly dangerous – lethal - price. Sometimes the price was your freedom or even worse it was your own death.

As an outlaw, Jackson Nathaniel Teller was prepared for a lot of unexpected and somewhat unpleasant things in his life.

He was predisposed to accept many life threatening events from melees, bullets aiming for his body, and explosions set off by a trigger designed to take you out.

All of what those things had in common were that they provided addicting intravenous drops of adrenaline laced with fear. It made his heart pump faster against his ribcage to the point he felt it vibrate his whole body, because despite how superior he may believe he was, those moments reminded him how easily the reaper, who he wore proudly on his back and his leather, would come for him.

As an outlaw who recently turned 30, no one wouldn't believe that fear was something he would admit to having, but fear had been a constant presence in his life that refused to lay dormant and let him rest.

Watching his little brother, Thomas Wayne Teller, slowly deteriorate from the family flaw was his first brush with fear. He remembered feeling that terror of what would happen to his brother next. How would his family move on when he and his mother both had that same fatal flaw. He feared, especially for his mother, that her heart would one day take her away like it was doing to Tommy.

He didn't know how his family would move on. He watched his mom try to remain strong for her him.

His dad drifted away as his brother did just not from the same disease, but even though Jax wasn't as perceptive as he was now. Jax watched his father distance himself from his family and his brothers. He saw his father's heart beat slowly everyday trying to overcome the loss of his youngest son.

Jax remembered that day very well where his dad's heart tried to stop beating. His dad left for a ride as he had been doing more often despite the bloody headlines captivating Charming. His dad gave him his usual kiss on the head and he walked out the door for the last time.

Jax remembered playing with his Sega with Opie when his mom got the call. He saw Gemma put a hand to her heart and his first fear crept back up on him. During those two days while his dad was fighting for his life, Jax feared he wouldn't know how to live without his father. He feared his mom would fall apart. He feared for what would happen to his father's club.

It was only three years later when fear snuck up on him again when the women he loved more than himself and almost more than his club left him. She easily walked away from him like he meant nothing that all. All those promises she made him, saying she would stay and she would never leave him didn't mean anything. He didn't mean anything. He feared that he would never move on from her. He feared she would always haunt him like a ghost and his heart wouldn't know how to beat without her. He feared that he would become that love sick puppy who became weak at the heart and he didn't want that to happen again.

Jackson Teller was accustomed to fear making his body run, just as it did only days ago when he awaited the release of his best friend from Chino. For the past five years he feared his friend wouldn't walk out those doors and it would leave his wife and kids permanently without him. He feared he would lose his best friend. He dreaded that Opie would be a different man from who he was when he went inside to the man that was release.

For Jax, fear came in various ways.

He knew he had a handle on fear. He knew when to use it to his advantage. He thought it would be highly arrogant of him not to have fear in certain situations. The last thing he needed was to feel like some sort of invincible God. An absence of fear would make him stupid and borderline reckless, but maybe that was got him in this position in the first place.

Jax stared down at the somewhat timid woman before him who was peering up at him with her evergreen eyes. She had her bottom lip in-between her teeth and he knew if she kept it there any longer they would split the plump lip as his fingernails mimicked her teeth as his nails were on the brink of breaking skin as he clutched his hands in his fists.

He really wanted a fucking cigarette but when he saw her first, he became completely distracted, making him abandon why he was at the store in the first place this late at night.

He looked her over and over, her hair was long and blonde and was naturally wavy, but at this moment she had it confined in a sloppy bun. Jax hated to admit that he itched to pull the hair from its confinement imagining how smooth and silky it would be between his fingers. Her wide green eyes were surrounded with thick dark eyelashes. She was remarkably small, height wise; her head barely reached his chin. At best she probably reached the end of his neck depending on her shoes.

He had the urge to lean against his bike that was conveniently parked next to her black Jeep, but he knew he would topple over with the bike with this revelation making his heart pump faster than it ever did before.

Her name was Delilah Carmine and he had fucked her in his dorm room at the clubhouse.

The dangerous price that came with being an outlaw biker had its perks. They came in the form of money, women, and sex. But staring at Delilah he clearly saw how lethal women could be as well.

Despite the countless women that passed since that night in his dorm, Jax remembered everything. It wasn't just because of the angry red lines that decorated his back the following day, outlining his reaper tattoo that earned him taunts from his fellow brothers who were clueless to who was the creator of the marks.

Jax could admit he had been with many women before. He was sure he slept with hundreds of women and he could easily exaggerate he probably slept with half the women in Charming or the equivalent. He wasn't even trying to brag. It was a simple fact, especially since he was the Vice President of a motorcycle club. With that title, women flocked to him like fish on a baited hook.

Despite his popularity, he suspected he really wasn't on  _her_  radar until that night.

He knew Delilah before that night, or Del, as he used to call her when they were younger. She grew up in Charming just like him. She wasn't exactly a friend of the club, but her uncle who raised her was close friends with Piney and his dad. It wasn't exactly as if he would voluntary hang out with someone who was six years younger than him, but he knew her.

He knew that her dad was reportedly missing and presumably dead, as the body or his whereabouts were never found. Afterwards her mom was so crestfallen with grief that she turned to drugs that were so readily available in her line of work at Cara Cara and St. Thomas. That was when her uncle Donovan stepped in to raise her, but it wasn't as if he was an ideal guardian himself, he had a problem with the bottle, but he was a self-proclaimed "functioning alcoholic."

He knew Delilah was a shy and quiet girl and kept to herself, but she excelled at school and sports, and that drew attention from boys all around. He could still remember Donovan, who actually owned the local boxing gym, claiming he had to clean his shotguns and cool it on the drinks because he didn't want any slow reflexes when it came to scare away all the boys.

Jax didn't say anything at the time to not feel like a Chester or a cradle robber, but Delilah was a beautiful woman. In his opinion, the small school girl who wore barrettes and briefly had braces transformed into a fucking vixen. He could say that the few times she had to come pick up her uncle from the clubhouse after too many shots of tequila with Piney he admired her ass and toned legs. Although he quickly berated himself for even entertaining those thoughts.

He knew she got a full ride at the University of California in San Diego for Business Management. She was gone from Charming for six years, but three months ago she came back after finishing her Master's. Although it was no secret that she came back because her Uncle's drinking was finally catching up to his liver. Gemma told him that she had plenty of job offers from various companies in San Diego and even Oregon, but declined to come back to Charming as it was always her original plan. Her plan to own her own business.

So on that night he was surprised to see her at the clubhouse trying to fend off unwanted attention. Maybe he had a thing for damsels in distress, but he couldn't help himself in using his hierarchy and telling the hang-around to get lost.

He remembered how flushed her skin got as she thanked him. She was there because apparently her old acquaintance from high school had begun to hang out with a patched member of the club and dragged her along to the party. Jax honestly had no real intention in bedding Donovan Carmine's niece, but Jax felt the bold influence of alcohol control his actions. It wasn't as if she immediately let him lead her back to his dorm; it took him half the night for her to get some courage after he whispered sweet nothings in her ear, causing her skin to tint pink.

Thinking about how easy it was to get her to flush connected with the image of her legs wrapped around him tightly as he slammed into her warmth. She made his body tremor from head to toe. It was almost as if he couldn't get enough. It wasn't just a quick hit it and quit it, he realized as he basked in the afterglow while his fingers traced her body causing his body to itch to be inside her again.

It was almost as if he felt a craving that could leave him wanting more, but he didn't want to give into those thoughts. He wasn't looking for an Old Lady, especially after the disaster of his last one, and if it was one thing Jax could be sure of was he would never become a goddamn junkie.

Jax tore his head away from her and tried to focus on the changing streetlight in the distance, but it led him back to the neon sign of the store and back to the woman that the sign seemed to be highlighting, watching his every move – his every reaction.

If you weren't familiar with her body you would miss that tightness of her white t-shirt in her lower abdomen. His keen sense of observation - memory - mocked him. He was still trying to wrap his mind around the situation as his rings scratched his face as his wiped his face trying to overcome the shock.

She was pregnant with his child.

Jackson Teller was going to be a father.

He traded in a wife for a baby.

Now he knew why in a small town like Charming that he hadn't seen Delilah at all. The last time he saw her had to be a month and a half ago at TM when she came for an oil change, but now he knew why she couldn't keep eye contact with him and it wasn't from their one night stand.

The realization hit him as if he had been hit with a bullet for the first time. It was right in his lower back, he remembered it knocking the wind out of him as if he had been punched in the gut and he gasped loudly just for the fact he had been shot. Fear of what could have happened if he wasn't wearing a vest filtered his thoughts that day. He remembered the bruises and the fear that he could have died. Before that day he feared having to pull the trigger even though it had been practically instilled in him.

Now he was gasping for air for a different reason.

Jax sucked in a deep breath and tried to wrap his head around how the fuck this happened. Logically, he knew how it happened. Jax had experienced a pregnancy scare before with only one woman. With everyone else he made sure he wrapped up. His mom practically instilled in him that she would not even tolerate him bringing home a croweater as an Old Lady, and for one to be the mother of her future grandchildren, although he could plead guilty to one of those.

Although he should be grateful he didn't impregnate a croweater.

His mind didn't even want to try and figure out how he would tell this to his mother or even the club.

Jax took another shaky breath and finally spoke up, "Is it mine?" He winced immediately after asking the ridiculous cliché question because he already knew the answer. If it wasn't, she wouldn't be acting the way she was. He also knew she hadn't been seeing anyone after asking around after that fateful night.

Jax looked back into her eyes that seemed to be flooding with unshed tears and for a minute he wanted to ask what she was crying for, but he knew this thought was from the blaze of anger that cruised through him as she nodded her head and replied with a shaky, "I'm sorry."

Jax felt like his knees were about to buckle. They were trembling from a combination of emotions. He knew this wasn't the worst news he ever received, and it wasn't as if the gun warehouse was torched from a rival gang or something.

This was something he brought on himself and he was surprised something like this hadn't happened to him sooner, although from how this was going to go Delilah seemed to have no intention of informing him. God forbid there could be another Teller running around in the world.

Jax then felt another indescribable emotion from the thought that Delilah wasn't going to tell him. He wanted to be angry, but then he realized who he was. He was an outlaw and she was a respectable nurse who just graduated, and now whatever life plans she may of had were going to be put on hold because of this. On top of that her baby's father was an outlaw biker. There was nothing more to be said. He knew he could list all the negative feelings she probably had.

"Jax, listen," he heard Delilah begin as she tried to break through his fog of shock, "If you don't want the baby-"

Jax looked up at her instantly and interrupted, "What?"

She looked at him and spoke very calmly as if she was talking to a child, "If you don't want to be involved, I understand. I won't hold it against you."

Jax frowned. She sounded so mature, so professional and detached, but he frowned because he was confused. He knew he wasn't 17 years old even though he might be acting like it, but the thought that he would bail on his own kid unsettled him, but he still didn't know what he wanted.

How are you supposed to react to this cliché situation of a one night stand becoming pregnant?

He knew he wasn't ready to be a father. The thought hadn't crossed his mind in over ten years. He was focused on the club. He had just filed for divorce, and he didn't want to have to be dealing with more domestic issues. He still questioned why he even married Wendy knowing she had a severe crank problem, but like his mom said he had a thing for damsels. The truth though was that he was lonely and sometimes he found himself wanting what his best friend had. Wendy was still a very questionable choice that Gemma had no problems in ripping him a new one every now and then. While he knew Wendy would have never lived up to his ideal of what or who he wanted, he wouldn't ever cop to feeling that way, waiting for some fairytale despite his best friend having that. Although it seemed it had cracked with his recent prison stint.

Jax looked back at Delilah who wasn't Donovan Carmine's niece anymore. She was now a woman. She was now the mother of his unborn child. She had just unwillingly given him a part of something he wanted deep down inside.

Jax shook his head, "No…that…that's not it." Jax looked at her in her fitted white t-shirt that gave away the slight roundness of her belly under her yoga pants. She wore no makeup, but she looked beautiful especially compared to the women he usually surrounded himself with. She looked young and fresh faced and he tainted that with his outlaw blood.

He focused back on her face. He wondered if the baby would get his blue eyes or her green. Whose nose, lips, or even eyelashes it would get.

"Do you…uh…know what it's going to be," he asked shattering the silence that had encased them in the parking lot of the convenience store.

A slow, warm smile graced Delilah's lips as she softly nodded her head and looked down at her slowly expanding belly her hands encased the bump protectively, "It's kind of too early to tell, but I have a feeling it's going to be a boy, a baby boy."


	2. Growing

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for Charlotte Elena over at Fanfiction.net for being my beta.

Delilah woke up feeling slightly lighter than she had for the past few weeks. She highly suspected it had something to do with the baby that was currently growing in her stomach and who the father was.

Charming was a small town and gossip traveled fast especially since she just graduated from college, and her arrival time seemed to coincide with this pleasant surprise. She hadn't officially announced her pregnancy because for the most part there wasn't really anyone for her to announce it too, but when you worked at a porn studio and could only go to one hospital in Charming that could provide her pre-natal care it seemed the news voyaged fast.

Plus, it didn't help she had remained tight lipped on who the father was. She didn't care really what other people were saying about her that she must have had a sordid affair with a teacher or a CEO down in San Diego or how it was "always the quiet ones." The only opinion that matter to her was of her Uncle's.

When she told him the news, as expected, he wasn't thrilled and even more so when she wouldn't tell him who was responsible for getting his niece knocked up. But he had to accept it after she told him she was going to keep it.

She had the means to take care of her child and with how important family was to her she didn't want to think about getting rid of it. She highly contemplated telling Jax Teller in the first place, she knew he had a right to know, but for some reason she didn't want to tell him.

Jax Teller lived a whole different life than most.

She knew about the Sons, especially since her Uncle was best friend's with one, but there was a reason her Uncle never joined that brotherhood. The Sons lived by a different set of rules – a different set of morality that clashed with half of the town. She didn't want to put any judgement on them because they had helped keep a watchful eye on her Uncle while she was at school, but as a female she didn't get how Gemma, mostly, could handle the all the women, the threat of jail, or the threat of death.

Plus, it wasn't like she got pregnant by any Son. She got pregnant by  _the_  Son.

Delilah sort of regretted letting her friend Rosie in convincing her to go to one of the club's party. She already knew what some of them were like when she had to pick up her plastered Uncle sometimes and she wasn't impressed with the debauchery. She didn't understand why Rosie would want to get involved with that Life or want to be known as a croweater.

Delilah wasn't too fond of the idea of sleeping through a group of men just to say you did. Delilah didn't want to tell her friend that she was just a nameless face in a sea of women that just got lucky in being a conquest. From Delilah's understanding most women who were croweaters didn't make it to the Old Lady phase except Rosie had quickly informed her the times were changing since Wendy Case became the official rags to riches story in bagging the Vice President of the mother charter. Although she didn't really know how it was a rags to riches story to marry someone who still slept around. Her Uncle made an offhand comment that Wendy loved crank more than Jax and Jax didn't seem all that into the wedding. The reception was a wonderful party although her Uncle's comments were biased, as he was probably too drunk to remember anything during the reception.

Delilah however never really concerned herself with the club and she was one of the few people that didn't carry the hope of bedding Jax Teller. Delilah would like to think it was because of their age difference that played a role in that. Yes, she would and could admit that Jackson Teller was a handsome looking man and he knew that as well, but she didn't drool over him like most. She liked to contribute that to the fact she was always buried nose deep into a book. Although by the time she was noticing boys, she still didn't really ever form a crush on him. He was appealing and had admirable qualities, but she didn't delude herself in thinking there could ever be something when she was six and he was twelve.

She could admit that she did admire his relationship he had with Tara Knowles despite her occasionally witnessing some heated arguments with the two when her Uncle still believed she needed a babysitter and would toss her to have Luann and Gemma watch her and sometimes she was then placed under the lenient eyes of Jax or Opie with Tara or Donna occasionally making an appearance.

When Tara left for school, she felt bad for Jax because even though she didn't know romantic love. She knew what it felt like for a person you loved whole heartedly to make that choice to walk out and leave.

After that though, Jax became the official panty dropper of Charming. The whole town witnessed the ever revolving door of women that keep Jax company and Delilah wasn't too sure if that was even healthy for any of them, but by then Delilah had become more actively involved in sports and she didn't really waste time pondering Jax's sleeping habits.

So she still had trouble reconciling on why she even let Jax lead her back to his dorm where various women of questionable appearances had been before. Delilah would have liked to blame it on the alcohol, but she couldn't. She was all too aware of what happened that night.

She was aware of every word that was slithering out of Jax's silver tongue. She was aware of his subtle touches and their close proximity.

She also didn't know how to comprehend that Jax would even think of her in any way besides that she was Donovan's niece.

Delilah would have liked to have some reason why she let things go the way they did especially since she knew it was most likely going to be a one night stand. Why would she even bother to be used in that type of way? Jax could have had any other girls that were there and more experienced especially Rosie who was dying to at least get a peek of his dick, but he was there focusing on her.

Delilah suspected maybe she did feel some type of power rush flow through her at the undivided attention of Jax, but then again prior to that and outside of this clubhouse it wasn't as if he ever ignored her.

Delilah could admit she wasn't the one to ever make the first move. She knew when he somehow got her to follow him back to his dorm she should have just turned around and told Rosie she was leaving, but she found herself lost in a demanding kiss as soon as the door to his room shut.

Her mind was screaming for her to stop as there was no going back. She would be reducing herself to a notch on his belt, but when he found his place in between her thighs she was lost in mini tirade of sacrificing a bit of her self-worth.

Now was a different story. She hated she had become part of some cliché scenario. She swore they used condoms that night and she didn't remember one breaking although with how much vigor Jax seem to have she wouldn't even know.

With those few weeks after and the symptoms became known, Delilah was in denial. She thought her period was just late due to the stress of moving back to Charming, but she was wrong. She delayed finding out the truth for the longest time to the point she didn't even waste buying a pregnancy test knowing that if someone saw her it would mostly likely be on front page of the newspaper.

It wasn't as if Delilah was always a target for gossip, but with what happened to her parents, especially her mother, there were always whispers of something. In addition to that, she lived with an Uncle who was the town's drunk and was friends with the local outlaw motorcycle club. She knew people expected her to take the same route as her mother or the route of becoming tangled up in that biker world although it seemed in a sense both of them has come to fruition.

Not wanting to live with the denial or taking any more of her Uncle's jab about how she was acting, she made an appointment at St. Thomas. An appointment to know what was plaguing her stomach of its knots, and on that same appointment she found herself lying back on that exam table with gel over her stomach to look at her baby that was growing in her stomach.

Delilah immediately knew who the father was and she didn't know how to break it to Jackson Teller that he was going to be a father. She decided to give herself a week or so to adjust to the news herself, but then that week quickly turned to two and she forced herself to go to Teller Morrow for a bogus oil change and she was honestly going to tell him, but she chickened out and avoided making any eye contact with him as they really hadn't seen each other since that night. She honestly wasn't avoiding him up to that point she was just getting settled back into being at home with her Uncle here in Charming.

But it was seemingly fate as she had a late night craving for some Sour Cream and Cheese chips that lead her to come face to face with her baby's father at a convenience store. She knew it didn't help that once he zoned in on her swollen belly and back to her face she immediately left the store even forgetting the junk food she went there for and as expected he immediately followed her out calling out her name.

It was almost to comical to her that when she went to her jeep that his bike was parked directly next to her, it was as if life was forcing her to have this conversation even though she knew once she got bigger and once her Uncle craved a drink with Piney that her pregnancy would hit the club and Jax would be knocking on her door.

She knew by the look on her face he knew and they found themselves in silence while he processed the surprise. She knew he felt some type of anger as he clenched his jaw and fist, but she also saw a spike of fear shoot through him when he would look down at her stomach that was slightly straining her shirt.

She guessed she could say she was glad he didn't outright reject her or really the baby, but she knew he was going to have a hard time adjusting to this.

She barely had adjusted to this revelation in her life. Despite being an adult she wasn't prepared for a baby. She still had some goals she wanted to achieve before opening the possibility of having a child or even have a family for that matter. Being a mother was never on her mind until she accomplished her goals. Since high school she had been career orientated and now she was having a baby by a man she barely knew now.

At least she had some comfort that Jax seemed to what to have some responsibility for his child.

Delilah placed a hand on her growing belly and smiled. Outside of the slight setbacks for her goals career wise, she was happy she was actually having a boy. When she was young, she always envisioned having her own children. It was her dream to raise a child like her mother hadn't. She wanted to give her child the love her mother didn't. She wanted it to be a boy as she wanted her Uncle to be the "grandfather" to teach her son boxing and have playdates with. With having a boy, she knew it had a high chance of looking exactly like Jax, but she still preferred having a boy over a girl, although she had to keep the lingering thoughts out about the predestined path that may be awaiting her son.

Delilah rubbed her growing stomach before she grabbed the packet for the Lamaze classes that she was interested in going to at first she wasn't as she personally didn't deem it to be necessary for her, but after last night with running into Jax she thought maybe it would be beneficial to him. After all this was not only hers, but his firstborn child and she knew he had no experience with children probably besides Opie's kids Kenny and Ellie. So she grabbed the discarded pamphlets Dr. Roden gave her to take a look at. The classes wouldn't start until she was at least at the end of her second trimester and the beginning of her third so she hoped that would work with Jax's schedule and that he would actually want to attend.

Delilah was reading over the general information of the classes when she slightly jumped in her seat at the gruff voice of her Uncle.

"Good morning,  _sweetheart_."

Delilah closed the pamphlet and turned to look at her Uncle who was decked in his plaid robe that went down to his ankles, "Good morning, I made coffee for you."

Her Uncle gave her a sniff nod of the head as he searched through the cabinets for a coffee mug.

Delilah observed her Uncle as he went about his daily morning routine.

Despite his age and the obvious overabundant use of alcohol her Uncle was a very handsome looking man. Her Uncle was 6'0'' with brown hair that was becoming overtaken by grey hairs. Since he owned the local gym, he had a sinewy physique that somewhat seemed to combat his high tolerance of beer. Her Uncle had the same apple green eyes that she had and her mother, his sister, had.

Delilah watched as her Uncle dipped his hand into the pocket of his robe for the small flask to pour some liquor into his coffee. Sadly, Delilah had never known her Uncle without the association of that flask.

She didn't really know what made her Uncle hide behind his demons through liquid, but she suspected it had to do with the Vietnam War he served in only to come home to find the love of your life couldn't accept the man that came back with more than he left with and that ended tragically as when she packed up and left a drunk driver crashed into her car killing her. She found it ironic and really depressing her Uncle was slowly killing himself with the poison that killed his true love.

She never asked her Uncle about that, but she heard that story from Piney who finally told her after her pleading and begging because it seemed sadness ran in her family.

She still remembered when she was six years old how her mother wailed for her father when they got the news of her father's presumed death – he just went missing. She watched her mom slowly shut down and couldn't bear the thought without her husband even though she had a daughter to live for and then it became too much as she tried to join her husband, but failed.

Delilah swore she would never fall in love the way her parents did, or even her Uncle.

Although despite the grim circumstances that led her to move in with her Uncle she loved living with him. Despite his addiction, he made sure she always had everything she needed and he made sure to attend every one of her school events.

And now since she revealed to him that she was pregnant his drinking had lessen a little because she knew he upped his status quo to deal with the loneliness of the house despite him starting to stay back at his gym when she was gone.

Donavan took a seat at the cherry wood kitchen table with his steaming cup of coffee and glanced at the pamphlet on the table, "Don't you need a partner for those classes?" He asked before taking a sip of his coffee the burn not even bothering him.

"Ideally," Delilah replied as she looked at her Uncle their green eyes clashing, she already knew what was coming next.

"So I take it baby daddy is taking responsibility?" Her Uncle asked as he took a bite of the powder donuts she had on the table waiting for him.

When she decided to not disclose who the father was to say her Uncle was pissed would be an understatement. He was more so livid as he demanded to know who knocked up his precious niece and to him wasn't taking responsibility despite her claiming that she hadn't even told the father yet although he quickly pointed out that there was a reason she wasn't giving up the name.

Delilah was honestly slightly worried for Jax when her Uncle would find out. Despite her Uncle being hungover most days no one underestimated the power behind a drunken punch.

"I am letting him digest the news, but it seems like he wants to be involved."

"You're what fourteen weeks and you found out a month ago…don't tell me now you just told him."

"It's not the simple, Uncle."

Donovan scoffed at her. "Whatever you say, sweetheart," he muttered as he got up from the kitchen table and headed into the living room to watch TV.

* * *

If Delilah can admit anything to herself, she will admit the last place she thought she would ever work at would be a porn studio. Delilah doesn't really like to think of herself as a prude or someone who is judgmental, but even from the business end of the studio, she finds herself constantly at wits end with most of the porn stars.

However, she keeps her lips shut as she is grateful for Luann even offering her the job with nice and amazing benefits.

Delilah just knows that she needs to just develop thicker skin around the girls. She knows any sign of weakness the girls will leech on. It was already bad enough that with pregnancy further progressing, the girls were already talking making claims she was like her mother.

Delilah is deep in reading over the numbers from their latest release and how to improve Cara Cara, mostly through online subscriptions, when a knock comes from her office door.

Bringing her head up, she finds one of the girls, Lyla, on the other side. Delilah beckons her in. Out of all the girls, Delilah finds Lyla the kindest and most down to Earth unlike her costar, Ima.

"Hey, I was just wondering how you were feeling?" Lyla asks.

Delilah looks down at her small bump and instinctively puts a hand on it. "I'm always hungry."

Both girls laugh. "It's one thing I don't miss is the hunger cravings. Piper had me craving weird shit." Lyla informs her. This is another reason Delilah thinks the two of them get along is the bond of motherhood.

Delilah knows that Lyla is just trying to support her kid as a single mom.

"I don't think I have the weird cravings yet although my uncle might disagree." Delilah informs her.

"Well since it's a wrap on set, some of the girls and I were wondering if you wanted to join us for dinner." Delilah is about to decline, but Lyla adds. "Ima isn't coming. Says she has  _plans_."

"Well I am craving a milkshake and pickles." Delilah laughs at Lyla's pinched face of disgust. "I'm kidding. I want the pickles on a meatball sub."

* * *

Delilah had just sat down on the leather couch to remove her shoes and she was thankful that maternity clothes were elastic as besides her actual baby, she had a food baby making residence as well. She was debating on just taking a quick power nap on the couch as she didn't think she could move when three somewhat impatient knocks came from the front door. Delilah got up from the couch not really knowing who to honestly expect as she didn't have that many friends in Charming besides Rosie and her Uncle just left the house to go hang out with Piney.

Delilah walked to the front door and peaked through the windows that were at each side of the door and saw a flash of blonde hair and leather.

She knew who it was.

It had been two days since they encountered each other at the store and she practically told him he should have a few days to himself before committing to their baby. She could admit she was slightly hurt that he agreed he had to think about it, but he was in such stupor she could have told him anything probably.

Delilah unlocked the door, which caused Jax to turn around to face her. Delilah pushed back some of her discarded hair from her ponytail as she looked at her baby's father and she wrapped her arms around herself protectively, "Is everything…uh…okay?"

"Yeah, I just thought we should talk," Jax told her after fixing his baseball cap as he looked behind him for mostly likely any curious eyes.

Delilah glanced back at the clock and she realized that it was going on 8 o'clock at night. She didn't realize that she spent that long with some of the girls. Despite being tired, she nods her head and lets him in.

Jax entered the home and his eyes scanned the house before he looked back at her and his eyes quickly glanced at her stomach before looking back up at her face, "Do you always work this late?"

Delilah shook her head. "I usually try to leave the studio by 4 or 5."

"Then where were you?"

Delilah furrowed her brows at his question. Delilah looked back outside and didn't spot his bike, "Were you staking out the house?"

"That's beside the point," Jax interceded, "Where were you?"

Delilah quirked an eyebrow at his demanding question and bit down smart response he was going to get, as the last thing she wanted to deal with was a cranky biker. "I went out to eat."

"With who?" He demanded to know and the Delilah became aware of a persistent buzzing coming from his pocket. She watched as he checked it, but ignored the call.

Delilah pinched her eyebrows together and decided she wasn't going to entertain this conversation any longer. "Jax, I, uh, don't think you came over here to ask where and with who I went to dinner with. So did you decide what you are doing?" Delilah asked.

Jax looked at her, and seemed to be contemplating on her obvious dismissal of question. Instead he nodded his head and he took a seat next to her on the couch. She knew he was itching for a cigarette as his hands kept fumbling with his Zippo lighter. "Yeah, I want to be involved in my kid's life. It's just I never really thought about having a kid now."

"Well it looks like we have something in common," Delilah commented giving him a small smile.

"It's just right now can we keep this quiet?" He told her as his phone went off again.

Delilah frowned both at the question and how he kept ignoring the call. "For how long? Because eventually I am going to start showing more and I would hope you would want to be there for the delivery, if you want to be."

Jax exhaled a deep breath and removed the Reaper cap that adorned his head, "Of course I want to be there. It's just I need to find some way to break it to my mother and the club." Jax turned to her with a rueful smile on his face. "Also I am afraid what your uncle is going to do to me."

Delilah let out a snort, but nodded her head and sort of understood where Jax was coming from because she completely forgot about Gemma Teller-Morrow.

Everyone around town knew Gemma and how she was basically the biker queen who was extremely fierce and protective over the club and overwhelming protective when it came to her son.

"Okay, I guess, just at least up until the next appointment." Delilah compromised.

"When is your next appointment?"

"Not until next month. Oh! Speaking of appointments I have something to give you." Delilah said getting up from the couch, "I'll be right back."

Jax watched as Delilah walked back down her hallway to her room and he leaned back against the couch. He still couldn't wrap his head around that Delilah was pregnant with his child. He was telling the truth about needing time on how to breach this particular topic to his mother. There were just too many variables from getting Delilah pregnant now especially since she was considered sort of an outsider to their life.

He still didn't want to even contemplate when the news would hit Donovan.

Ever since that Saturday night, babies have reluctantly been on his mind and he wasn't sure what to do.

He knew his whole life was about to change and that was what scared him the most.

Jax's attention snapped back up to Delilah who walked back into the living room with some papers in her hands.

"This is the date of the appointment and this is the sonogram photo."

Jax accepted the papers and he quickly took time to observe the photo of his unborn son, well according to Delilah. He knew his hand was slightly shaking. He could see his son's head distinctly in the photo along with is small arms. "He is so small. Why do you think it's a boy?"

Delilah leaned closer into him and she looked at the sonogram. "I just have this feeling. I mean if the baby is a girl, I won't mind though."

Jax brought up the photo and shook his head. "Nah, it's going to be a boy."

"So I was wondering if you would attend Lamaze classes with me."

Jax wrinkled his nose and looked at Delilah, "What the hell is Lamaze?"

"Birthing classes, I think they will be more beneficial for you than me."

"Alright, just um…give me the dates." Jax went to say something else when Delilah let out a loud yawn, "You tired?"

"Yeah, just ate a lot at dinner."

"Huh, you went out by yourself?" Jax questioned.

"Oh my god," Delilah groaned at his persistence. "I went out to dinner with some of the girls. Are you happy now?"

"I didn't know you were…friends with them."

Delilah narrowed her eyes at him at his tone. "I'm not…really. I only really talk to one of them, but that's beside the point."

"Do you like working there?"

"We're not having this conversation, Jax. It's a job that I will need to support myself and this baby."

Jax perked his ears up, "You don't need to pay for anything I can cover the co-"

"Jax –" Delilah sighs. She forgot most of the bikers still carried a somewhat sexist attitude when it came to how they handled family business.

Jax already knew she was going to decline so he interrupted, "How about we discuss this later when you are not tired."

Delilah gave him a sleepy smile as she replied, "Sure, I guess."

"Alright, but we should meet up soon to figure out how to do this." Jax grabbed a pen that was in the remote holder and scribbled his number on the page, "I think it would help if you had my number."

"Right," Delilah agreed while she relayed her number for him to put her number in his phone.

Jax got up from the couch and slipped his reaper cap back on, "I'm sorry this happened, Del."

Delilah looked up at him with questioning eyes before she smiled at him, "It's alright, Jax. I'm not."

Jax stood in front of Delilah and it seemed she already knew the question in his eyes as she placed his hands on her growing stomach.


	3. Finding

It had been over a week and Jax couldn't stop from spending hours looking at his only sonogram photo of his kid. He seemed to find something new every time. He was slowly visioning what his son, or daughter, was going to look like, and who he would take after.

Despite all the imagination about his son, Jax still felt a spike of fear shoot through him when he thought about his son's arrival and the change that would come with it.

Jax never once doubted the club or questioned the lifestyle he lived, but now he was expanding his world to fatherhood. He could admit it was mostly from his best friend's recent stint in Chino that got him thinking. If being an outlaw, or more specifically running guns, was it worth the potential missed family milestone's. Opie missed 5 years and look what he is going through.

Though the club got rid of dumbass Kyle who left Opie to get caught; a club deal could go wrong or even David Hale, Mr. Captain America, could find something to pin on them, and if they pushed him too far they would have the ATF in all of their collective rectums.

It was those thoughts that crept in when he envisioned his son's first steps or words. If he missed all of that because of something from the club he wasn't sure how to handle these new feelings that were infecting him.

Abstract feelings soon turned to Delilah. In the past week, he made sure to regularly text or call just to make sure she was alright. But he learned very quickly that Delilah wasn't one to be coddled, and she let him know he didn't need to text her 20 times a day. He even received a mini rant when he made an offhand comment about her being pregnant around a bunch of porn stars. He decided not to even breach the topic of money.

It was strange how immediately he felt protective over Delilah and their child.

Thinking about Delilah beyond the sense of his son's mother was where his most troubling thoughts began. As soon as his mother discovers this development in his life, he expects a lecture from her proclaiming him to be a dumbass for knocking up a friend of the club's only relative. Then the wheels would soon be turning on to set the two up as a couple. Typical Gemma.

Jax wasn't averse to a relationship, but he didn't think he would be ready for the relationship that would involve a kid. Besides, marriage left a bad taste in his mouth even though it could be partly blamed on the fact him and Wendy were a disaster from the start.

It was just in his world there wasn't time for anything slow and steady. If you didn't want her to be your Old Lady then there was no point in trying to begin anything.

He wasn't saying that Delilah couldn't be his Old Lady; it was just there was a baby involved and if it didn't work out that could lead to trouble. Plus he didn't even know if he wanted an Old Lady at this point.

He wanted to focus on the club. It was looking like Darby was trying to make a bigger crew for his distribution game trying to ruffle the feathers with the club, and it didn't help that the beef with the Mayans seemed to be slowly escalating. The last thing they need was another goddamn war.

He wanted Delilah separated from that. He knew other crews didn't usually go for Old Lady's. It was an unwritten rule that no one ever went after women or children, but he knew Donovan wouldn't want her to know what exactly it meant to be involved with SAMCRO.

Donovan Carmine. Jax could admit he was kind of worried how the drunk was going to take this news. He had immense respect for Donovan as he was a friend of the club, but he didn't know how he was going to look this man in the eye knowing he knocked up his niece from a one night stand.

Jax looked back to the spot on his dorm bed where Delilah occupied months ago. Now he was constantly analyzing that night. Jax could admit that he had some attraction to Delilah because if he didn't he wouldn't have sought her out in the first place.

In the grand scheme of things, Delilah could be what he needed. She was smart and reserved. She was highly independent. She was never one to follow the crowd. He knew she would not be afraid to challenge him. There were a lot of pros in wanting to pursue the relationship, but he knew it could be because of the baby they were having.

Jax got up and placed the sonogram in his wallet and decided to visit the one person who could provide some perspective on this whole situation.

* * *

 

Jax took a seat on his best friend's couch with a beer in his hand. Opie and Jax had been best friends since in utero. Opie was the only one Jax trusted with anything. He knew his best friend would be the one to call him out on any of his bullshit. Opie never lied to him, and he always spoke the truth even if Jax knew he wasn't going to like it.

Since Opie's stint at Chino, Jax found his friend slipping away from him. Opie was leaning right these days and even had gotten a legitimate legal job chucking wood for Oswald's logging company.

Yet, with the visage of trying to be a reformed outlaw, it was clear to see the stress of Opie being other than that as it was ingrained in him since childhood being an outlaw was all there was. The message hit home even more as the income wasn't the same as it became an open secret of the money troubles that plagued them since Opie's incarceration.

Jax had tried to help Donna not only as duty from Opie being his brother in the club, but because he was his best friend and Opie was his family, club or not. But Donna was too proud to accept the help and she didn't seem interested in taking help from the affiliations that got her husband locked up in the first place.

Despite her reservations in accepting help, Jax would still leave a little cash here and there or made sure Piney at least passed the aide to his daughter-in-law.

Taking a long drag of his beer, he observed the defeated look in his friend. Seeing Donna's absence, he knew she must have been working an extra shift at her job as a housekeeper in the local nursing home. Jax knew that Opie didn't appreciate he couldn't provide for his family. Hell, Jax knew he would feel the same way. He suspected it had something to do with the way they were raised believing it was unacceptable to live off their Old Ladies, but Jax knew it was more than that which plagued his friend.

Opie had been with Donna since high school, sophomore year to be exact. They were the ideal high school sweethearts. In retrospect, it seemed love hit both of them at the same time as he found Tara around the same time Opie found Donna.

Unlike Tara, Donna seemed to have accepted who Opie was and what the club meant to him. Jax could admit he was extremely envious his brother found someone that could accept him and the club, but that set of mind Donna seemed to have shattered when Opie got locked up for five years. Leaving a woman alone with two babies would be sure to taint the woman in anger and hate for the club that put her husband and the father of her children in jail.

This was the true test of their relationship, Jax knew it didn't help that Opie and Donna seemed to not have full disclosure. Of course, it wasn't his business if Opie told Donna anything.

Loving Donna and trying to do right by his family, who struggled in his absence, conflicted with his love for his club. This battle was imbedded deep into the Winston foundation as a family as it splintered the infrastructure as his kids didn't know how to act around their father either.

"So I know you didn't come here to just drink beer. What's plaguing your mind, brother?" Opie asked Jax as he inhaled his beer.

Setting the empty bottle on the table, Jax looked at the empty bottle as if it held the solutions to his worries. Running his hands ran through his hair free of his reaper cap. "I fucked up." Jax admitted as he looked his best friend in the eye. Opie looked at him with an expression that told him to elaborate. "I'm having a kid."

Jax watched as his stoic friend gave him a wide-eyed as he tried to swallow his beer, but had to stop the beer from escaping his mouth from shock as some of it leaked out his mouth into the coarse hairs on his chin, "You got Wendy pregnant?"

Jax shook his head and realized the blessing in disguise from not getting Wendy pregnant. He could have saved himself a lot of trouble if he would have listened to Opie in divorcing Wendy as soon as it happened when they both became aware of the fact Wendy had a problem with the needle. His thoughts drifted to Wendy, he hadn't heard from her since she her latest overdose as he demanded her to take him off as an emergency contact. What made the hospital visit even more strained was she was insistent that they could fix their marriage. She kept blabbering about promises of doing this and that. He was tired of her broken promises of getting clean and he was tired of having to try to make himself love her. The last promise he wanted from her was a vow to sign the divorce papers and to get out of his house.

"Then who did you knock up?"

"Delilah. Delilah Carmine."

Jax watched Opie's eyes widen before he released a loud boisterous laugh that vibrated his whole body, "You're fucking with me right?" Opie got his answer by the non-amused look on his face. "When the fuck did this happen?"

Jax sighed and leaned back on the white faded floral pattern couch, aging from use, as he relayed everything from the moment he saw Delilah trying to ward off the advances of the hang around until last week when he received the news that was slowly changing his world.

"Donovan's going to beat the shit out of you. You know, despite his friendly relationship with the club, he might have an issue with you crossing that line."

Jax sighed because he already knew that, but this was the consequence of him thinking with his dick and from opening the lid on his latent lust for Delilah. "I know, but there is nothing I can do now."

"So you traded a wife for a baby…when you plan on telling Gemma?"

"At least after this next appointment," Jax answered.

"She'll be what four months? You sure you want to keep your mom out the loop that long?"

It wasn't ideal for Jax, but he still needed to come to terms with how to figure out how to handle this news without his mom breathing down his neck and trying to influence how he and Delilah were going to do this.

"You think you're ready for a kid?" Opie asked the expectant father.

"Not like I have a choice, do I?" Jax countered back.

"Well if it means anything, I think your swimmers picked the right choice. I mean you could've gotten Wendy or a croweater pregnant. That's not the ideal situation for the mother charter's VP."

"Yeah, you're right," Jax agreed.

"So what do you and Delilah plan on doing, though?"

Jax furrowed his brows in bemusement, "What do you mean?"

"Besides, the obvious co-parenting, are you going to try to pursue something because you slept with her for a reason, bro."

"Nah," Jax said as he shook his head and tugged on the growing hairs of his chin, "I think we should just focus on the baby. I mean the last thing I need is an angry baby mama." Jax cringed thinking about how Bobby's relationship was with his ex-wife, Precious. Another man now was practically raising his sons.

"Well you shouldn't rule it out completely. Delilah has got a good head on her shoulders well besides the questionable decision to get pregnant by you," Opie teased.

"Fuck you, bro," Jax countered giving the single finger salute.

"I'm joking," Opie said getting up from his seat and grabbing their empty beer bottles, "but you  _shouldn't_  rule it out. Sometimes you find something good without looking for it and I think Delilah could be what you need."

Jax knew what Opie was saying in between the lines. Jax remembered all too vividly how much of an emotional mess he was when Tara left him without even the decency to give him a proper goodbye.

Tara tore him fucking apart.

He remembered the screaming match they had after he told her he refused to leave Charming – his family and his club – despite how much he loved her. He recollected watching her leave his dorm, her shoulders tense her face screwed up in anger and if he looked in her eyes there would be a pinch of hurt dilating her pupils. He recalled the echo of her slamming his door the sound similar to a gunshot and he knew she expected him to chase after her like he always did, but he didn't. He just sat in his dorm and threw meaningless items like he always did after their big, but familiar arguments.

He remembered the next day when he went to apologize. He was standing on her father's doorstep like a dog with its tail between its legs only for her deadbeat drunk of a dad to tell him she left to go to San Diego.

He thought he would at least receive a phone call, letter, or something, but he got nothing but radio silence and dust on old pictures documenting their happier times. He contemplated burning the pictures, hell in his drunken fits of rage his lighter burned the edges of a few of them, but instead he hid them in a drawer as he slowly tried to move past the pain and void she left in him.

He began his healing process by sleeping with anything that would spread their legs and make him forget her and what she did to him. After so long that became boring and he was lonely and that was how Wendy fell in the picture. The total opposite of Tara and that was a fucking wreck of a whole other proportion.

Through those years of damaging his liver and having a constantly sore dick, Opie told him that Tara was only one girl. The pain would go away or the classic  _some things weren't meant to be_. Jax quickly brushed off Opie's words of wisdom as what did he know. His high school sweetheart – the love of his life – didn't leave him like he didn't matter. Opie and Donna got their happily ever after with the two kids.

Jax was stuck in a perpetual grieving for someone that had probably forgotten about him and moved on with their life, unlike him.

Love was fucking brutal and more dangerous than a loaded gun.

Now, his friend was putting noise in his ears about Delilah and his heart skipped a beat.

* * *

 

Delilah was making a beeline to her office as she did her best to ignore the visuals in her line of vision. Despite being here for almost 4 months, seeing sex displayed so visibly along with various body parts wasn't something she liked to see on a daily basis.

She was eager to lock herself in her office and smell lavender instead of sex when her steps falter at the sight of Ima hanging by her door.

Since Delilah started Ima had been nothing but nasty to her. Delilah was unsure of what she ever did to the girl, but Delilah wrote it off as the skinny blonde to just being catty. Some girls lived for the drama.

"How can I help you Ima?" Delilah asked calmly as she ignored the loud smacking of the girls lips as she chewed her gum.

"I have my clearances and my updated paperwork." Ima tells her wiggling the papers in her vision.

Delilah unlocks her door and enters the office. "You can set them down on my desk." Delilah tells her. She expected the popular porn star to leave and get ready for set. Instead, Ima stands and admires her office.

"Is there something else you need?"

Ima gives her a once over her eyes lingering on her belly. Delilah actually feels self-conscious in the pink belted maternity dress she decided to wear. It was clearly more conservative that what was seen wore around the studio or clearly even to Ima who was wearing a micro skirt and halter top that should have been declared a strapless bra.

"You grew up around the club right?" Ima asked as she ran her manicured nails along her desk.

"I guess you can say that."

"So you're friends with Jax?"

Delilah fought the urge to roll her eyes. She already knew where this conversation was headed. She had this same meaningless conversation since people realized that she saw and spoke to Jax almost on a daily basis.

"If you're looking for Jax, you can find him at Teller-Morrow. Other than that, I can't help you Ima, with whatever you clearly want." Delilah told her as she took a seat and began booting up her computer.

Ima pursed her lips together, as she clearly didn't expect the conversation to end the way it was going. "You know I saw you there that night."

"What night, Ima?"

"You know, which night I'm talking about, where Jax played your knight in shining armor."

Delilah's body tensed slightly.

"And people say you aren't like your mother," Ima departed with as she headed out of the office.

* * *

 

Delilah made her way through the small bistro,  _Redwood_ , which was just built in Charming. It was a welcome change to  _Hanna's Diner_  although since becoming pregnant she couldn't resist Hanna's milkshakes and greasy bacon cheeseburgers.  _Redwood_ , which was such an original name for the local bistro shop, seemed to have promise from the cherry wood with a nice ocean blue that almost resembled Jax's eyes as the interior, it was nice seeing new business sprout in Charming and even though the enterprising here was controlled, this place was still a local business owner's wet dream.

Delilah finally located the brunette mop of hair that was shorter.

"So you cut your hair?" Delilah said causing the girl to slightly jump from being immersed in the menu.

"And you got pregnant." Delilah gave her friend a sheepish shrug and brought her into a hug. "I am so pissed I had to find out from croweaters."

Delilah pulled back from her friend her brows furrowed, "Croweaters?"

"Yeah, it doesn't help that you work at a studio filled with a bunch of catty women. Ima's been telling everyone that will listen to her," Her friend said slightly touching Delilah's expanding stomach. "God I thought I would get pregnant before you."

Delilah honestly doesn't know what Ima's problem is with her. "Well it seems you are the most responsible one, Rosie."

"Nah, your tubes were tired of being lonely. They got excited by the prospect of getting some action," Rosie replied causing Delilah to let out a snort.

Rosie was Delilah's only good friend in her life. Rosie was Delilah's best friend. Delilah met the brunette wild child when Rosie and her family moved to Charming when Rosie was eight after Rosie's mom left her father. They didn't become friends immediately, but somehow Rosie wiggled her way into Delilah's life. Rosie was the total opposite of her. She was outspoken, brash, and she had a reputation for her promiscuous ways. It was the complete opposite of Delilah. Most people like her uncle, still had a hard time believing two complete opposites could be best friends.

Yet, even with Rosie seemingly being a carefree spirit, Delilah could depend on her for anything and everything. Even if the wild brunette had questionable judgement like somehow getting involved in that whole croweater scene, Delilah wasn't sure how involved Rosie was in that life, but she was concerned why she would want to be passed around through those men. Although if she probably asked no doubt she would get the stereotypical answer: daddy issues.

Delilah took a seat opposite from Rosie and picked up the menu that was only one sided and her nose wrinkled at the choices, "Do you really think that this rabbit food is going to fill me up?"

"They have a ham and cheese sandwich." Rosie pointed out.

They were politely interrupted by the waitress asking what they would like to drink. Delilah went back to skimming the menu, but she could barely focus on the various, but limited food options when she felt a hole being burned in her head, "What?"

Rosie looked incredulous, "Are you really going to act like I am not pissed off by you neglecting to tell me you are indeed pregnant. The last time I checked to make a baby you need to be bumping uglies with someone of the opposite sex and you my dear Lila have been single for what six months?"

"There isn't really anything to say, Rosie. It was a pleasant surprise and now I have to take responsibility for it." Delilah replied simply.

"Delilah, who is the baby's father? Is it your ex-boyfriend from San Diego?"

"No, it's not him."

"Then who is it?" Rosie pressed not impressed by Delilah's evasiveness.

"We decided not to tell people yet not until after the next appointment."

"It's not Sebastian's, is it?"

Delilah looked wildly confused and her nose wrinkled at the mention of her high school boyfriend, "Sebastian Fields? What? No, why would you think that?"

Rosie leaned back in her chair and looked past her, "Because he is currently walking over here with a wide smile on his face and it clearly isn't aimed at me."

Delilah didn't want to turn around. She knew he still hoped they could rekindle their high school romance that was  _just_  a high school romance. He totally lost his appeal and any chance of reconciliation when he thought sleeping with literally everything and anyone after they broke up thinking it would somehow make her jealous and women made irrational choices when they were "emotional."

She felt him before she heard him call out her name. She tensed when his hands laid on top of her shoulder and she assumed it was meant to be affectionate, "Delilah Carmine, I heard you were back in town."

Delilah peered up him through her long eye lashes and give him a small smile, "Yeah, been back a few months." She had successfully been able to avoid running anywhere near him although it helped he was away at school too.

Sebastian Fields was the stereotypical good-looking American boy who had been the star quarterback in high school. He still had the short dirty blonde hair that she still didn't really know if it was brown. His eyes were a warm chocolate that for a time made her hate milk chocolate. He had a strong jawline and the chiseled body she got fairly acquainted with during the course of their relationship. Sebastian was everything you really wanted in a boyfriend: loyal, caring, loving, patient, and supportive. That was why she let him go because he deserved someone who could appreciate that fully. He deserved someone who could love him just as much as he could love. She couldn't give him that.

"I see," He responded with his charismatic smile. "How have you and your Uncle Donavan been?"

Delilah slightly glanced at Rosie who was looking amused as Sebastian took it upon himself to take a seat on their table. "I am well and so is my Uncle. How are you?"

"Still a woman of few words," Sebastian observed aloud before he answered, "But I am good. I just got my license to be a chiropractor and I actually just decided to work in conjunction with St. Thomas. I hope one day to start my own practice."

"That's really good for you, Sebastian." Delilah says neutrally.

"What about you? Planning to open your own restaurant or something?"

"Uh, no, not at the moment. I work at Cara Cara studios. It will get me some experience and money."

"Cara Cara," Sebastian said thoughtfully. "That's the adult entertainment –"

"Yeah," Delilah said.

Their conversation was momentarily interrupted when the waiter politely set down their drinks and asked for their orders and if Sebastian would be joining them. Luckily, for Delilah's sake, he wasn't.

"I take that as my que to leave, ladies." Sebastian looked at her with a hopeful smile as he stood behind his vacant chair, "Would it be okay to ask for a hug?"

Delilah nodded her head and as soon as she got up she was reminded of her current situation as he spoked in a shock hushed tone, "You're pregnant."

Delilah looked down at her stomach and instinctively put a hand over it, "Yeah a little over three months."

Delilah saw a brief hint of hurt flash across his eyes before he brought her in a hug and whispered congratulations before he walked away.

Delilah sat back down in her seat when Rosie spoke up, "He still has it bad for you."

"Well I don't know why," Delilah muttered.

"It's okay to love people, Del."

Delilah didn't reply as she took a sip of her tea because she didn't have it in her to dispute her friend's statement. She didn't understand how Rosie could want to love when she saw how her father showed her mother love by breaking the dining room table, and instead of kisses he used his fists. Delilah knew love was lethal when she saw her mom wither away after her father's presumed death.

She saw how addictive love could be. Rosie was always looking for the high and constantly relapsing and her mom overdosed leaving Delilah with the symptoms.

If Delilah knew one thing, she wasn't an addict. However, she couldn't deny the love she already felt for her child.

* * *

 

Delilah pulled into the driveway of her Uncle's home extremely exhausted physically and emotionally. After dealing with Ima and Sebastian, she wanted to take a nice warm bath and then hide under the covers. Seeing Sebastian drained her a little emotionally. It wasn't that seeing him was like an "I lost my breath" moment, but she recognized that adorning look in his eyes.

She never understood why he always thought there was some unfinished business between them since she since was the one that ended. But despite her conceptions on love she was not even ready for the commitment he wanted like getting married right out of high school. It was too similar to her parent's tragic fate.

Delilah was so lost in her emotionally charged thoughts her heart nearly exploded when a tap came from outside her window and she came face to face with steely blue eyes looking at her in concerned. Delilah unbuckled herself from her seat and Jax opened her car door and peered down at her confused, "You okay?"

Delilah grabbed her purse and got out of the car with Jax closing the door as he leaned against analyzing her. She nodded her head as she replied, "Yeah, just a long day at work."

"Yeah, I imagined long and hard," Jax quipped.

Delilah rolled her eyes. She didn't understand why Jax was so concerned about her working at Cara Cara. She wasn't the type of woman to live off a man and especially a man she wasn't even dating or married too. She also felt the urge to question him on any history she should know involving him and Ima, but she decided she did not want to know. Plus, with her current mood, she wasn't particular fond of starting another debate that she is just pregnant not on bedrest. "What are you even doing here?" She asked switching the topic.

Jax tilted her head towards her neighbors' home, "Visiting Opie, I was on my way to leave when I saw you pull up."

Delilah looked passed Jax's blonde locks to the Winston home behind him. She knew the family was currently struggling to adjust to Opie's recent return home besides the financial factor. She knew when she was gone her Uncle watched the two Winston kids to help Donna take more shifts as she refused to receive outside help especially from the club.

"How are they doing? I only see them occasionally." She usually saw Donna leaving for work in the morning or with the kids coming back from somewhere and she rarely saw Opie.

Jax moved off her Jeep and stuffed his hands in his pockets as he met her eyes, "Still adjusting, but they'll get through." He told her his voice low and hinting at more than Opie's family situation.

Delilah found herself lost in his gaze as they stared intensely at her and she remembered his gaze being similar to this one on that night. Delilah quickly looked away breaking the contact to prevent her body from becoming flushed as she took in the underlying meaning to his words and she gave him a warm smile. "Well I think I will have to invite them over for dinner to catch up."

"Am I invited?" Jax asked cheekily.

"Sure, I am sure the kids will love to see their Uncle Jax also," Delilah drawled. At the mention of the word Uncle, Delilah saw Jax grimace and she looked at him questionably. "What?"

She watched Jax swallow before he spoke and his hands went to his head and quickly flipped his Reaper cap so the visor was in the back. "Your Uncle is probably going to kill me."

Delilah let out a little laugh and she didn't miss the pointed look Jax gave her, "He won't kill you Jax, maybe beat you into a bloody pulp, but kill you? No."

"Yeah, that's real comforting darlin'," Jax replied sarcastically.

"Don't worry, I'll protect ya." She told him cheekily.

"Look at that, a mama bear already," Jax teased. "How is the little guy?" He asked and he felt the itch to touch her growing stomach as it was the only thing that made what was happening real.

Delilah looked down at her stomach and her hands ghosted over the small, but growing bump, "He's good." She told him with a smile.

"That's good. So I was thinking maybe we could get together for lunch or something maybe a little outside of Charming before we really announce the news."

Delilah looked up at her baby's father with a smile, "Sure, I would like that."


	4. Viewpoints

Jax in the newly opened bistro called  _Redwood_  was sitting across from Delilah as she devoured another bowl of potato soup. After talking to Delilah, in her driveway, Jax had suggested they should keep in contact at least once a week to discuss the baby or to get to know each other as adults. Delilah, surprisingly, jumped onto the idea and agreed they could take their lunch break together if their schedules permitted. Delilah was the one who decided to meet at this place that was actually under the club's watch to ensure its stay in the neighborhood. He knew that word wouldn't travel too fast about his and Delilah's lunch and hopefully future lunches. The little bistro was further out from Main Street as opposed to meeting somewhere like Hanna's Diner which would not have been a good idea until they announced to his mom and club about the new generation of SAMCRO keeping residence in her belly.

This was their fifth lunch together. Honestly, Jax looked forward to this hour away from the club and his mother as he enjoyed being in Delilah's company despite the ending when she insisted on trying to pay for her lunch even when she knew she was going to lose the battle.

In these gatherings he had learned a lot about Delilah that he wasn't aware of before. He learned that she actually wanted to open her own bookstore with a café. She graduated in the top five percent in her class and in spite of all the offers she got from other businesses; she always planned to return to Charming. She couldn't deny that her Uncle did play a huge role in that decision, but Charming was her home and San Diego was fun while it lasted.

Her favorite color was teal and purple as she couldn't decide which she liked more.

Her favorite drink was Sprite or pink lemonade and she couldn't reject having a nice cold cup of Kool Aide that brought back childhood memories like when her Uncle accidently spiked a pitcher she made.

Her favorite food was Thai as she discovered it in San Diego, but sadly there weren't any restaurants in Charming for that cuisine.

Her favorite book was  _East of Eden_  and her favorite movie always changed but she loved horror movies despite them always being unsatisfying.

Although what stood out for Jax in their meetings were how as soon as she came into the restaurant she would always let her hair down no matter what. Her blonde locks cascaded down over her shoulders and reached mid-way down her back. From his previous knowledge he knew her golden hair was thick and silky and he noticed she wasn't the type of woman that always ran their hand through their hair.

Delilah barely touched her hair besides to move it out of the way so she could eat. However, if her hair became too much of a hassle she would quickly put it back up into a mini bun. In the action of putting her hair up into a messy bun he noticed how her arms were slightly toned, he could see her small muscles flex from the movement.

Remembering her small frame and every plane and valley he knew she still worked out to keep up her physique. He suspected she didn't do much weight lifting and she seemed more like a cardio girl.

He also observed how she always wore the same silver necklace that contained the letter N with a heart inscribed in it and it didn't take too long for him to deduct that the N stood for her father, Niall, and on the second chain she wore around her neck were her parent's wedding rings. She didn't wear any other jewelry besides the rotating hoops or diamond studs in her ears.

Her eyes he noticed were always shifting greens. He quickly concluded that they were his favorite thing about her. Her eyes were always so expressive, but mostly he liked how they seemed to change color with her every emotion. He really liked the deep green that reminded him of the pine trees that were decorated for Christmas. Her eyes were that forest green whenever she would spare a glance down at her growing belly and when she would glance back up at him and for a millisecond, he believed, that green would be for him before they turned to a light apple green.

And that apple green color complemented that light rosy color of her lips. Her bottom lip was fuller than her top lip, but he knew that under certain manipulations her lips would become even fuller. The light natural pink would become a nice tinted red like a blossoming rose like they were slowly becoming as she had her bottom lip trapped with her teeth as she looked down at her menu.

He noticed she did this a lot when she was deeply concentrating on something or she was uncertain of something like now because he already knew for certain what she would order which would be an Italian hoagie with mayo instead of Italian dressing with a side of fries with more mayo to dip them in. She seemed to either alternate with either having a brownie or milkshake for dessert.

Jax leaned back in his chair with his arm draped across the vacant one next to him a small smirk displaying across his face, "What are you thinking in there?"

He watched as her emerald eyes flicked towards him and she released her teeth from her lip and gently placed the menu back down on the table and she ran a self-conscious hand through her hair, "There's nothing wrong with the baby?" Jax immediately asked as he knew one issue medical wise that came up was the heart defect that ran in his family. Delilah assured him even if their baby did inherit it with how advance medicine was today they could detect it early and it was not as life-threatening as it was for his brother. However Jax could add every case was different, but he wasn't going to have Delilah worry more over their unborn child.

"No," Delilah instantly responded, "no. It's just we have been getting to know each other more this past week, but we haven't discussed… uh…Wendy." Delilah said hesitantly as her eyes darted back and forth from his blue eyes to her cup of apple juice.

Jax sighed as he knew this subject was bound to come up, "We're getting a divorce. She won't be in our lives or a problem now or in the near future."

"May I ask what happened?" She delicately asked.

Jax ran a hand down his face because he had been asking himself that question a lot more recently. Besides the fact the marriage was doomed from the start, he and Wendy were just a fucking disaster. She was just a croweater who was a great drinking partner and they had good sex, but he could get good sex anywhere these days. It was just Wendy was almost a constant figure in a sense and honestly after a while going through croweaters it lost its appeal even though being married didn't stop him from seeking their company especially when his wife seemed to be more occupied in a $40 fix than him. However, it wasn't as if he was the most emotionally available husband. Of course, Wendy had her good qualities, but he didn't necessarily bring them out of her. During the course of their ill-fated marriage instead of a husband he started to feel like an enabler or her damn sponsor and she started to sound like a broken record with her promises of staying clean. He was just reminded how any woman he let in his life always gave him broken promises.

He thought after her first rehab stint that was when he realized his marriage was a dupe. Forcing himself to try to move on was just a shitty move on his part, but he had a hero complex. He thought he could help Wendy and maybe on the way find what attracted him to her in the first place, but she was just a sad time out and he realized now his mom egged on the settling down part of that relationship.

"We should have never gotten married in the first place," Jax told Delilah truthfully.

"How long were you married for?"

Jax did the mental arithmetic in his head, "Maybe a little over two years close to three."

"Were you guys still married when…"

"No, I just filed." Jax replied knowing what she was inferring too.

"Well I am sorry that didn't work out for you," Delilah commented as she took a sip of her juice.

Jax shrugged his shoulders, "Don't be."

"Is she still going to be in Charming?"

"Nah, she got accepted to some rehab in Seattle. She should be out of my house by the end of the week, hopefully." Jax replied then he arched his eyebrow when a thought dawned on him. "What's with the questions about my ex?" Jax was pretty sure it was common knowledge what happened between him and Wendy.

"Well she is – was – a part of your life. I just…I am aware of her recreational habits and if she was still involved in your life I wouldn't allow her around our son at all and that applies to anyone." Delilah informed him as she looked him squarely in the eye.

Jax nodded his head and understood where she was coming from especially since one of the main concerns of the club was to make sure there was no dealing in Charming, but he had to play devil's advocate a little.

"I understand," Jax conceded as he took a sip of his drink and continued, "but what about your uncle and  _his_  addiction."

"He is weening a little bit, but he can't fully quit that might put him in an early grave then the actual drinking. We still have a few months to see how the drinking goes."

Jax accepted her answer and they were briefly interrupted by the waitress taking their orders and refilling his cup of pop as well as Delilah's drink as well as her appetizer of cheese sticks which she was making quick work of eating. One thing Jax had noticed, but would dare to never comment on was her increasing appetite no doubt from his growing seed. Jax took one stick off the tray and questioned, "What about you? Any significant others I need to know about?"

Jax watched as Delilah looked at him with wide eyes almost as if she didn't expect his question and she shook her head as she swallowed her food and wiped her fingers with her napkin as she verbally responded, "No with college I was too distracted with studying and I only had one serious boyfriend."

Jax blonde eyebrows rose in disbelief that she only had one boyfriend throughout her whole college years and he seriously question if the guys down in San Diego were either stupid or blind. "So you are telling me you only had one boyfriend in the six years you been gone?"

"Well I went on dates with guys, but they never went anywhere. I mean school was really time consuming with everything I dabbled in and not many guys I encountered or were interested in were very understanding sometimes."

"So what about this one guy who seemed to understand?"

He watched as Delilah grabbed another mozzarella stick and he thought briefly she seemed reluctant to answer as after she finished chewing she seemed to be avoiding looking him in his eyes and she actually put her long blonde hair in a bun and leaned back in her seat. "His name was Will. He was older than me as he was doing his internship when I met him. We dated for about three years before I ended things."

"Why did you break up?"

"We just didn't work anymore and I planned on returning to Charming and he planned to establish himself down in San Diego."

Jax listened intently to her simple explanation. It was similar to his own earth shattering break up eleven years ago, but he had a feeling she wasn't giving the whole story and he hated that it rose the hairs on the back of his necks a little – only a little. "When did you guys break up?"

"A few months before I came home," Delilah said with a heavy sigh. "I mean it was sort of inevitable really," Delilah added on.

Jax accepted her answer, but something was nagging him something wasn't settling in his gut. He didn't know if it was because of this Will and he wouldn't classify as this as jealousy because there wasn't anything to be jealous about. He had no claim over her. Maybe it was just her body language and she seemed so uncomfortable talking about him, but the words he didn't want to ask slipped off his tongue before he had a chance to stop himself. "Did you love him?"

Delilah's bottom lip found a home with her teeth again as she gave an airy laugh that was mixed with some pain as she looked away from him to the other occupants filling seats in the bistro. She looked back at him her eyes no longer that apple green, but that deep green she usually had on reserve as she replied, "Did you love Wendy?"

Looking into her eyes, Jax knew he barely scratched the surface of who Delilah Carmine really was.

* * *

"You know you would make things so much easier if you didn't put up so much of a fight in who is paying the bill." Jax commented as he walked Delilah to her car after their lunch.

"Well maybe you shouldn't put up so much of a fight,  _VP_ ," Delilah drawled as she pressed the unlock bottom on her remote to her Ford Focus the beep echoing throughout the parking lot. "You know you can't back out of these Lamaze classes, either."

Jax bit his bottom lip as he tried to hide the smirk on his face from the scowl that had taken residence on Delilah's face from her last statement. "I won't, I promise." Jax knew it was slightly premature of him to make a promise this far in advance as unexpected things always happened with the club. Just because it was slightly quiet now didn't mean in three-four months they still would be and he was still waiting when that exact conversation was going to happen when Delilah would fully inquire about the club.

Jax had just reached Delilah's car when she paused and released an  _oh_  as her hands went to her stomach.

Panic immediately set in his bones as he stood in front of Delilah worry set in his eyes and he softly grabbed her upper arms with both hands, "What's wrong? Is it the baby?"

He watched dumbfounded as Delilah shook her head with a bright smile and she grabbed his left hand and placed it on her belly. Jax almost had the impulse to bring his hand back as he waited for whatever was supposed to happen. "I was told I wouldn't feel them this soon," Delilah whispered as the fluttering calmed.

Jax frowned as he didn't feel anything. "How far along are you?"

"16 weeks. His ears just developed and he seems to like your voice," Delilah looked up at him and frowned at his expression, "I'm sorry, god, you might not be able to feel them until a couple more weeks.

"It's alright," Jax replied with a slight frown.

Jax stilled slightly when Delilah placed her hands on top of his and when she began talking how her voice was low and unsure. "I know we don't really  _know_  each other now and I know we are going to eventually clash slightly from  _your_ world and your obligations to it." Delilah began as she pushed some of her discarded blonde hair out of her face as she looked up at her baby's father and regarded him intensely, "Just don't abandon our son."

Jax's gaze immediately flicked from her stomach to back to her and his eyes became a clear bright blue as her words soaked in and he replied, "I would never abandon him or you."

* * *

Donna Winston lived a relatively normal life.

Charming wasn't her hometown. Donna was actually born in San Jose and then the Greyden family relocated to Charming as Donna's mother, Leslie got a job at Charming's middle school and her dad, Bruce, worked at Oswald's lumber.

Donna had a brother, Luke, who was five years older than her. As soon as he graduated from high school he left the quiet life of Charming and joined the army and soon relocated to Oregon after completing 6 active years of service. Now he works at a local VA's office and was happily married with two boys.

Donna always liked Charming even with its close knit mentality and lack of expansion. Donna wasn't what you would call social, but she was social enough especially in high school. Donna knew she wasn't outstandingly beautiful. She was short, kept her hair short to her shoulders as well. Her skin was pale that complemented her dark shade of chocolate colored pin straight hair. She wasn't breaking a bust line, and she didn't really go out of her way to dress provocatively either. The only striking feature she thought she had was her bright blue eyes.

She was relatively normal that went along with her life.

Donna thought her life was normal up until five years ago, but she realized her life hadn't been normal in almost thirteen years since she met Harry "Opie" Winston.

Donna knew she could be naïve or oblivious to some things, but she wasn't that naïve when it came to the Sons of Anarchy. Sure, she didn't know exactly everything, which was her choice, but she knew the control they had over Charming as it was one of the reasons her parents sought to quickly move out of Charming and tried to persuade her to end her relationship with Opie.

When she got on Opie's radar, and he was relentless in trying to pursue her, she knew about his family history, somewhat. She still didn't know the exact pull or how Opie  _wooed_  her, but she never regretted it. Because she loved Opie with her whole being and he had given her two of the most beautiful kids and what made it even better was to look in her husband's eyes and to see how much he loved her.

Opie was loyal to a fault. He was dedicated, trustworthy, and at one point a constant in every sense of the word. Donna suspected these remarkable and admirable traits about her husband were what got them to this point.

Donna could admit shamefully and tearfully in the private and isolation in her bathroom with the shower running to cover her sobs that her marriage was in shambles.

It wasn't completely broken, but her marriage and family were a mess.

She blamed SAMCRO, mostly, and Opie and herself.

She tried to remain whole and strong with Opie inside for a minimum of five years with good behavior. But being forced to be a single mother for two kids with a job that left her living paycheck to paycheck and begrudgingly asking her parents for assistances as she refused SAMCRO's dirty money, she was exhausted and bitter.

Especially after the third year really her edges become harden and rough. It was after her kids were tired of the trips back and forth to Chino that the screaming matches started where they yelled they hated their dad for not being there and it came to a point she needed to actually start working the Sundays where she actually had time to visit her husband.

But even then she remained strong for him or as strong as she could be, but she officially shut out everyone from SAMCRO except Piney. She kept her distant from her husband's best friend especially after his questionable decision to marry a drug addict and she made sure to steer clear of Queen Gemma.

But those strong edges eroded especially with her husband's eventually release. She didn't know honestly what to expect. A part of her expected her husband to come back home and things would go back to normal. She could cut back on the double shifts and they wouldn't be so neck deep in debt and their kids would be happy with their father home, but she forgot she didn't have normal anymore.

She had to deal with the reality that her husband was now a convicted arsonist, their family was buried in debt, and her marriage wasn't what it was five years ago.

She saw the struggle Opie had every day after he promised her he wasn't going to go back to SAMCRO. She saw how he looked longingly at his leather cut that she tempted to on many occasions to fucking burn.

Although now Donna couldn't focus on her problem and she was focusing on something that wasn't entirely her business, but it was a nice distraction and she could at least warn someone who had a bright future not to get sucked up in whatever she got herself swallowed by.

Donna didn't know exactly how to take the news that Opie accidently let slip to her one night, but a part of her was not that surprised because she saw the appeal of Jackson Teller. Just because she was married she wasn't fucking blind, but then again she felt shocked, which was more accurate than surprised.

She thought honestly Jax should have had little miniature versions of him already running around considering his man-whore ways, but she nearly spitted out the mouthful of water she had when Opie told her that Jax knocked up Delilah Carmine.

When Donna was slowly chipping away day by day from Opie's absence the Carmine family became sort of a clutch for her. Of course Delilah wasn't as involved as Donovan was especially in the last two years because of schooling, but Delilah always made sure to visit and send little gifts or cards for the kids. Donovan was a godsend as he watched her kids free of charge and even let Kenny and Ellie having free boxing lessons.

She knew Donavon was a friend of the club and although she was skeptical at first she knew his friendship extended only to Piney really and although she would never voice it she suspected some type of bad blood between Donovan and Clay. When Donovan came over some of the comments he made left the impression that he wasn't all that impressed how Clay was running SAMCRO and how it was leaving her with two babies to raise alone.

Besides that she thought the "friend of the club" status would extend to Delilah and she had a feeling Jax broke some protocol by not only sleeping with her, but knocking her up as well.

Donna already began praying for Delilah because not really looking at context and only looking at it from a certain perspective Delilah was a major upgrade from Wendy and everyone knew that Gemma was looking for the chance to extend her bloodline.

Donna felt she may be sort of exaggerating the situation, but they were dealing with the  _Prince_  of Charming it was going to break all those croweaters' hearts.

It seemed though men gossiped worse than females as Opie practically related Delilah and Jax's night of indiscretion. So while she watched the young mother to be hand her kids a piece of pizza each for dinner she didn't have to slowly torment herself with the what ifs or why her and Jax had this weird energy surrounding them.

Donna turned around to fill her cup of pop up when she heard footsteps enter the kitchen.

"So Jax told me he told Opie and I am assuming Opie told you."

Donna turned around and gave her a sheepish smile, "I wasn't going to comment unless you were going to announce it although I think you are at a point where your stomach is going to do most of the talking for you, but congratulations really. I know you will be a great mother and if you need anything, help, or advice. I am here."

"Thanks and I know I will be taking you up on that offer," Delilah said as she refilled her own cup, but with juice.

"Well, all I can say now is that you and Jax will have a gorgeous baby…"

"Boy," Delilah filled in for her. "I think. I just have this feeling."

Donna nodded her head in understanding. "Wow a miniature Jax. Just what Charming needs," Donna said as she looked over her shoulder at her family with Jax at the dining room table laughing and smiling. Donna looked back up at Delilah who too was watching the scene with a fond smile. "You know with you having a son…there is going to be a lot of responsibilities and notions bestowed on you." Donna said quietly as she was trending lightly.

Donna watched as Delilah's green eyes clashed with her own blue, "You mean Gemma?"

Donna slightly nodded her head, "Gemma, most definitely, and the club, more specifically."

"Don…I'm not  _with_  Jax."

"But you're having his baby. Trust me, I am not trying to sound like a bitch and it's certainly an open secret about Opie's…" Donna paused and slightly cleared her throat and looked back out into the dining room to make sure the kids and Opie and Jax were still distracted. "Opie's and mine problems, but Jax is your baby's father and if you are together or not god forbid if he gets arrested or something happens club related you will still feel that blowback and especially your son. I mean I love Opie, but…"

"You can't love the club," Delilah somberly finished for her.

* * *

Donovan thought he would be used to the sight by now, but he never was. He hated visiting the fucking place. He fucking hated it, but besides his niece she was the only family he had. He tried to visit every other week, tried to get over the anger he felt with her recovery – her sobriety. But he couldn't he was still just so damn bitter, she had to live here in the first place. After all the help, he, Luann, and hell even the club tried to do for her.

She didn't deserve to know anything that was going on in his life, which was practically nothing, or especially her daughter's life.

He hated to even think it, but he thought of his sister as weak for seemingly giving up on life after Niall's death. How she didn't seem to want to live for the only piece of him that was still left. He knew it was hypocritical, but they both had their suspicions Niall didn't disappear willingly.

He just didn't know how much more he could take visiting Lily though. It was too fucking depressing for him. It's been almost 18 years and he was tired of it. It didn't help that Delilah and Lily were practically twins although Lily was a severely malnourished and decaying one.

Delilah stopped visiting her mother two years ago. He knew it was unwillingly but he thought it was for the best.

Donovan knew Lily messed up Delilah somehow with her absence.

He was tempted to tell Lily about her becoming a grandparent, but she didn't need to know that. Nothing was ever going to snap her out of this fucking stupor of everyone looking past her junkie ways. As his mood was shot, all he wanted was a drink. They both sat in silence only the sounds of feet padding in the hall made conversation.

He just wished he knew what went wrong with him and Lily.

He knew what went wrong with him he had too much luggage after the war and he was okay with that. He accepted it for what it was worth.

Lily though she had so much promise. He filled that stereotypical older brother to a T. Lily could have been anything she wanted she was book smart she could have been a doctor, lawyer, and even a fucking scientist or some shit, but she settle for being the wife of Niall Murphy.

That was his sister's eventual downfall.

Niall was a great guy and he truly was, but unlike his daughter, she didn't remember his problems. The problems that Donovan suspected got his brother in law killed and caused Lily before she went off the deep end to change her only daughter's name back to her maiden name of Carmine.

"They tell me I can make a case to get my license back," Lily said speaking up as she played with the sleeve of her long-sleeved shirt.

Donovan hummed, "You sure working again is best for you. The stress wouldn't be good." He thought about all the temptation she would be around working at St. Thomas.

"It's not like I can see myself going back to Cara Cara." She remarked dryly. "Besides I have a sponsor, I'm going to go to meetings. I'll also be able to stay here for a little while longer before I can get my own place or maybe stay with you."

"I'm not going to be your damn babysitter," Donovan grumbled. "Besides Delilah's back home. There ain't no room."

"It's a three bedroom home."

Donovan wasn't about to tell her that the extra bedroom was for the baby. "Let's just see how the meeting goes with the board."

* * *

Donovan took a long gulp from his bottle of Tequila when a gruff voice like his own interrupted his thoughts, "That time of the week."

"Yep," Donovan replied to his best friend, Piney Winston. Piney and Donovan met when they were serving overseas for their country and he then quickly met John Teller along with Clay Morrow, but unlike them he wasn't interested in the original idea of them forming a hippie commune as JT once mentioned to him. Although he stuck around and watched it form while he was shocked that his sister's friend, Gemma Maddock, suggested they form roots in their somewhat conservative town.

"Del still see her?"

"No, it's for the best," Donovan said as he looked up at all the photos adorning the walls to Piney's cabin.

"Shame that Lily is missing out on her daughter's life."

"And her future grandson," Donovan let slip and he heard Piney let out a whizzy cough causing him to take a hit from his oxygen tank.

"What the fuck you say."

"Cupcake's pregnant about 16 weeks."

"By who?"

"Del refuses to give the name."

"That sounds vaguely familiar." Piney grumbled.

Donovan took a sip from his Tequila as a sign of agreement as he remembered Lily was the same way when she got pregnant with Delilah and she refused to give up Niall's name for the longest time knowing he didn't agree with some of the shit Niall got himself into and was born into.

"She keeping it?" Piney asked.

"Yeah."

"Well here is a toast to becoming a grandpa." Piney joked as they clinked their bottles together.


	5. Design Flaws

Jax actually felt nervous as he led Delilah down the hallway in his house. Since Charming was mostly homogeneous when it came to housing designs he knew the house layout was similar to her and her Uncle's house with the exception of a couple added rooms or the location of certain things and of course the obvious interior design which made a home feel different.

Jax honestly never gave much thought about housing. The only reason he bought this current house was because of his relationship with Wendy as he couldn't be married and live in a dorm room.

Not surprisingly, Wendy was the first woman he ever lived with. He quickly learned very abruptly that cleaning was not one of her strong suits and her cooking was questionable at best. It wasn't as if he had the stereotype that women were only good for cooking and cleaning, but there were days where he would just stay in the guest room in his own house as it seemed to be the only partial clean area in the house and eat a bowl of cereal as his pantry was constantly empty.

Jax knew, and he would admit it loudly, that he had to rely on his mother for most things pertaining to domestic things. However, very quickly with Wendy, he and yellow gloves became best friends as he tried to at least make his house presentable especially since his mother refused to clean up after Wendy.

Although it wasn't until recently after Wendy's less than graceful exit from his life that this house, which he was still paying the mortgage on, finally felt like an actually home. As before it used to feel like a bachelor's pad until he became bored with his wife throwing a party every weekend resulting in him babysitting her and making sure she didn't choke on her own vomit.

Since it seemed he had been hit with baby fever he took it upon himself to practically  _gut_  the house. He had the floors replaced and hired painters to repaint basically every room. It put a dent in his wallet. His mom, grateful he was taking interest in his home that she claimed was on the verge of turning into a crack house, was skeptical on his sudden need to remodel.

Luckily the baby fever wasn't at a peak where he was buying baby furniture but he had the baby's room picked out and cleaned. He decided he was going to let Delilah be the one to steer him in the direction of what she wanted for their son.

So now, he was just showing her the basic layout of his house as he presumed she would need to be familiar with it. He was watching as she took in the various items he owned. He didn't miss the pointed look as her eyes gleamed amusingly at all the biker paraphernalia in his house. Her fingers glided over his leather couches and he noticed her nails were painted a navy blue similar to the shade of the shirt he was wearing that had SAMCRO stamped across it.

It was a slow Saturday for him. He was dealing with a slight hangover from the after church party the previous night and was drinking his umpteenth glass of water when he received a text from Delilah containing a picture of a baby leather jacket. Somehow he ended up inviting her over to his house on the pretense of having a late lunch. Jax felt a rush of embarrassment and terror as he, the bad boy biker was having a lunch date.

She arrived promptly 30 minutes later with a genuine smile on her face that was free of makeup. As she came in, he took notice of how in the few days they hadn't seen each other how her stomach was becoming more prominent. Granting her tight V-neck didn't really hide the fact she was indeed pregnant.

Jax watched her move in her black yoga pants as she looked at his bare entertainment stand one hand on her hip and he wonder if she noticed how her other hand stayed predominately on her growing stomach. He gazed lower on her body as he thought about to that night when her voice broke through of his reverie of him thinking about her creamy and supple thighs, "Your house is very bare."

Jax's eyes immediately traveled back up her face where she glanced briefly at him with a smirk knowing he had been caught before turning her attention back to one of the few pictures in his house which was of the First 9.

"I just cleaned it out. There was a lot of useless shit from the past few years, trust me," He replied as he leaned against the wall with his hands in his jean pockets.

"I hear a lot of people say that about their exes," Delilah jibed and laughed at the scowl he sent her. "But besides that it is a nice starter house, but needs a lot of baby proofing."

"Baby proofing?" Jax echoed.

"Yep," she replied giving him a smile as she set her purse down on his loveseat and she went to continue, but they were interrupted by the sound of the doorbell echoing throughout the house.

Jax had grabbed another slice of pizza when Delilah changed the direction of their conversation from what Donna would be willing to give them for their son to someone he had no interest to even talk about.

"I need to ask you something." Delilah said as she placed down her piece of pizza. "I understand if you don't want to answer, but kind of not answering…gives me the answer. I mean –"

"Del, what is it?" Jax asked interrupting her.

Delilah took a deep breath. "Look, this is completely your personal life…but I was just wondering…I mean…should I be aware of anything going on between you and Ima."

Jax stilled and looked at his half eaten pizza and risked a glance at Delilah who was chewing on her piece of pizza not sparing a glance at him. Fucking Ima, he knew fucking around with a porn star was going to bite him in the ass. He only slept with Ima a couple of times and the clingy act got old real quick with her leaving voicemails and seemingly always being at the clubhouse. It had been months since she made an appearance in his bed and he would think she would get the message. "She say anything to you?"

"They all say something, Jax." She muttered. "But she's the only one that goes out of her way to mention you. She saw us that night."

"I'm sure a lot of people did, Del. Others know that it's best to keep their mouth shut." He replied irritable.

Delilah rubbed her fingers on her forehead. "That's beside the point. I'm just saying what you do in your own time, is your own business."

"Del –"

"No, let me finish, it's just that what you do now, doesn't just affect you anymore, but our son."

"I know that." Jax told her. "And Ima –"

"Jax, I really don't want to know."

Jax pursed his lips together. "If she says something else, let me know. I'll talk to her."

"I think that's what she wants, Jax." Delilah replied with a pointed look.

He watched as she became focused on eating her pizza and refused to glance in his direction. Jax felt the urge to fucking slap Ima. It was one of the reasons he was so wary of Delilah being surrounded by all those porn stars because of his sordid past with a few of them.

"Jax, it's not exactly a secret about how you are with women."

Jax snorted at that. "She was nothing to me, Del." Ima was just another nameless face to distract himself from Wendy's problems and his own.

Jax watched as Delilah looked at him with a conflicted look with her bottom lip caught between her teeth before she eventually nodded her head. Jax would have given anything to know exactly what fleeted through her mind as her green eyes burned into his blue eyes.

* * *

"You should paint the walls blue," Delilah suggested as she looked around his vacant spare room that was just a simple white. It was the only room not tarnished by his and Wendy's relationship. He thought it was the perfect room to be for his son.

That got him thinking about what exactly the living situation was going to be after his son was born. His concern was his schedule and how much time he could devote to his newborn son. He was the Vice President of the mother charter where things between the Mayans and now the Nords were brewing slowly. At this moment his hours weren't unpredictable and he wasn't on call 24/7, but that could and he knew eventually was going to happen.

He didn't have normal work hours as Delilah and he didn't want to be a hi and bye dad. He also didn't want to always have to travel to see his only son. After their semi-serious conversation in the kitchen he wasn't exactly sure how to bring this tidbit up now. Jax ran a hand through his hair as he realized how much his life was going to change in a few months.

"You okay?"

Jax eyes flew to Delilah who was now standing in front of him her hands wrapped protectively around her belly. Her green eyes holding concern for him. Jax pushed himself off the wall and looked around the bare room, "You can have free reign here. I don't know shit about  _interior_  design." He said as he went to grab a cigarette and put it in his mouth but as quickly as he grabbed it, it was quickly removed.

"No smoking," Delilah said with the stick in between her fingers, "but don't you want a say in your son's room. This is your house, not mine." She said as she handed him back the cigarette and he placed it behind his ear not even bothering to be agitated about being told not to smoke.

"Aren't you going to be here a lot with the kid anyways?" Jax asked bluntly.

"I mean to a point, I guess," Delilah said tentatively. "In the beginning, I don't mind being here to help out."

"Besides don't you have to baby proof?" Jax added on with a smirk.

"Don't be a jerk," Delilah scolded playfully but resigned to the fact she would be in charge of designing the room, "We're going to be shopping together for the stuff though so you know what everything is."

"Okay, boss," Jax said as he followed her out the room and he noticed she was walking back to the living and he decided to mess with her a little, "You don't want to see the master bedroom?"

He watched as she turned around and quirked an eyebrow with her hands on her hips not amused, "What happened, Jackson, was a one-time thing, okay?"

Jax wouldn't admit it but he felt somewhat deflated by her statement.

"Besides, why would I want to sleep on a bed you shared with your ex-wife?" She said bluntly.

Jax walked towards her, "Trust me, I bought a new bed." Jax walked into his living room and sat on his couch and grabbed the TV and looked back up at Delilah who was grabbing her purse, "You leaving?"

Delilah looked at him with an raised eyebrow, "Why you want me to stay?"

"I wouldn't mind the company," Jax replied and he waited anxiously for Delilah's next move and he had a small smile on his face as she set her purse back down and took a seat on the other end of the couch.

* * *

Gemma walked through the isle of the grocery store a very happy mother.

She was finally glad her son got rid of that junkie whore he thought not only was it a good idea to make his Old Lady, but marry her giving Wendy their last name.

She didn't always hate Wendy per say, Wendy had potential if she wasn't too occupied getting her next fix. Gemma knew with a little molding she would have been the perfect Frankenstein monster, but Wendy's love of crank nixed that and in Gemma's eyes made her weak.

She thanked God everyday her son didn't knock up that junkie and making them have to deal with Wendy longer than she had anticipated. That would have been a disaster for all of them. Although now one problem was out of all their lives a new one has come in like Gemma should have expected. Gemma had noticed in the past two weeks something had been off with her son.

She at first thought it was because of fucking Wendy, but she knew there was no love loss after Wendy's failed attempt to get clean, which she warned her son was going to be a bust, but he had a hero complex or whatever. So she nixed Wendy being the cause of trouble  _again_.

The only reason her son was blaring brightly on her radar was because she noticed he would leave the lot every day during lunch time. Not that him having lunch off the lot was unusual, but she noticed her son's attitude from returning lunch and it was the same attitude after he had a relatively good lay. So that led into her observing his body language. He seemed  _troubled_. Nothing drastic was going on within the club, but her son was giving off an aura that  _something_  was bothering him.

Gemma quickly suspected there was another woman in her son's life, but it didn't add up as she just witnessed on Friday him taking a girl back to his dorm. Thank god it wasn't that clingy Double Penetration that practically stalked the clubhouse. She wasn't quick to dismiss that there was a woman in his life after witnessing that, but she concluded that it must not be that serious, but she wasn't sure.

It was just the situation reminded her of Tara Knowles how he would disappear and come back looking like fucking Superman. He still messed around, before the next thing she knew she was hearing whispers around town that Frank Knowles, the town's drunk, daughter was seeing  _her_  son.

Gemma would admit she casually searched through his dorm room and she didn't find jack shit. She knew the next stop would be his house, but she highly doubted a woman would want to spend time in a house he shared with his ex-wife although to her surprise Jax had the house deep cleaned.

Gemma knew she was missing the big picture. She was missing something.

So that was why she was having a mandatory family dinner not only to celebrate her son getting rid of that junkie, but to interrogate her only living child as he seemed to not be able to be in a room with her for more than five minutes. It seemed her son forgot that she raised his little ass and was honed into all his behaviors on how he would hide something from her.

Gemma turned the corner to head into another isle when her cart rammed into another one.

"Oh god, I am so sorry," the voice called out as they made sure nothing fell out of their carts.

Gemma normally would be annoyed, but despite her son's dubious mood, she wasn't in the mood to scold this person for not watching where they were going. Although Gemma had to push her sunglasses to the top of her head when she got a good look at this person and the condition this person was in.

"Delilah Carmine?" Gemma watched Delilah still slightly that Gemma took noticed of before she looked at her with a wide smile.

"Gemma, it's nice to see you."

Gemma tilted her head a little a smirk on her face, "You too, sweetheart, your Uncle and Luann said you have been busy with work that's why we haven't seen you around in a while, but I take it that is not all." Gemma said raising an eyebrow as she watched Delilah fix her shirt that did nothing to hide that she was indeed pregnant and not just carrying a few extra pounds. "How far along are you?"

"17 weeks."

Gemma's eye widen a fraction knowing Delilah had been back in Charming that long given a few more weeks, "Dad in the picture?"

"He is still…adjusting." Delilah said delicately with a small smile.

"Huh." Gemma was real curious who had the balls to knock up Donovan's niece and she wondered why Donovan remained tight lipped on the matter. On top of that she was wondering why she was just now hearing about Delilah being pregnant. Gemma was glad Luann was on her speed dial. Yet, now she knew why Delilah was seemingly avoiding the clubhouse. However, Gemma had her own project in trying to decipher her son's cagey behavior maybe afterwards she would look into Delilah's after all she was a friend of the club. "We're having a family dinner. You and your uncle should come," Gemma offered.

"Oh…maybe next time," Delilah replied, "I already have something cooking at home. I just needed to come and grab some more condiments."

Gemma slid her sunglasses down not at all affected by the obvious back out in attending the dinner, "Alright, sweetheart, next time I expect you at my house though." Gemma said walking away with her cart before she turned back, "Delilah, what are you having?" Gemma said pointing to the expanding belly.

Delilah gave her a bright smile as she replied, "I go for my scan next week, but I think it's going to be a boy."

* * *

Gemma was sitting to the left of her husband at the dining room table as she cut into her steak. As dinner was being made and the guys slowly made their way into her home she planned on cornering her son to see where his head was at, but she decided to back off as his mood was now different and she really went back to her first theory she quickly nixed that his mood was because of Wendy. As now, with him sitting across from her, he was laughing and joking with the guys and whatever was weighing him down seemed to evaporate. She was going to just let it go. Although now she couldn't after watching her son's body language change after Tig brought up the noticeable absence at the table of Donovan Carmine.

Since Delilah went off to college despite Donovan's reservations about some things pertaining to the club, Gemma left her door wide open for him and he became a permanent fixture during the family dinners. Even if she knew why he wouldn't be making an appearance for this one she wondered why her son decided to hide his face behind his beer bottle.

Not taking her eyes off her son she replied to Tig's curiosity, "Well with Delilah being back I am sure she is feeding him pretty nicely now that she is eating for two." Gemma watched as Jax made himself busy in eating and seemed to be avoiding her gaze.

"Delilah Carmine is pregnant?" Bobby spoke up from his seat next to Jax.

"Shite, when did that happen?" Chibs added on.

"Obviously someone has a death wish in missing with Don's niece, but damn have you seen those legs on her and tha-" Tig said, but was quickly interrupted by Jax's voice telling him to knock it off. Tig put his hands up in surrender, "Jax, come on, man, I seen you eyeing a few times brother."

Gemma watched as her son clenched his jaw, but didn't deny or confirm the allegation, but her Spidey senses were tingling where her son looked at her. His face was blank but in his eyes she saw curiosity leak through his blue eyes as he asked her, "When did you see Delilah?"

"She was at the market. We bumped into each other. She actually told me she thinks she's having a boy," Gemma informed the table while cutting another piece of her steak her eyes focused on Jax and before he could speak she quickly added, "You don't seem all that surprised."

Gemma didn't miss Jax tighten his grip around his sweating bottle before taking a quick gulp, "I ran into Delilah a few weeks ago. She didn't seem all that keen on announcing her news."

"Well in a small town like Charming she is lucky she kept it a secret for 17 weeks," Gemma quipped.

Gemma watched her son dig back into his food and unbeknownst to him a seed had been planted in her mind about why exactly Jax seemed disgruntled about the topic of Delilah being pregnant.

* * *

Jax sat in his designated seat at the Redwood table on the left side of his step-father, the President, Clay Morrow. He still remembered the day he was declared VP going on close to six years ago when Piney's emphysema took a turn for the worst. It had made waves through the other charters that John Teller's son finally was taking a place in club hierarchy and it didn't help he was one of the youngest to do so at the ripe age of 24.

Despite the club running through his veins, Jax still felt nervous and somewhat scared. He knew all eyes were watching him and being critical of his every decision as a VP. Clay was always constantly testing him on his competence.

Although now as he smoked what he believed to be his fifth cigarette in the hour they had all gathered around the handcrafted Reaper table to discuss their current standings with other organizations, a protection run for Unser, and their gun business. That nervous energy that swarmed him all those years ago he felt that now when he knew not only Clay would question his competence.

Ever since the family dinner, his mind had been invaded with thoughts of how he was going to break the news to not only to his mother, but his club about the fact he was the one to knock up Donovan's niece.

It wasn't as if it wasn't exactly on his mind that he would have to reveal he had a son on the way now that Delilah's pregnancy wasn't confined just between them and the hallways of St. Thomas anymore. He knew after this appointment he needed to tell his mother especially about his impending fatherhood.

He knew his mom and he knew by his behavior his mom might have started to suspect something no thanks to Tig starting it with his snide remarks about his baby's mother.

It also didn't help he hadn't talked to Delilah since she dropped by his house Saturday afternoon. He texted her late after the family dinner and earlier in the day but he received no response which was slightly ruffling his feathers a bit by her lack of response. He knew he would have to hear from her soon as she was the one to confirm they were still on for lunch.

Jax was so lost in his thoughts he almost missed Clay mention something very vital and something Jax completely forgot he was on rotation for the next run which was Wednesday the same day as Delilah's appointment.

Internally Jax groaned and leaned back into his chair to hide his obvious deflation at the news. He simply nodded his head at his step father who was luckily oblivious to his mood. He quickly stubbed his cigarette out and another streak of distress shot through him as he looked at the stub. Not only had he promised Delilah he would be there for her next appointment, but he promised her he would try and cut back on smoking and by the burning amber that promise quickly turned to shit.

Jax was eagerly waiting for Clay to slam the wooden gavel on the table so he could check his phone for any type of message from Delilah though he was not looking for her emerald eyes to darken in disappointment as he felt he was already starting to bail on his kid.

* * *

Gemma was peeking through the white plastic blinds from TM's office as she watched her son stalk over to his bike and what she would describe would be a brooding look on his face as he listened to whatever Clay was telling him and like men usual were she noticed Clay seemed oblivious to her son's indifferent attitude.

Gemma quickly backed away from the blinds after watching her son get on his bike presumably to leave as it was lunch time and Clay was making his way into the office.

Gemma made herself look busy reading over an invoice when Clay stepped into the office quickly making his way over to her greeting her with a quick kiss.

"Everything okay, baby?" Gemma asked innocently.

Clay looked at his wife confused his eyes slightly narrowed behind his dark shades, "Yeah, why?"

"No reason, Jax just seemed a little on edge before he left."

Clay sat down on the battered couch in the office dismissing his wife's observation, "I think he was worried about the divorce stalling due to Wendy trying to be bitter." Clay commented aloud as he still wondered why of all the croweaters he had picking of his son decided on Wendy. He knew his high school gash messed him up, but he seemed to make it a point to go for the complete polar opposite. However his own inner thoughts about his son's taste in Old Ladies were squashed as he saw the pensive look on his wife's face.

He knew Gemma was overprotective when it came to Jax and was meddlesome and he was obviously missing from this conversation, "Something I need to know?"

He watched as his wife glanced at him briefly as her chin rested on her closed fist as she seemed to be battling telling him whatever what was on her mind most likely relating to Jax and he wasn't going to leave the office until he told her because she had a knack of starting fires when there was nothing to burn.

Gemma leaned back into her chair as she looked at Clay, "Jax there's something bothering him. I think he is hiding something."

"Like what?" Clay asked almost flabbergasted because to him Jax seemed fine and if anything was suspicious he immediately wrote it off having to pertain to Wendy.

"You noticed for the past week or so he regularly leaves to go to lunch and comes back looking like fucking King Kong. He is taking interest in that house he never gave two shits about before and he is practically glued to his cell phone."

Clay didn't even know how to respond to that because he didn't notice half this shit except that Jax was taking care of his home. "Gem, I don't see the problem here."

"I think he is seeing someone," Gemma stated bluntly and it caused Clay to bark out a laugh.

"Yeah, he was seeing a croweater on Friday," he replied and noticed an unamused look overtaking his wife's features and he became sober and serious editing his reply, "If he was seeing someone don't you think he would save that sleeping around shit for when he was on a run?"

Gemma looked at her husband and shook her head and she didn't know why she said what she did but it slipped out before she could even stop herself knowing her accusation was bold, "What about the fact he knew Delilah was pregnant and didn't mention that."

"That ain't our business, Gem, so why would he say shit anyways."

"You know Rosie is seeing Juice and she brought Delilah to a clubhouse party…" Gemma said trailing off hoping her husband would see the dots that were forming in her head. Nothing went passed Gemma and she heard a few whispers about Delilah's arrival from an disgruntled croweater talking about how Jax spent the night with Delilah after telling an hang around to back off.

"Shit, Gem, you think your son knocked up Delilah Carmine! Come on you think if he hooked up with her with a clubhouse full of people we wouldn't noticed or already heard about it." Clay had to bite his tongue from calling his wife paranoid.

"There hasn't been a pussy Jax hasn't come across that he didn't like. You saw how cagey he was acting when Delilah was brought up."

Clay stood up from couch and looked at his wife seriously, "So why hasn't he came clean to us –  _you_."

"Because he is still adjusting," Gemma said repeating the words Delilah said to her as she thought about how Delilah's behavior that day in the market.

Clay rubbed his temples and he internally he concluded his wife was becoming bored as she had nothing to amuse herself with besides filling her head with gossip and paranoia. "You need me to talk to him."

Gemma immediately shook her head, "No, just give me some time and see how he is after this run."

Clay nodded his head but he pointed he index finger at his wife, "But don't go starting fires, Gem, especially with this Carmine accusation with  _that_  history…"

"I know, baby," Gemma said standing up from her seat giving her husband a peck on the lips, "but I don't think we need to worry about Don especially if this is true…if anything it keeps the closets closed and sealed tight."

* * *

Jax twirled his spoon in his coffee mug as Delilah went over the Lamaze packets and some pamphlets for expecting fathers. He wished he could somehow participate in the excitement, but his nerves were too strung out on the fact he still needed to tell her he wouldn't be able to attend her doctor appointment.

He didn't know if he should tell her now in the safety of being in public, but he had a feeling it wouldn't matter anywhere where she would chew him out for breaking his promise. A part of him was unsettled on how much Delilah was already affected him. The sentiment felt foreign to him something he hasn't felt towards someone in close to a decade, but he blamed these feelings on his impending father that he was trying to get a firm grip on.

"Are you okay?"

Jax's eyes flew up to meet Delilah's curious gaze and his twirling hit a snag causing the sterling silver spoon to clink against the ceramic mug. He ran his hand through his hair free from the confines of his Reaper cap distracting himself from the inevitable reply he would give her. His hand wiped down his jaw as he tried everything in his power to avoid Delilah's gaze, but in the end failed as his blue crashed with her green.

Jax decided to just rip the band aide off fast, "Something came up on Wednesday and I won't be able to make the appointment."

Jax watched her apple green eyes darken before a flash seemed to swipe across them and they receded back to her neutral color. "Oh, that's okay. There will be more appointments" Delilah replied giving him a weak smile trying to hide the disappointment in her voice.

"Del, I really wanted to go, but something came up," Jax said with a despondent sigh at the grim look that overcame her features.

"It's fine, Jax."

 _No, it's really not_ , Jax thought internally as he watched her twirl her straw in her drink and seemed to be defeated or her mood seemed to deflate, really. "I think we need to tell people – your mother – about the baby." Delilah said after a moment of silence.

Jax agreed. "I know, my mom mentioned she saw you at the grocery store."

"We should do it next week maybe at her house or yours," Delilah suggested.

"What about your uncle?"

"We should tell him separately at my house after your mom. I feel he might take it worse than your mom."

Jax nodded his head as he played with the handle of his coffee mug for some reason he was content in letting Delilah having the reigns on how they were going to handle this whole pregnancy thing. He didn't have to fear that Delilah would suddenly cut him off or keep him from seeing his son, although some doubt lingered that one day she could possibly do that if pushed. "You sure you are not upset about me missing the appointment."

He watched as Delilah took a breath as she leaned back against her seat a hand instinctively going to her small round bump that encased their child, "It's fine, I am sure it must be…important to reneged on your promise." Delilah told him her teeth nibbling on her bottom lip as she seemed to suddenly lost interest in her food – him. His stomach dropped from her next comment, "I think we should get ready to go, I actually have some paperwork to do. Luann is actually ahead of schedule for once." She informed him looking anywhere but at him.

Jax knew it was a lie and he just simply nodded his head as she got up from the table as he placed a few bills on the table paying for their meal. He knew she was upset with him as she didn't even give him grief about paying for her meal.

* * *

Delilah walked back into Cara Cara after cutting her lunch sort with Jax. She didn't know how to decipher what exactly she was feeling. She didn't know if she was allowed to be peeved and hurt that Jax was not coming to the doctor appointment after he promised he would. She didn't like how this was causing so much emotional turmoil. Despite her and Jax seemingly heading towards co-parenting, she had prepared herself into being the sole provider for their son. She was going to be there with him 24/7 because of Jax and his commitment to the club.

_The club._

Delilah knew she was overthinking slightly. She knew it was a club commitment that prevented Jax from attending this appointment and it slightly left her irked. Maybe it was an overreaction; especially since she was not Jax's Old Lady or anything, but she couldn't help but think this would be a common occurrence in her and now their unborn son's life.

Delilah grew up familiar with the ways of the club since her uncle was best friends with Piney. However, she wasn't all that familiar and she knew her uncle wasn't always pro-club either. She saw the advantages of the club and now she clearly was seeing a disadvantage.

Delilah needed to remind herself that the club wasn't her concern and she wanted to put Jax in that box, but Jax had grown on her, grudgingly. She wasn't delusional she knew her and Jax were only being more friendly based upon the fact their night of indiscretion resulted in a pleasant surprise. As she said, she knew Jax was attractive, loyal, and a really good man, but with his track record it made him not really a good candidate for a romantic partner. There were too many variables like the revolving door of women and she wasn't sure he ever moved on from Tara. She didn't even want to open her own issues regarding relationships. Since the beginning, Delilah had been fine with just co-parenting with Jax and just having general concern for him as the father of her child.

Then Saturday happened.

When she visited him at his house she saw this whole different side to him. She saw him making an effort in wanting to make sure the house was up to her standards for their son. Then when she entered the designated room for their son she couldn't help the warm feeling that sprouted in her at the thought of Jax being a father, their child being a miniature copy of him with his blue eyes and blonde hair.

Those thoughts then turned into fantasies of them raising their son together and she quickly squashed those and berated herself for them as she already told Jax what transpired between them was a one-time thing.

She was not looking for a relationship and for now she wanted to just focus on her job, unborn child, and her uncle. She didn't have room for anyone else and despite that she already felt Jax chipping away that exterior and she hated the pang of disappointment she felt at lunch.

She could already feel the berating she was going to most likely get from her uncle for not only sleeping with Jax Teller, but now she was going to give birth to his son. She was certain there would be some colorful terms shot at her, but she was prepared to deal with it. Additionally, she was prepared to deal with Gemma. She felt bad for lying to her at the supermarket, but it was what her and Jax agreed on to keep it quiet until this appointment. It seemed that he had no problem making sure this promise was kept sealed tight and Delilah almost felt like she was some dirty little secret even though she signed up for it.

Delilah didn't like feeling this way. She had never been emotionally unkempt since –

"Delilah!"

Delilah jumped at the deep male voice that interrupted her thoughts. Delilah looked up into the brown eyes of Sebastian since their encounter at the café she had somehow managed to successfully avoid running into him. Delilah plastered a small smile on her face hoping to give an illusion that it is somewhat pleasant to see him, "Sebastian," Delilah greeted as he made his way to her. She looked around the lot and wondered what a Chiropractor would be doing at a porn studio.

"Pregnancy seems to suit you well," Sebastian commented.

Delilah gave an indifferent shrug of the shoulders basically in all honestly she wasn't seeing any difference in her body. It already seemed like all her weight was going to be distributed in her belly. She had already begun lathering her small bump with stretch mark cream. So she didn't exactly know what Sebastian was really complimenting because she sure as shit hadn't gotten bigger boobs overnight. However, she replied anyway to be polite, "Thanks, it is still early though, but I guess it helps I found a workout class geared toward pregnant women." Delilah had already begun mentally preparing herself for her body to change especially with her small frame, but Delilah's eyes narrowed at the fact Sebastian of all people were commenting on her pregnancy body.

"How far along are you exactly?"

"Almost 18 weeks," Delilah replied trying to find some way out of this conversation and she already suspected what his next question was going to be. "I'm sorry, but can I ask what you're doing up here?"

"That's fine, it's okay," he said as he rubbed the back of his neck before speaking up again, "I was coming back from an appointment in this area and I remembered you worked her and was wondering we can go for lunch, just catch up for old time's sack?" He asked with a hopeful smile.

Delilah pursed her lips and really considered flat out rejecting him because she was confused on why he wanted this when all she did was break his heart and that was why she couldn't say no. Plus she was upset with Jax. "Does Thursday work for you?"

"Hanna's Diner?"

"Sure, does 12 work for you?"

Sebastian with a wide smile on his face, "Yeah, yeah, it does."

"Okay, see you then."

Delilah turned around and walked inside the building. She pulled her phone out of her pocket to dismiss the notification that her break was over when she paused at the text on the screen.

_I'm sorry._

For some reason, Delilah knew she would hear those two words a lot.


	6. Wrong Bump

Gemma parked her black Ford Mustang in Jax's empty drive way as she looked at the void house from her leather seat. Since Monday, she didn't question her son or make it abundantly clear she was looking for something. After her talk with Clay she realized she jumped to a major conclusion of Jax being the one to impregnate Delilah Carmine of all people in Charming. She just wanted to know what was wrong with her son. What the hell was bugging him?

Besides, she knew her son was not that reckless to not wear protection, also croweaters all salivate at the mouth of a chance with her son so she wasn't going to take the words of croweaters or porn stars.

She knew she made a big deduction on that one. Plus, she didn't believe her son would keep something like a baby from her no matter the circumstance or mother.

However, now since her son and husband were on a run she was presented with the golden opportunity of doing some investigation. She grew extremely critical of her son's forlorn expression on his face before he left and how his cellphone was practically burning a hole in his hand as he kept looking at it as if he was expecting a call.

She didn't say anything just gave him her usual form of departure of a kiss on the cheek and a  _be safe_. Jax unenthusiastically returned the gesture. He didn't even try to hide he was indeed not all excited to be going on a run where Tig had been gloating about the pussy buffet that awaited all of them. Still, if the men were oblivious about their VP's non-interest, she might as well act the same. The last thing she needed was her son knowing she was onto him.

Gemma stepped out of her car and looked at the exterior of her son's lawn and the subsequent neighborhood. She honestly was surprised at her son's choice of house for his first home. She knew he didn't put much thought into the purchase and she didn't even know he bought a house until he gave her an extra key directly a week or so after that scam of a marriage to Wendy.

The white paneling with the blue stone one story house, one house away from the corner somewhat stood out to the other homes. The outside did look a little dated from the lack of attention she could admit, but what made the house stand out was that exact lack of attention. Compared to the other houses on the block you could tell her son's house was void and empty. It didn't help this was a family friendly neighborhood and clearly every other house had some type of child influence. She didn't understand how his neighbors didn't see Wendy as a nuisance especially with her lack of maintenance regarding everything that her son wasn't all that better until now.

Gemma rose her eyebrows up at the obvious lawn upkeep as the brown spots were missing and the shrubs were no longer overgrown.

Gemma grabbed the spare key to her son's house and unlocked the front door and for a moment she thought she wasn't even in the right house. She actually did a double take at the pristine cleanliness of it all. She knew Jax must have had hired some sort of cleaner to practically gut the whole place. Her son seemed to have gotten rid of that tacky wallpaper in the kitchen and painted the walls a nice tan color similar to the shade she had at her own house. Unfortunately, that tacky wallpaper was still in the dining room. From what she could see in the walkway the rest of the house seemed to be painted a light blue. In addition to the paint job, her son seemed to have moved a lot of the shit Wendy accumulated out of the house as it wasn't cluttered anymore and everything matched.

For Wendy, drugs seriously messed up her ability to match and Gemma thanked god every day that woman was out of their life. Gemma flicked her gaze to the kitchen floor where she found Wendy convulsing like a damn fish out of water that made her son get some damn sense and officially divorced the junkie.

Gemma placed her purse on the wooden kitchen table and exhaled a hard breathe. She didn't know exactly what she expected to find because from face value there was no evidence of any type of female influence in the house.

Gemma quickly walked over to the refrigerator opening it finding nothing but bottles of beer, water, and leftover pizza in a tuber ware container. Since when in the hell did her son even put away leftovers. Gemma slammed the fridge and went into the side hallway that connected to the garage where the washer and dryer were located immediately opening them and searching through the clothes but found nothing.

For the next half hour, Gemma searched through every nook and cranny for something. All she found was  _nothing_. Gemma seriously thought she made herself delusional and may have overlooked how much Wendy did affect her son. Maybe she was too ecstatic about him getting rid of her she never thought about her son must have saw something in her to make her his wife despite his ill reasons. That was what made him John Teller's son, they weren't exactly emotional, but the men in her life couldn't properly navigate through feelings sometimes especially when the emotions were deep. They clouded their senses in certain missions. It was almost a blessing and a curse as they could hinder or make them stronger and she sure as hell hoped her son wouldn't possibly let Wendy turn him into John.

Gemma stopped and rubbed her forehead decidedly to let her son stew in whatever funk he was stirring when her attention was caught by the vacant room that was stark white in the house and the only thing that resided in there a lone wooden stool with magazines resting on top of it.

Gemma stepped in the room and she really didn't think that much of it that it was completely bare of anything especially since the other bedroom was in a similar state just with a few spare pieces of furniture and nick knacks. Gemma reached the stool and noticed that they were only the usual Harley magazines that were the only source of reading material for all the guys. Still she picked it up anyways and was not prepared for something to fall out of the magazine.

She almost dropped the intended magazine herself when her eyes zoned in on the small square packet of paper that advertised baby products.

* * *

Delilah couldn't help the tears that were leaking out of her eyes at Dr. Roden's news. Since she had just passed the 18 week mark her baby boy it was confirmed that he indeed was a baby boy it seemed her baby boy was not shy in letting them know. But the other news made her heart dropped to the bottom of her stomach.

She knew it was a risk and to be expected after she read over Jax's medical history that her baby could inherit his congenital heart defect. It made her slightly more upset he wasn't here with her to receive the news. Something like this wasn't something she couldn't not tell anyone especially her uncle about her baby's health. She didn't practically want to share this news alone either.

She knew this prognosis was not a death sentence especially since Jax and Gemma seemed healthy and with how the medical world is there were a lot of advancements to help her son and she had the medical knowledge and health to prevent her son's prognosis to not be a death sentence.

"Now, I think it would be best to lessen your work hours and you should start seeing me every other week just to monitor your son's heart. We are lucky we caught this soon, Delilah, so now when your son is born we can deal with this as soon as he is born. Do you have any questions?"

Delilah looked down at the pamphlet in her hand that described the disease in detail. She wiped her face for any lingering tears. "I think… I am good for now. I just don't know how to break the news to the  _father_."

Delilah was under no illusion that Dr. Roden didn't know that Jax Teller's name was listed as the father of her child especially since it was from his side that her baby inherited the disease. Delilah didn't know where it came from, but she now felt real anger from him not being here and just the fact she got pregnant by him and it caused her to pinch the bridge of her nose.

"Delilah, if I may say, it is in your best interest not to assign blame that Mr. Teller had no control over and if anything Mr. Teller will be a big help in assisting you in coping with this news as he has personal history with this disease. However, if you would like you two can always come here to discuss the news if you will like."

"I think I need to adjust to the news myself before telling anybody especially him," Delilah muttered.

"Well you know how to reach me if you have any questions or concerns," Dr. Roden replied giving her a polite smile.

* * *

Delilah closed the door to her car just wanting to curl in a ball on her bed and call it a night. She was completely flummoxed on how to exactly handle this particular news by herself. She never really considered the option she would have a  _sick_  baby. She hated to even classify her baby even as sick and she knew stressing about it wasn't going to help her baby either. Delilah shook her head off any more negative thoughts and placed her hands on the small bump, "Mommy loves you, baby. I know you are going to be just fine."

Delilah walked into her house and was not prepared to see how packed the house was with all of the Winston bloodline as Kenny and Ellie were eating in the kitchen with their mother while the men were in the living room.

Delilah placed her purse down on the end table by the door, "I think I didn't get the memo," Delilah said sending a pointed glance to her Uncle who was taking a sip of beer next to Piney and Opie.

"Well, it's been a while sweetheart, it seemed you went into hibernation with your cub," Piney piped up after taking a swig of his Tequila she was grateful her Uncle at least wasn't hitting the hard liquor.

Delilah didn't say anything but walked over to where Piney and Opie were greeting them both with a kiss on the cheek, "It's good to see you too Piney."

"So who knocked ya up?" Piney said gruffly cutting through any bullshit.

"Pop," Opie interceded knowing who the daddy actually was, as the two Carmines were quiet, one who was curious about the same thing and another trying to figure out to deflect especially after the news she received.

"So what did you guys get for dinner?" Delilah said ignoring Piney's heated glare.

"Pizza, wings, and salad," Donovan replied. "How was your appointment?"

"Okay, it's a boy," Delilah replied swiftly and walked into the kitchen where Donna and the kids were at. The kids were done with their food and working on their drinks.

"Hey Donna, kids," Delilah greeted placed a quick kiss on the kids heads and going over to grab herself a plate to eat before joining them at the table and began eating.

"Why don't you two bug the men?" Donna directed towards the kids, "Me and Delilah are going to have grown up talk."

The two kids gave no objection and ran into the living room. "You didn't have to do that?" Delilah said after swallowing her piece of pizza.

"You know I'm here."

Delilah instantly deflated some more because she knew what Donna was referring too and she wondered how much Opie and Jax talked. "Do you want to see the baby's room?"

Delilah asked knowing they needed to get away from curious ears and she wasn't all the hungry anyways.

Delilah and Donna travelled down the hallway ignoring the men's stare and into her son's future room. Unlike Jax who decided on blue for their son's room. Delilah decided to do a gray color scheme. The room was somewhat bare the only thing Delilah had bought was some new curtains and some artwork for the walls.

"I like the different color. I was expecting blue," Donna commented.

"Wrong house," Delilah quipped as she folded her arms across her chest.

"If it makes you feel any better, Opie said he really wanted to be there."

"Like you said I have to learn how to deal with this. It's whatever though. I am prepared to handle most of the weight." Delilah said shrugging her shoulders. Plus she blamed her pregnancy hormones for why she was sort of upset about Jax not being there.

"How did your appointment go?"

"I…I think I need to discuss it with Jax first."

Delilah watched as Donna's blue eyes widen in worry, "Is everything okay?"

"It's manageable…I just feel Jax needs to know first."

"When do you guys think you are going to announce the news?"

Delilah looked out to the door, "Hopefully within the next few days." She knew her Uncle was getting restless with her keeping this a secret and he made it new every second his eyes lingered on her growing stomach. She knew she was just going to make his outburst worst with each passing day. Now it didn't help it seemed Piney had jumped onto that bandwagon.

"Well if you are going to do a dark interior I have a dark wooden crib you can have."

Delilah gave Donna a smile as she successfully changed the topic of conversation and they talked about baby items.

* * *

Jax took a long drag of his cigarette as he fetched for his cell phone that seemed to be buried deep in his pockets. After making face as the VP of the mother charter and showing some interest in the activities around him he was glad he was able to break away to get some privacy.

Besides, this phone call was long overdue and he promised her he would call her today. He ignored that it was close to midnight and pressed the button to call Delilah. He fully braced himself for a berating for calling so late and on top of that missing the appointment although he fully expected her to not even answer the damn phone as it seemed to be ringing forever. Jax was about to hang the phone up when a laugh came through the speaker making him confused and he looked to make sure he dialed the right number.

" _Hello?"_

Jax threw his cigarette on the ground and stomped it out with the hell of his sneaker, "Del, it's me, Jax."

Jax couldn't describe exactly what he felt at that moment making something deeper than disappointment with Delilah's unenthusiastic reply,  _"Oh, one second."_

Jax could hear her excuse herself from where ever she was at before he heard the distinct sound of a door closing, "What's going on over there?" Jax asked his interest piqued.

" _Nothing, just some people over."_

"Like who?" Jax demanded to know and as soon as the words left his mouth he knew he crossed some invisible line at her intake of breathe and he would like to plan some of the alcohol that was flowing through his system for the gruffness of his voice.

" _Look, it is really none of_ your _concern, Jax. You don't see me asking who you are keeping company. Plus, I am pretty sure you didn't call me past midnight to ask me this when I had been waiting on your phone call all damn day."_

Jax pinched the bridge of his nose and looked out into the darkness of the night that SAMTAZ provided. All he heard was Delilah's breathing over the other end of the line and he knew she wasn't going to be the one to make any move, "I'm sorry, it's just been a long day. How was the appointment?" Jax wasn't prepared for Delilah to release a shaky breath, "Del, what's wrong? Talk to me, babe."

" _He's a boy. He proudly showed us that."_ She told him with a broken chuckle.

"But what else?"

" _The baby…our baby has CHD."_

At first, Jax didn't know what the heck she was saying with her quiet voice, but then it hit him like a freight train and he didn't honestly know what to even say. The only thing he could think of was his unborn son suffering like Thomas. He pinched his eyes shut and tried to find something to say as his mouth suddenly turned to cotton.

" _Jax say something."_

Jax focused back on the voice on the other end and he felt like a complete shithead for missing  _this_  appointment. "Hey, Del, it will be okay. I will be home tomorrow late afternoon we can meet for dinner okay. It's going to be okay, darlin'. We can manage this. I'm sorry I couldn't be there today."

Jax felt his own heart valves weaken by her simple airy reply,  _"Me too."_

* * *

Delilah quickly covered her hand with her mouth after the laugh that escaped her throat from Sebastian mimicking a story about a patient he had to treat. Despite her reservation about actually going through with this lunch she was glad she didn't make some excuse to cancel. She thought this was going to be Sebastian trying to worm his way back into her life and rekindling their old flame, but it wasn't. He generally just wanted to catch up with her and what had happen in the past six years of their lives.

She knew she needed this especially since the previous day regarding her doctor appointment and that late night phone call Jax decided to give her. She hated that she would have preferred to have him physically there to comfort her instead over the phone.

However, she shook her head at those thoughts as she focused back on to what Sebastian was saying. She could admit she was curious as to how he was still single after all this time. She thought he would have been married by this time with kids as he was the most hopeless romantic deep inside and she knew his parents were eager for him to settle down. Back in high school, his mom especially had no problem in setting up their future and she still remembered the cold shoulder she received especially from his mother after she broke up with him.

So she was highly curious at what his mother especially was going to think he was having lunch with his ex-girlfriend that broke his heart who was pregnant by another man out of wedlock. Nevertheless, her thoughts were broken by Sebastian who gave a curious glance passed her shoulder and said, "Gemma Teller is making her way over here."

Before Delilah could reply the biker matriarch was standing at their table with a smile on her face that Delilah couldn't exactly decipher, "I knew that was you. How are you feeling sweetheart?"

Delilah gave Gemma a polite smile in regards to the current news she wasn't sure how much longer she could keep this from Jax's mother, "I'm good, really. The baby is as well."

Gemma gave her a smile in return, "I'm happy to hear that." Gemma turned her head as if she just became aware of the third party to their conversation pushed down her sunglasses slightly, "Is that Sebastian Fields? Didn't you two used to date?"

Sebastian gave her a smile with a slight nod, but Delilah answered verbally trying to read off the look on Gemma's face as she eyed them, "Yes, we did."

"You the father?" Gemma asked bluntly skipping past pleasantries causing Sebastian to slightly choke on his sip of pop while Delilah looked at Gemma shocked.

"No, he isn't," Delilah stated firmly while she wondered exactly what was going through Gemma's mind to even ask that question, but Gemma's interrogation was interrupted by a server calling her name.

Gemma pursed her lips and slid up her sunglasses, "Hmm, well I need to take all this food back to the boys they are coming back from a run. I plan on having a dinner this weekend and I hope to see you there sweetheart."

"I'll bring dessert," Delilah swiftly replied.

"Enjoy the rest of your lunch," Gemma said departing and grabbing her food.

"I didn't know you were  _that_  friendly with them still."

Delilah narrowed her eyes at Sebastian at the disgust that laced his voice, "My uncle is close friends with Gemma and her family and they never done wrong by me."

"Come on, Deli, you know they aren't any good to this town. We are lucky we have people like David to not turn a blind eye to them."

Delilah didn't say anything in reply but took a sip of her cranberry juice.

* * *

Gemma sat in the office of TM knowing she had the right amount of ammunition to see if her suspicions about Delilah Carmine and Jax were right. She tried to ignore finding the baby magazine in her son's house. She tried with all her might because besides his cagey behavior at the family dinner she had no concrete evidence linking him to being Delilah's baby father. She couldn't damn well make a paternity case with a goddamn magazine. However, she had already formulated a plan in her head and seeing Delilah with Sebastian Fields man she had something to back up her plan.

She could recall slightly Delilah and Sebastian back when Delilah was in high school. She remembered a view times the guys taking little jabs at the boy if he picked up Delilah from the shop. She could say she was actually shocked when Delilah broke ties with the boy. They weren't like Jax and Tara, thank the lord, but they seemed stable. She could tell the boy thought the world of Delilah, and how he was looking at her at the diner he still did. It reminded her of how Jax thought of Tara, but they weren't so damn ferocious. Although she suspected it was because of Delilah's laidback state they didn't last. Thinking about it, she should have suspected it to inevitable end because really Delilah didn't seem all that invested in the relationship.

Gemma knew there was this whole different side to Delilah. Her parents' fate messed up that girl more than she let on. She hoped and prayed that girl didn't end up like her mother. This pregnancy though reminded her exactly of Lily with keeping their pregnancy under wraps.

Gemma's attention was broken by the sound of her son's voice coming closer and she immediately grabbed on the baby magazine's she took from the store and made herself look interested in it.

"Hey, Ma," Jackson greeted giving her a kiss, "Thanks for the food. Although I do prefer a home cooked meal."

"I'll remember that for Sunday," Gemma replied turning her attention back to her magazine.

She saw in the corner of her eye Jax squint at the magazine, "What you looking through that for?"

Gemma feigning innocence gently closed the magazine and placed it on the desk, "Well with Delilah Carmine being pregnant I thought I might look at some things. See if she needed help with anything."

Jax slightly nodded his head, but his eyes held a skeptical look, "I'm sure she will appreciate it."

"Yeah, pregnancy seems to fit her well. I saw her and Sebastian Fields, that boy she used to date; they looked real chummy during lunch. I wonder if he is the dad."

Gemma eyed her son and saw the subtle tick of his jaw, but other than that he didn't give much away which gave it all away.

* * *

Delilah was getting ready to go home for the day as Jax had texted her and asked if she could stop by when Lyla popped her head into the office.

"So what are you having?" Lyla asked excited.

Delilah dug into her purse for the sonogram she was going to give Jax and showed Lyla. "It seems he is going to take after his father."

Lyla squealed and gave her a hug. "So the dad is in the picture?"

Delilah sighed. "He's trying to be."

Lyla noticed the frown. "Wait…what's that for?"

"The dad…doesn't have the most conventional lifestyle. I'm just trying to see what would be best for our kid."

"Well he wants to be there…he's trying…that's more than most guys."

Delilah gave her a sad smile as she knows that when Lyla was pregnant with Piper, the father did not claim responsibility at all, and Lyla never even bothered putting the man on the birth certificate.

"It's hard being a mom." Lyla began. "I don't think people will admit it, but it is… knowing a small tiny human being relies on you knowing what's best for them. It's haunting and scary, but when he's older, he'll know you tried when it came to the father with whatever happens."

"I think you're a good mom, Lyla."

Lyla gave her a sad smile. "I try to be."

* * *

Delilah walked up to Jax's house where she was confused on why he decided to meet here although she suspected with the nature of their talk they should be somewhere more private. Before she could even put her hand to knock on the door it was opened by Jax who immediately welcomed her in.

"Hey," he greeted curtly. "I got you a sub if you're hungry."

Delilah slightly frowned as Jax seemed a little agitated, but she brushed it off to maybe being club related. "Okay, thanks." Delilah replied politely as she followed him into his kitchen. "Did everything go okay with your trip?"

Jax simply nodded his head as a reply as he sat down and began eating his sub. Delilah chewed on her bottom lip at Jax's dismissive behavior while she unwrapped her sub. "Uh…Dr. Roden said the CHD can be managed and since we caught it so early we will be more prepared for the birth if he does need a major operation." Delilah opened up just cutting to exactly why she was here. She was slightly relieved that Jax finally looked at her, but she could still see some tension.

Jax swallowed his bite of food before his replied, "That's good right plus he has the Teller blood running through his veins we don't die easy."

"Well  _that's_  reassuring," Delilah mumbled not liking that form of reassurance.

"Hey, my mom overcame it and so did I. Our son is going to be a fighter and I am sure he doesn't like his mom thinking this way." Jax said giving her a smile.

Delilah couldn't help the tinting of her cheeks at Jax's words for some reason. She thought it was because of how low and husky it sounded, but she distracted herself with a napkin, "Dr. Roden said if we have any questions we can schedule an appointment if that is what you want."

"Nah, this thing runs in the family. I am familiar with it. I am pretty sure we can agree that when he is born just operate on him now to prevent any further complications and he will be on meds probably like my mom," Jax responded giving her a frown as he played with his bottle cap.

Delilah nodded her head and the kitchen was engulfed in silence as they ate some of their food. Delilah was squirming internally as she couldn't quite become comfortable as she used to be. She knew something was bothering Jax then she remembered she had something to give him that might cheer up is mood. "Oh here," Delilah said going through her purse handing him an envelope, "It is a new sonogram picture." Delilah informed him as he took it out and she couldn't help but smile at the way his eyes seemed to brighten a little at the picture.

"Ha, he takes after his old man." He said eyeing the appendage determining his sex.

Delilah rolled her eyes. "I also thought of a name that I am kinda set on."

Jax eyebrows rose slightly at this news, "What name you thinking about?"

"Abel Nathaniel Carmine," Delilah said with a smile not even realizing how Jax became tense again until he set down the picture on the table with a slight slam. "What's wrong?"

"Abel Nathaniel  _Carmine_ ," Jax repeated disdainfully. "How about Abel Nathaniel  _Teller_? What the fuck, you plan on not giving the kid my last name?"

Delilah frowned as she replied, "If it is such a problem we can do Carmine-Teller."

"Fuck that noise," Jax practically shouted as he got up from the table. His blue eyes darken in anger.

Delilah was somewhat confused on why Jax was getting so worked up about this so  _easily._ She didn't know if she should be worried about this display of anger, "Jax can you calm down so we can discuss this." Delilah suggested but it seemed Jax ignored her as he ranted.

"What gave you the right to just get to claim all of this shit like I have no say in my son's last name? That is  _my_  blood you're carrying."

"Jax, I'm sorry, I didn't realize…" Delilah started as she tried to search for some words to placate him, but they seemed to be the wrong ones, "but we are not together and it is not legal for me to give  _our_ son  _your_  last name."

"So what I don't get a say in this?"

"I'm not saying that," Delilah snapped back as she tried to process how it got hostile in his kitchen.

"Well to me it seems like you already had it decided like I have no say or right in my son's life," Jax replied as he dug in his pockets for his packet of cigarette.

"Jax, you are really blowing this out of proportion and please could you not smoke with me in here or go by a window."

"Why? You going to keep me from my kid?" He challenged.

Delilah shook her head and got up from the table abandoning eating her sub. She had officially lost her appetite. "God, what is wrong with you? If you are just going to act like an asshole I am leaving." Delilah said hoping Jax would at least apologize for his rude behavior, but all she got was an angry stare.

Delilah went to leave but she couldn't help but turn around and look at Jax who was watching her with narrow eyes now she was tensed and pissed off. "I don't know what your problem is, but if anyone has the right to be mad it is me when you are so gung ho about being a  _father_ you couldn't even make it to a fucking doctor's appointment. So sorry I don't want my son to be let down by his father when he bails on him maybe having a different last name would save him from that." Delilah knew it was a low blow to say that, but she didn't really care. If she were being honest with herself that wasn't even the reason why she didn't intend on giving Abel Jax's last name she just didn't necessarily think about it or really considered how Jax felt.

Jax leaned against his kitchen counter the search for a cigarette abandoned, "I am telling you right now Delilah no other man is taking over the role of father to my kid," Jax stated menacingly.

Delilah looks at him with wide confused eyes as if he gone mental. "Jax what the fuck are you talking about?"

"I am talking about Sebastian Fields. You fucking him?"

Delilah's eyes nearly bulged out of her eye sockets at Jax's accusation. She didn't even know how to properly respond and she hoped Sebastian was not the cause of Jax's anger because someone obviously gave him faulty information and who was he even talking to about her in the first place. There was just too much anger to even navigate this tantrum that Jax seemed to be throwing. However, it didn't help much that Delilah was being evasive and egged it on, "That is none of your business."

Jax let out a condescending laugh, "It ain't my business? If you haven't noticed that is my kid in your stomach and I will be damned if you think it is okay to be fucking another man like a fucking whore."

It was instant as Delilah brought her hand up and slapped him across the face. She couldn't help the tears that sprung from her eyes from his harsh words. As if seeing her tears, it flipped a switch in Jax and she immediately backed away from him when he tried to reach out and apologize, "Don't touch me, you fucking asshole." Delilah shouted. "If I recall you're the one fucking croweaters and porn stars." Delilah gave him one last look of disgust before walking out of his house wiping the tears away from her eyes.


	7. Explanations

Jax knew he fucked up the minute the words left his mouth and he felt like a major asshole. All that anger immediately evaporated by the look on Delilah's face as tears sprung from the corners of her eyes. He knew what he said couldn't be taken back. The slapped she gave him paled in comparison with how she recoiled from him when he went to apologize. He felt like he couldn't breathe as she stormed out the house ignoring him as he called at to her.

It didn't help when he went out to his lawn his usually dormant neighbors were now all outside or peeking through their blinds being fucking nosy. He didn't need their accusing glares after they seemed to not even care when he was living with Wendy. Plus, it made him feel even more like shit that they obviously heard his and Delilah's argument.

He knew he took it overboard and he had no grounds to talk to his mother of his child that way. He didn't know why he even let his anger get the best of him. He didn't even have any right to be angry.

He shouldn't have let gossip and alcohol fuel him. At first, he didn't really take any weight to his mom's words about seeing Delilah and Sebastian even though hearing it he felt a pinch in his chest and he swore it had to be anything but jealously. But his mom's words didn't upset him too much. He knew his mom sometimes overthought things and she sometimes made assumptions that could be just plain wrong. Plus, the last time he checked Delilah was single and Rosie quickly backed that up when he slyly brings up Delilah with her.

It was just afterwards when he went to get dinner when he heard in the restaurant other people talking about Sebastian and Delilah at Hanna's Diner. People were speculating that he may be the father or how could he possibly consider raising someone else's child especially someone who dumped him back in high school.

That got Jax thinking real hard as he shifted through his memories or anything about Delilah and this Sebastian Fields. The whole Fields family was arrogant pricks. It didn't help that they were technically related to the Hales as Sebastian's mother, Vivian, was David Hale's aunt. That whole bloodline was a pain in all of the Son's asses. So right there Jax was peeved just on that fact. So now, as he shifted through that he clearly remembered that Sebastian was Delilah's steady boyfriend all throughout high school. He actually recalled a view times catching those two sucking face and for some reason his mind highlighted the way Sebastian looked at Delilah. He could recall a similar facial expression on his face as he looked at Tara.

Then it seemed like a mini movie went off in his head of Sebastian and Delilah. Although he could blame it were those latent projections he felt for some time towards Tara and what would happen if she were to ever come back. He knew that pull of a first love. How it consumed you and made you want to eat a bullet with the mere suggestion of a separation. A part of him knew that Sebastian could overlook Delilah being pregnant if he knew that the kid would end up calling him daddy. He hated that he knew that was true because for a time he knew if he or Tara were in that situation they could overlook it. He just knew in his gut, Sebastian would try to worm his way into his family and Jax wasn't having any of that shit.

He didn't know why he even let those thoughts fester in his head and cause him fury. He knew he should have been a man and an adult and just asked Delilah instead of blowing up at her. That was the original plan, but of course he decided to take a few sips of his friend Jack. However, he remembered that phone call and hearing some voices in the background and how defensive Delilah became when he questioned her about her company. He knew it was hypocritical of him to ask when a sweetbutt entertained him orally prior to the phone call, but she was pregnant with his son.

Then she arrived at his house looking beautiful as she always did. No makeup on and just in a simple grey V-neck t-shirt with some weird pattern designed leggings on. He hated that he found her attractive and how he wanted to take her plump bottom lip in-between his teeth. How his hands itch to run over her smooth skin or inhale her jasmine scent that invaded his senses and that lingered on his clubhouse pillow after their night.

However when she started to tell him about the CHD, that anger subsided and he realized he was being immature about it all and he was going to voice his concerns about her seeing someone as he was looking at the picture of his growing son when she mentioned their son's name. He honestly liked the name, but then he registered the last name.

He knew he blew it all out of proportion in attacking her the way he did. Maybe it was because of his ego mainly that his son wouldn't possibly have his name. He honestly thought that it was a given and no brainer his son would have his last name. It just didn't help his anger even more when she tried to explain her reasoning because it just made him even more pissed that she didn't think it was a big deal.

He thought maybe it was deep rooted insecurity that she would leave him and take their child with her. He knew it was an extreme, but Delilah had fucking wormed her way inside him and in that moment he fucking hated it. After he threw that accusation out there that she would keep their son from them, how she went to storm out and stopped he knew he wasn't going to like what he would hear.

He felt and saw her frustration with him at that point for his rudeness to her. He knew she had every right to throw it in his face about him missing the appointment, but then she had to add on she already suspected he would be a deadbeat father. After that his world was clouded in anger and before he knew it he had basically all but said and accused the mother of his son was a whore.

Jax slapped his empty beer bottle that was on the table not caring where it landed or the debris that was shattered over the kitchen floor. He didn't know how long he was standing in his desolate kitchen before he grabbed his keys and his hoodie and got on his bike.

* * *

 

Before Jax knew it, he had parked his bike in front of Delilah's house. The whole neighborhood was very quiet and he even peeked over to his best friend's house that was coated in darkness not even a reflection of a TV glowing through the curtains. The only light in the neighborhood were of the streetlight that seemed to make a point to really highlight the Carmine house.

Jax also just realized he didn't even contemplate that Donovan could be home, but luckily he wasn't.

Jax walked up to the door and tested his luck and turned the door knob and he was both glad and irked that the door was unlocked as it creaked to let him in.

Jax closed the door and swiftly turned the locks. The house was eerily quiet and as he traveled down the hallway he soon heard the occasional sniffle and he knew it was Delilah and he felt even more of an asshole for making her cry.

He opened the door and entered the room and was greeted with emerald green walls. The room was bare only a dresser and a mirror hung above it. Since it was dark he only could see frames to some pictures. He was ultimately shocked to see how bare the room was. His keen eyes settled upon the full bed that was in the middle of the room illuminated by the moonlight that was seeping through from the curtain being disturbed by the open window.

If it wasn't for the sniffles he wouldn't even have suspected Delilah to be in the room with how small her frame was hidden beneath her silver comforter. The only indication he knew it was her was from her blonde hair that was peeking out from the edge of her cover.

"I'm fine, Uncle, it's just the hormones," he heard her mumble from underneath her cover.

Jax swallowed the lump in his throat and clenched the doorknob that was still in his grip tighter, "It's not Donovan."

Jax felt the air leave his lungs as he saw Delilah go still underneath the protection of her blanket. She didn't even make a move to even look at him. He slowly closed the door and the click of the latch echoed in the room like a gunshot. He quietly, but loudly to him, walked over to her bed and placed his keys and rings on her nightstand while he took off his white sneakers.

Delilah didn't make no move or shift in the bed and he tried to not deflate at the obvious disregard of him. He pulled off his SAMCRO hoodie and slide underneath the cover and slid in besides her. It was awkward and clumsy as Jax tried to settle into the bed as Delilah refused to shift her position. However, when he placed his hand beneath her and extended his other hand over her to the place that encased what connected them, she melted into him.

The movement was like a shock to him as she slid more into him.

He almost couldn't breathe as her small frame pressed closer into him. His hand now enclosed fully over the small bump while she brushed against the roughness of his jeans. She was so close his lips could press against her silky hair.

They both didn't say anything.

They mulled in the silence that surrounded them as the room turned even darker.

By then his arm had grown numb and he shifted placing his arm underneath her head and griping her tighter into him like she was his only lifeline. The new position brought them closer. He knew his breath was brushing against her neck as he could see the hair near become displaced. He saw the silver chain that was wrinkled on her neck. He knew she felt the beating of his heart that was slightly racing against her back.

She still didn't say anything.

If it was possible, Jax held her tighter – closer, "I'm sorry," he breathed into her hair that smelt like lavender. Only then does she seem to even acknowledge him as he felt her go still. He can faintly see her long eyelashes flutter in the darkness before he had to lean back as she shifted to face him. Her belly pressed between them.

He wished it wasn't so dark so he could see what color of green her eyes had taken, but nothing could hide the puffiness and what he knew were the red rims he caused. He quickly cupped her cheek and his thumb caressed her damp cheek and he felt like the biggest jerk. "I'm sorry," he said again.

"Are you?" Her voice was quiet and he can tell it was skeptical.

"Yeah," Jax said nodding his head. "I am… I didn't mean any of it."

"Then why did you say it?"

Jax exhaled a deep breath and he turned to lay flat on his back as he stared into the dark abyss that was her ceiling. In the corner of his eyes he saw that she had decided to sit up and face him. He appreciated that she made no move to turn on the light. He thought it was better they had the lights off and how easier it was just to be raw in the dark with nothing highlighting it. He also itched for a cigarette but he knew that wasn't going to happen.

"I…I was just upset and paranoid."

"So that gave you the right to call me a whore?"

"You're not a whore and I should have never even said or implied it. I'm sorry I was such a jackass."

Jax waits for the slap or another explosion, but it's quiet for a few seconds before she sighs.

"Why were you upset and paranoid?"

Jax ran a hand through his hair down to his face. He could feel her eyes on him and he knew he had to tell her to hopefully dig himself out of this hole. He wasn't used to having to explain himself to a woman anymore and somehow it felt calming because he knew she really cared for his answer. "I heard about how you were at Hanna's with that Fields boy you used to date and it just got me thinking irrationally about how he might try to raise my kid and my thoughts just got out of hand and then on top of that you come over and tell me you aren't even going to give our son my last name. I know I may have been an ass about that, but that fucking hurt Del and you made it seem like it wasn't even a big deal." Jax said his voice slightly becoming raised at the last part.

"I'm sorry about the last name issue. I feel like now is not a good time to discuss it, but I know it was inconsiderate of me on that, but Sebastian and I did have lunch but it is nothing Jax. I didn't like the insinuation I am  _fucking_  another guy."

"Are you seeing him though?" Jax asked for clarification.

"No, Jax," Delilah said exasperated as she rolled her eyes at him. "God I didn't take you for the type to be jealous. If you haven't notice I am pregnant with  _your_  kid. You have nothing to be jealous of."

Jax couldn't help but have a satisfied smirk on his face at Delilah's words, but it soon turned to a frown at her next words, "How could you think I would just cut you out of your son's life. I am not cruel like that Jax."

Jax shrugged his shoulders. "I was just angry and being stupid. I know I don't live a straight and narrow life, Del, I'm not stupid. It would be easy just to up and leave and take my kid with you without even a second glance."

Jax was forced to look into Delilah's direction as she cupped his cheek her voice soft, "I would never take your son away from you Jax in spite."

He knew it was not the right time to breach the illegal club aspect of his life, but he could help but lean into Delilah's touch and placed a small kiss on her palm and he didn't even registered the intimacy of that simple act and for a moment he thought this would just be a blip on their radar, but as soon as she removed her hand and took a deep breath he knew it wasn't exactly  _over_.

"Jackson what you said and how you said it was uncalled for and if you expect me to just be fine with that behavior from you, you are in for a rude wake up call. I am the mother of your son, Jackson, not one of those skanky girls who litter around at your club to boss around. What you said was hurtful and I am still a little hurt. I don't want to drag this out and blame the hormones, but it's not okay to talk to me like that."

Delilah turned around and settled back down on the bed. He thought that was his queue to leave, but she quickly settled back into him like a puzzle piece and pulled the blanket over them. She grabbed his hand intertwined with hers and placed it on her small, but growing bump.

Jax couldn't help the small smile that took over his face as he placed a small kiss on her bare shoulder.

Looking at her small frame, he thought about how he never done this for another girl, never chased after them.

Then he thought about the whirlwind of emotions since Delilah. How she constantly invaded his mind. How he was glad she would be the mother of his son and he was excited about what the future would be for both of them.

He knew he had fallen and the only thing he could do was to make sure he never let her go.

* * *

 

Jax's eyes sprung open and for a moment he was confused to his surroundings as he looked up at the white ceiling in the room, but when he heard a sigh next to him and he became aware of the weight pressed against him. Turning his head, Delilah was pressed against his side and her arm was draped across his torso. Sometime during the night they shifted positions with Jax laying on his back and Delilah snuggled into him only her small bump providing some space between them.

Jax admired Delilah as she slept as seemed to look fully content buried into his side. Her blonde hair was splayed over his shoulder and it exposed her neck and collarbone. This was his perfect chance to fully appreciate her unabashed. He noticed how long and dark her eyelashes were compared to her light color hair. His eyes immediately zoned down to her lips especially the bottom lip that was bigger than the top. How it was such a light shade of pink and he had the urge to softly trace it over with his thumb.

One thing that he thought he found himself to be strangely attracted to was her collarbone. She wasn't stick bone thin that he really didn't find attractive in women. Delilah had ample curves something he knew he appreciated and showed attention to on that night. The only thing that were a little on the small side were her breasts but they fitted perfectly in the palm of his hands. However, her collarbone just stood out to him and he had the urge to mark the area with his lips. Her legs also stood out to him. He always paid attention to her tan tone legs ever since she was in high school and he recalled her workout gear she wore for her sports practices.

Jax's attention to Delilah was broken when he felt a vibration on his leg and he knew that was what woke him up. Jax took his free hand and dug into his pocket and took out his phone.

"Shit," Jax mumbled as he had five missed calls and he saw the time. He was thirty minutes late for his shift at TM and he knew it was his mother. Jax looked down at Delilah and he carefully extracted himself from her and let out a relieved breathe that she didn't wake up and just buried her head into his abandon pillow.

He carefully slid on his sneakers and hoodie. He was sliding on his rings when he knew he couldn't just leave without telling Delilah but he didn't want to wake her from what seemed like a good sleep. He quickly took a scan of her room and he was able to fully take intake of it now since there was light to highlight some things he missed in the dark, but she had a dry erase board on the wall where he quickly scribbled down a note.

Jax walked back over to Delilah and brought up the covers to her shoulders and gave a quick kiss to her temple and he quietly made his way out the way.

Jax was too distracted by making a quick escape and wasn't aware of his surroundings until he nearly jumped out of his skin and almost out of instinct went to grab his gun that he realized he didn't even have on him when a surly voice broke the silence and his tread.

"I fucking knew it."


	8. Doubts

Jax turned around to find Donovan Carmine looking at him with that permanent scowl on his face. In his haste to make a quick escape before his mom called out a search party, he forgot all about the other Carmine that lived in the house that would have no problem in murdering him. So maybe the search party  _was_  a good idea.

Jax walked further into the living room and sat in the farthest seat away from Donovan who had a coffee mug firmly gripped in his meaty palm that no doubt contained a special alcoholic concoction. For a minute, he thought either that cup was going to break by Donovan's firm grip or it would be shatter by hitting his own head.

"You should be more mindful of where you park your bike. However, I had my suspicions for a while. Knew one of you would cross that line – only would make sense for it to be  _you_." Donovan said taking a quick sip of liquid from his mug.

Jax just sat quiet ignoring the persistent buzz of his phone as he tried to figure out how to navigate this situation. Give him the pressure of handling a gun deal with the IRA or hostile gang, but now having to deal with an irate father figure to his baby's mother had him feeling like a dog with its tail between their legs. "You should answer that. We are going to be here awhile." Donovan muttered while Jax took out his phone, "Ma –"

" _Where the hell are you, Jackson!"_ Gemma barked on the other end.

Jax felt his ears go pink. "Ma, I'm caught up in some-"

" _Caught up in what?"_ Gemma interrupted angrily.

"Ma, I can't talk right now. I will be there in an hour," Jax quickly snapped his phone shut and put his phone on silent knowing his mother would be persistent in calling him.

Donovan did not even seem phased by the interruption and quickly asked his first question, "So whose idea was it to keep it quiet?"

Jax sighed and leaned back against the couch feeling like he was a teenager being scolded or meeting the parents for the first time, "We collectively agreed on it together."

"For the whole 18 weeks?"

"I only found out a couple weeks ago myself and it was completely by accident," Jax said. The blond biker watched Donovan's eyebrows rise slightly along with the pensive look that came across his tired face. Jax felt like he was missing something from the picture. "Okay, are you going to slug me in the face or what? Am I missing something?" Jax asked with an edge in his tone.

"You know it is taking everything in me  _not_  to put a nice shiner on that pretty boy face of yours but I learned it ain't so pretty to upset a pregnant lady because I take it that's why you came over here and spent the night." Donovan pointed out quite smugly. "I should slug you for having her getting all worked up last night."

Jax visibly grimaced at the reminder of what happened between him and Delilah last night. He leaned forward and slouched over with his elbows resting on his knees. "Look, obviously this wasn't planned, but I am taking responsibility for what's mine." Jax affirmed looking Donovan straight in the eye.

"Oh really?" The waned boxer said incredulously. "Because I find that hard to believe when you are already missing doctor appointments," Donovan said haughtily and Jax' nostrils flare. "You can't deny it already missing important stuff from  _club_  business."

"Oh don't act like you are above the club. You are there every weekend with Piney getting free range of the booze and pussy," Jax countered back hotly.

"That's right and I know all the shit you guys do. Why don't you think Delilah didn't tell you about the kid in the first place?"

That fire in Jax's eye receded and that insecurity and those thoughts in the beginning of why Delilah had seemed to make no move to tell him crept back in him. He didn't know if it was Donovan's goal to plant those seeds of doubt in his head especially considering Delilah was still hurt by what he said to her. She told him that she wouldn't take his son away from him out of spite, but did that even still matter if for a time she wasn't even going to tell him in the first place.

"Look, my niece ain't stupid or air-headed like fucking Wendy who was swept up by the glamour and privilege of being with the VP of a motorcycle club. She ain't Tara where she is going to ignore such a blatant part of your life and live in ignorance until it doesn't suit her anymore. She knows what you guys do, Jax. It's not like it's a secret. She knows about the girls and I know she has an inkling about the guns, but she doesn't know the extent of it. You catching my drift boy?"

Jax nodded his head. He knew Delilah worried about the club. She didn't exactly say it in so many words, but the few times she did, he knew she had them. He really knew after him missing this doctor appointment, it really probably made her wonder about how his role and responsibilities with the club would clash with his role and responsibilities as a father.

"I can't be upset with what happened, Jax. It's done and we have to deal with it, but I can be upset with where we go from here and how you handle it. You and me both know Wendy was a fluke. So your last relationship was what 10 years ago." Jax went to interject him and Delilah were not in a relationship, but Donovan shut him off quickly, "Don't bullshit me. I know the only reason ya'll ain't together is because she sprouted what happen was only a one-time thing am I right." Jax couldn't help the faint blush that took over his cheeks as he nodded. "See I can admit my family has some good genes and my niece is quite a catch and obviously there was some attraction for you two to sleep together. It's only bound to happen." Donovan told him with a scowl on his face.

Jax watched a flash of emotions flash across Donovan's face and he almost looked in pain before he set his mug down on the end table next to him and rubbed a hand down his haggard face. "Look, son, am I slightly miffed yeah, but just take care of her Jackson."

"I will, sir," Jax said.

Donovan looked at him as if he was searching for some lie, doubt, or anything to not believe him or what Jax would later come to realize was trust for him to take care of his family. Donovan simply nodded his head ending the conversation, "You better go before your mom sends out the brigade looking for your ass."

Jax nodded his head and got up from the couch when Donovan's voice called back out to him, "John would be proud of you. I wish he was here to experience this with us. You'll make a great father, Jax. If anything… don't doubt that."

* * *

 

Delilah woke up feeling rested and content. It was the best sleep she got in a while and it caused her to bury her face deeper into the pillow she was cradling when a distinct smell wafted in her nostrils and everything hit her foggy mind like a freight train.

She remembered brushing past her Uncle who she almost knocked over when he was leaving the house while she could admit she was slightly hysterical. She suspected her crying was heightened because of her pregnancy hormones. She didn't know how long she was crying underneath the comfort of her blanket when he actually came to her house.

She did not expect for him to follow her back to her house at all.

Hearing his voice, the air was expelled from her lungs. She didn't know even know how to function especially when she heard him make his way to her bed. It wasn't out of anger that she didn't make no move for him to slide in next to her, it was she was flabbergasted he was there. And she hated how her body easily molded with his. How she settled in the warmth he provided and she hated how the tingling feeling she got in her heart when his hand laid protectively over her belly- over their child.

However, when he said sorry, she remembered why she was crying in the first place and why he was there. She could admit she did not like how he verbally attacked her instead of talking to her like an adult. She guessed she could categorize this as one of their first fights and it was her first brush with Jax's temper.

Like she told him she was still upset for how he addressed her and a tiny part of her was a little flattered he was indeed a little jealous and she knew he didn't even realize that as he didn't even deny it.

However, one thing that was sticking out right now was where exactly was he? Delilah looked around the room when she spotted his chicken scratch on her dry erase board telling her he had to go to work and he would call her later. Delilah bit her bottom lip as she tried to fight off the smile that somehow seemed plastered on her face for a reason she couldn't comprehend.

Delilah looked at the clock and realized she really oversleep as it was 10 minutes from 10 and she was lucky she didn't have to work this Friday as it was her day off. Delilah grabbed her phone and before she could contemplate on it too hard she sent a quick text to Jax wishing him a good day at work before she left her room to head into the kitchen to feed her hungry belly.

Delilah rummaged through the cupboards and refrigerator for the materials to make French toast that she almost dropped the eggs when her Uncle's voice broke through her movements, "Hey sweetheart. You slept in."

"Yeah, I must be more tired than I thought," Delilah replied.

"Hmm, I thought you might have just added something new to your bed." He said in a cheery voice.

"What?" Delilah questioned confused.

"I swore you said you needed new pillows or something," her uncle continued to mumble on.

"I don't remember discussing  _pillows_  with you." She said with furrowed brows.

"Maybe it wasn't pillows but I know it had something to do with the baby," her Uncle continue to mutter.

"Are you drunk?" Delilah accused as she eyed.

"Why don't you tell me because I know I wasn't hallucinating when Jackson Teller walked out of  _your_  bedroom this morning?"

Delilah's green eyes widen and she knew she couldn't even deny it. "Yeah, sweetheart, the DNA results are out of the bag and I find myself wondering when _you_  made an appearance in Jax Teller's bed."

Delilah placed the eggs on the counter and that smile on her face was instantly gone as she knew she had some explaining to do. "It just happened. I don't know what you want me to say."

"Horseshit," Donovan exclaimed.

"Well, it's the truth. It's not like I was aiming to be a notch on Jax's belt or even get pregnant, sometimes things just happen."

"So his dick just happened to nut in you?" Her uncle replied crudely.

"There is no need for you to be so crass," Delilah said with a pinch of disgust for his choice of words, "If you can't talk to me like a civilized adult than we are not having this conversation." Delilah informed him as she went back to making breakfast.

Donovan watched his niece completely ignore him. He wasn't that upset – well maybe he was more upset than he was allowing himself to be. It wasn't that his niece was pregnant that irked him. It didn't really bother him terribly since she was responsible and she was 24 years old. She wasn't a freaking baby anymore. She was an adult and responsible for the choices that made.

It was just that she got pregnant by Jackson Teller. There were a lot of obligations and responsibilities that came with him and now on top of that she was carrying an heir to a throne that he knew despite anything would be groomed for that little boy inside her belly.

He just didn't want to see his niece get hurt. A part of him knew he should be more worried about Jax hurting her by not keeping his dick in his pants, but he knew Jax could be faithful. Hell, Jax was faithful to Tara. He knew Jax would give some attention to other girls when he and Tara were fighting like any regular teenage couple, but Jax looked at Tara like the sun shone out of her ass. Hell, he witnessed it a view times with Sebastian and Delilah although Sebastian never got the result he wanted. Donovan knew or he hoped he had nothing to worry about there.

However, he was worried about the club hurting her.

Donovan tolerated Clay. He really did and he had love and respect for Gemma, but damn he had his suspicions. Piney always told him to let it go, but he was just too damn curious in wanting to know why John was afraid when he died. Why John handed him a manuscript to guard with his life. He knew that fucking manuscript that burned his palms every time he leafed through it would cause a lot of problems.

Donovan sighed as he tried to think of the positives. History was history, and this was particularly dead history. Plus, the club seemed to not have been ruffling any feathers too bad. Donovan placed a hand on his niece's shoulder, "I'm sorry. I am just worried about you kid, a lot of responsibilities when it comes to Jax."

"Well Jax and I are not together. We are focusing on the baby." She preached.

Donovan snorted and earned a glare from his niece that caused him to put his hands up in surrender, "Still you're involved in his life now since you're carrying the Teller bloodline. From my talk with him you seemed to have not discussed that leather he wears."

"Oh my god, you talked to him? Tell me you didn't do anything stupid." Delilah said as she hid her face in the palm of his hands.

"No, I didn't hit him like I wanted because I knew it would only piss you off, but we came to an understanding. So I'm totally zen, really," Donovan drawled, "besides I think you should be more worried about Gemma," Donovan quipped as he refilled his coffee mug and went back to the living room, "and I would appreciate some cinnamon on my French toast too."

* * *

 

To say Gemma was pissed would be an understatement. She was fucking livid with her son. After he decided to not only come into work almost two hours late, he had the audacity to try and brush it off like it wasn't any of her goddamn concern about where he was.

It didn't help matters that she drove over to his house where his presence was fucking missing to see his goddamn kitchen a mess with a shattered beer bottle busted all over his floor. And the cherry on type of that scenery was the leather vest that was hung up on the coat rack.

When her son finally waltzed his ass onto TM, she had the nerve to bring up what she discovered at his house, but she thought it was best to keep her mouth firmly shut despite wanting to rip her son a new asshole. She thought that would be best to do behind closed doors. Her son was a patch and all.

Now thinking about it, clearly the broken bottle was one-sided and her son must have been pissed at something or someone and that person clearly must have took off because there was no sign of a struggle.

That was the only reason she didn't call the cavalry and her theory was burning blatantly clear that someone was Delilah fucking Carmine.

Gemma decided she was going to confront her son tonight. There wasn't like she had anything to lose with the accusation of him knocking up someone. He only would have to deal with the wrath of him and Delilah keeping it a secret from her.

In that clearer part of her mind that wasn't so pissed off at her son she preferred this situation over Wendy any day.

So for now she was going to do a little grocery shopping for the dinner she invited Delilah too and just figure out her next move of action if she indeed was a grandma. However, she knew it was easier said than done.

Gemma was walking idly down the aisle too busy concerned about her own business when her ears perked up at the mention of her son's name and she could feel the discreet glances in her direction. Gemma by now was used to people whispering about her. It came with the territory. She was throwing food in her cart when she nearly groaned aloud when she came upon Miss Double Penetration. She hoped the little porn tart wasn't resorting to following her around now since Jax apparently dumped her ass.

"Hey, Gemma, I'm –"

"I know who you are," Gemma interrupted as she eyed the blonde hussy. Gemma didn't care for porn stars, but God she wished they would take a page out of Luann's book and dress like proper ladies.

Ima was clearly taken back by her abrupt tone.

"Can I help you with something?" Gemma asked in a softer voice, obviously the girl was approaching her for a reason.

"I was just wondering if you knew how Delilah was feeling."

"Delilah?" Gemma repeated. "Why? What's wrong?"

"Well she wasn't in work today with her being pregnant and all, I was just worried."

"She's pregnant. She probably gave herself the day off. If you're that concerned just buy her a card." Gemma said flippantly. Gemma went to move her cart, but the girl's next words stopped her.

"You know the baby has CHD. I was just worried about the kid. Sorry to bother you."

Gemma felt her own heart skip a beat as her grip tightened on the shopping cart. She abandoned her full shopping cart in the store and made her way to her car.

* * *

 

Gemma didn't even bother to knock and luck was somewhat on her side as she opened the door to her son's house to find him entering his living room with a bewildered look on his face. "Delilah Carmine is having  _your_  baby." Gemma snarled. She wasn't all that upset, but she was upset she had to have her suspicious confirmed by a fucking porn star he used to fuck.

She watched as her son's baby blue eyes widen in shock before they flitted away from her momentarily as lay landed back on her. "Shit," Gemma said as she threw her purse on the floor. A hand immediately going to her forehead, "So that was why you were late today you must have pissed her off and went over there to apologize."

Jax's eye frowned in confusion, "You spying on me now?"

Gemma quickly narrowed her eyes, "Well it turns out I might had to do some snooping here and there as I find out I am going to be a grandma at the fucking market. Whose genius idea was to keep something like this from  _me_?"

She watched her son's facial expression turn to one of annoyance as he plopped down onto his couch, "Ma, it's not a big deal."

Gemma's eyes widen in astonishment, "It's not  _a big deal?_ My only living son is about to become a father and it's not a big deal."

"Shit, ma, I didn't mean it like that." Jax said backpedaling.

"Then what did you  _mean_  it like, Jackson, because you and your baby mama have been lying to me and  _the club_  for weeks." She accused.

"This ain't club business Ma, I don't have to necessarily tell you or the club shit about this," Jax bit back harshly, but then his voice softened, "but you're being overdramatic. We were going to tell you this weekend since I now got back on good terms since was supposed to go to a doctor's, but I had that run."

Gemma pursed her lips as she eyed her son. Never had Jax kept anything of something of this magnitude a secret. The last time her son ever kept any secrets from her was when he was with that tart back in high school. Her son was easily influenced by a certain kind of pussy and it was sending warning flags in her head, but she quickly chalked it down to paranoia. Plus it wasn't like Delilah was a complete outsider. "Are you sure it's yours?"

"Jesus, Ma, of course it's mine," Jax responded insulted by her question.

"Well sorry how am I supposed to know when I didn't even know you two were even together or fucking." Gemma defended.

"We're not together. It was only a one-time thing."

"I didn't know Delilah Carmine was a one night stand kind of girl," Gemma commented flippantly and she was surprised by her son's quick response.

"Don't talk about her like that."

"Sorry," Gemma said to appease her son as she sat down on his loveseat. Now that the news was confirmed she particularly didn't know what to do with it. Of course, a part of her was excited. Even though she didn't like Wendy she subtly tried to push the whole idea of a family on them, but she was glad Wendy just wanted Jax for herself. So now, she could slightly feel better that the mother of her grandchild was someone respectable and someone she knew would be a fit mother. And despite the biker world, Gemma was somewhat still traditional, but she wanted her grandson to have a traditional family and not her son to become a weekend dad either. And, that other part of her that was not excited was scared. She didn't know if her son was ready for that role of fatherhood.

This was happening to fast after Wendy and now with Clay off handily mentioning the Mayans were trying to push on them. The timing might not be exactly right.

Speaking of Clay, she wondered how he was going to handle the news. She knew he wouldn't be thinking about it as hard as her. Hell, he would only make sure Jax didn't become a deadbeat because of the history with the Carmines. Fuck, she totally forgot about Donovan. From her son's face either he doesn't know yet or Donovan was too in shock.

"How'd you find out at the market?" Jax asked.

Gemmed huffed. "Your porn pussy came up to me and started asking about Delilah and mentioned that the baby had CHD. That's when I knew."

"How in the hell does she know?"

"You still talk to her?"

"No," Jax said with a pinched face. "The clingy act got old real quick."

"Well it must be awkward for your baby mama to have to work with her." Gemma muttered.

"Don't remind me." Jax replied and Gemma can tell her son doesn't like Delilah working at the porn studio. She filed that away for future use.

Gemma looked at her son who was smoking a cigarette looking at his blank TV screen, "You ready to become a father?"

Gemma watched as her son took a long drag of his cigarette before exhaling the smoke into his dim lit living room and looked her in the eyes, "Yeah, I am."


	9. Dinner Announcements

Gemma took one last puff of her cigarette before she got out of her car to knock on the Carmine's front door.

She promised her son that she wouldn't cause a scene even though he quickly interjected she should just leave Delilah alone. However Gemma suspected that was more because she couldn't get it out of him what he did to piss his baby's mother off.

Nevertheless, Gemma almost strangled her son when he told her that his unborn son had the family flaw and he managed to make Delilah upset.

The worried mother self-consciously ran a hand over the scar that reminded her of her Achilles' heel that caused her to lose her own brother and then her own Thomas. Gemma vowed that she would never go through something like that again. She knew because of Thomas' death that was when she may have become the fierce and overprotective towards her oldest son, but Jax was her whole world.

She prided herself in being his mother.

Despite everything, she will always be grateful and will love JT for giving her Jackson and Thomas.

JT gave her that chance to fulfill her destiny – her fate – in being a mother.

Though knowing that her own son's firstborn was plagued with the family flaw terrified her. Yes, she was already worried about how severe the diagnostic was even though Delilah was doing every too properly and proactively manage it. It was just Gemma had this feeling lately, especially with how she found herself being reminded of JT lately.

He plagued her mind more than usual.

She remembered how her first husband unraveled after Thomas' death and knowing him and her son, something like this, even if it was not life threatening, but just the emotional pull could make her son's head cloudy.

JT's flaw was he followed his emotional compass too much even with her trying to maneuver him into making the right decisions for the good of the club. However, their marriage was broken and she had started getting close to Clay. It didn't help that he left her alone to handle the emotional battle of watching their youngest son deteriorate while he chose to be in Ireland with his Irish gash he had no problem throwing in her face. By then she hated her husband.

Gemma knew she was completely overreacting and she hated when she let her mind go down there into that vault she made sure she kept secure. It was just that Jax was so much like his father and impending fatherhood would most definitely change his way of thinking. Though, she knew she was overthinking because it wasn't like Jax was second guessing Clay's reign or his grooming of him to be able to have the gavel one day.

That thought gave a smile to her face as she thought in a few years after this baby was born Jax would have his own son who would admire and idolize him as Jax done with JT.

Gemma stubbed her cigarette out and made her way out of her car. Gemma looked around the Carmine's neighborhood; she almost forgot Opie and his family lived next door. From the looks of it, it seemed no one was home. She would go over there to visit the Winston clan if they happened to return after her visit was done with Delilah, but seeing as Donna iced everyone out and it seemed Opie was keen on leaning straight due to his petite wife she decided to just let them be.

She was focused on becoming a grandmother. She suspected she would start some Old Lady training to Delilah instead of focusing on Donna who in her opinion was being a whiny bitch as she had nothing to complain about before Opie's prison sentence. She knew Opie and Donna didn't have full disclosure and that was where most of the resentment unbeknownst to the troubled couple came from.

"Well as I live and breathe, is that Gemma walking up to my doorstep? Clay know you here?" Donovan joked giving her a lecherous grin.

Gemma rolled her eyes at Donovan's words. Despite him and Clay having a strain relationship that only him, Clay, Piney, and her were aware of, Gemma and him have always remained on neutral ground. She suspected it was due to her being best friends with his sister Lily and as he would say he was making up for crushing her hopes of ever being with him as she had a small crush on him when she was younger and Gemma wouldn't deny that.

Donovan was a very handsome man despite the heavy drinking. He was also a good man and in her opinion made a very good father to Delilah. Lily was lucky to have him for a brother.

"He knows, but not the why," Gemma said and watched Donovan raise his eyebrows.

"Keeping secrets from your old man, Gem?"

"What like our kids done us? Jax and Delilah will be telling them at dinner on Sunday."

Donovan crossed his toned arms as he took in her words, "I understand having the dinner, I really do, but is it really Delilah's obligation to announce it to the whole club. Jax should do that on his own time."

"Delilah is a part of this club, now."

"She ain't no damn Old Lady, Gem. I already can see the ideas forming in your head. Hell, I can already read it over your face."

"They obviously slept with each other for a reason, Don. I just want to ensure the security of my grandson's family." Gemma said defending her motivations.

"Yeah and you will push it so these two begin a relationship when they aren't ready for it and not only do they hurt each other, but their little boy will as well. Just let figure out their shit on their own."

Gemma pursed her lips. Sometimes she hated how well Donovan knew her. Regardless of being a drunk he was too damn aware of everything that happened around him. No one could even blindside Donovan Carmine.

"Besides, your boy is already there, just have to let my niece catch up." He added on.

Gemma narrowed her eyes suspiciously, "And you're okay with this?"

Donovan looked at her incredulously, "Fuck no, but shit can't be done about it now. I have to accept it." He told her as he went over to his truck.

"Not staying here with us ladies?"

"Nah, I hear about it enough from Delilah and knowing how you are I prefer to have my sanity intact and keep the actual excitement of Delilah having a baby."

"Asshole," Gemma replied causing Donovan to grin at her. Gemma walked up closer to him her eyes serious, "How's Lily?"

"Same as always, maybe you should visit her."

Gemma scoffed, "You know me visiting ain't going to help her especially now."

Gemma used to visit Lily but soon it just became frustrating for her and Gemma's patience with her best friend was shot. Yes, she knew losing a husband was hard no matter the experience and maybe Lily would never have that closure as Niall was just declared missing. However, to Gemma, that gave Lily no excuse to check out especially when she had a little girl at home. Gemma, of course, would have had no problem in taking in Delilah, but Donovan easily took over that role as guardian.

It was best for Gemma to just think of her best friend as dead.

"I want to tell her…about Delilah and the baby, but what good does it do. It ain't going to help Delilah."

"Well Lily has always been known to being selfish and no matter what we both know it is true. She always had a knack for getting into trouble and Niall wasn't any better."

"Despite, his problems he treated my sister and Delilah right." Don said defending the man that did give him his niece.

It was left unsaid that those problems were also one of the reasons he was also missing.

"Well I think its best Delilah doesn't know about those problems. It was a messy and complicated time back then," Gemma commented.

Donovan raised his eyebrow affronted, "And  _whose_  fault was that exactly?"

Gemma didn't give Donovan a response as she turned to look away from him as he hopped in his truck she turned back to him though when he released a loud sigh, "Look, just take it easy on my niece in there and remember this is  _her_  baby. Don't try to overrun things."

"I won't, I promise," Gemma conceded.

"Alright, it was nice seeing ya Gem."

"You too, Donnie."

* * *

 

Gemma looked at the in-construction nursery impressed, although she didn't really have a set expectation. She liked the gray walls and the little décor she had so far. Gemma however felt better if the baby would be permanently at Jax's. Gemma knew it wasn't like she was going to have to fight over weekends with another grandparent, but knowing her son's family was under his roof just gave her a peace of mind.

It wasn't like Delilah and Donovan couldn't be trust. She already knew who Delilah was and Gemma didn't have to worry too much.

The only thing she really had to worry about if she did indeed want Delilah and Jax together.

In the past day, she thought about them a lot.

Delilah was a strong willed woman, smart, beautiful and independent. She was familiar with the club and she knew who Jax was. Delilah was a true improvement from Wendy and Gemma couldn't help the smirk that came across her face at all the croweaters who were going to be broken heartened. That thought immediately sobered her up because Gemma knew Delilah wasn't the one to just turn a blind eye to infidelity. Gemma knew she was going to have to somehow breach this immediately when trying to see where her son was at with Delilah romantically.

Plus, unlike most women, Delilah didn't waver in her presence. She speculated she wouldn't have to train Delilah too much in making her a good Old Lady. She would have to be subtle because of Delilah's independence and self-reliance she knew Delilah would have a slight problem of letting Jax take care of business but then again Clay could say the same thing about her.

"I like where you are going with this, you paying for all this yourself?"

"Yes and I told Jax just to focus on buying stuff for his house especially since Donna has offered to give me the kids old stuff she still has in storage."

Gemma quirked her eyebrow as they left the nursery and headed back to the living room, "Donna, isn't that charitable of her. I wasn't aware you two were all that friendly."

"It's not like we are best friends or anything."

Gemma nodded her head. She didn't think Donna really had friends at this point. "Your friend Rosie has been hanging out with Juice. I suspect that was how you and Jax…"

"Do you really want to talk about your son's sex life?" Delilah interrupted.

"Can I ask why you two decided to wait so long to announce the news?" Gemma asked as she looked around at the house that was thoroughly cleaned and smelled like a tropical forest.

"It was my idea and I just wanted to wait until Jax adjusted to the news."

Gemma nodded her head. She couldn't argue with Delilah's logic since it made sense. It seemed Delilah knew her son somewhat.

"So you and Jax-"

"He just got divorced," Delilah interjected.

"But it didn't stop you from sleeping with him," Gemma countered with a smirk on her lips.

"Yeah and I wasn't looking for a marriage proposal. I think we should just focus on the baby and you need to focus on just being grandma not matchmaker."

"So what you two just plan on co-parenting? I am telling you right now, sweetheart, you better not try some custod-"

"Stop!" Delilah shouted a hand going to her stomach. "Gemma, I can understand why you might be slightly upset, but I swear I am not going to keep my son from his father or his family. I don't appreciate being attacked for something that is not even a factor in this situation." Delilah took a deep breath before looking back at Gemma, "Now, I understand our relationship is going to slightly change as now I am giving you a grandchild, but it's not like I am incompetent or ignorant so don't treat me that way because I don't need any more stress."

Gemma's eyes immediately soften as she knew Delilah was referring to the baby having CHD. Inside, she was impressed for Delilah standing her ground against her. "You're right. I'm sorry. You know if you need anything – support – with anything."

"I know, Gemma, I know."

* * *

 

"So that's it? My mom didn't come in here gun blazing?" Jax asked skeptically as Delilah as she handed him a beer from her fridge while he leaned on the counter besides her. Jax knew his mom was going to already insert herself in being hands on with the pregnancy and despite knowing buried in her glee that she wanted to bask in, he knew his mother. She would surely be pissed off from them not revealing the news to her as soon as Delilah found out and he most certainly knew his mom would be passive aggressive as a result. "You have no need to protect my mom, if she said something out of line, I'll talk to her." Jax added on as he opened his beer.

Delilah looked at him with a raised eyebrow, her green eyes shining in mischief, "I can handle your mother Jax."

"You say that now," Jax muttered.

Despite his love for his mother, he knew she was a crazy when it came to certain things like him. He would admit he cherished his mother's guidance and advice on most things. He knew that made him a mama's boy, but one thing he did not cherish was his mom's constant opinion on his love life. He knew back when he was a teenager he had told Tara constantly to not listen to his crazy mother and not to let everything she said get to her because that was what his mother wanted was to get under her skin. So that added a source of stress in that relationship. With Wendy, he didn't know what that was because half the time his mom despised her and then some days his mom would take Wendy under her wing. He didn't even know what was worse.

"Honestly, Jax, it was fine. I am more worried about when the little guy is born how she is going to be."

"The complete definition of a doting grandmother we'll never see our own kid."

"Someone jealous he won't have his mother's undivided attention," Delilah teased as she went to walk past him, but Jax gently grabbed ahold of her wrist making her stop in front of him. He took her in as she had her hair down in loose waves with a braid acting as a headband. She seemed to have no trace of make up on and her eyes were impeccably green. She was in her signature V-neck t-shirt that emphasized her growing bump but it was hidden with her loose oversized cardigan and of course to top of her look she was wearing shorts that showed off her smooth legs.

"You okay?" Jax asked ignoring her teasing comment.

"Jax, I tol-"

"I'm talking about what happened Thursday night." Jax clarified.

He watched as her eyes flitted away from him as she bit her bottom lip to gather her thoughts before she looked back at him seriously, "Just don't ever talk to me like that again and there won't be a problem."

Before Jax was able to comprehend he found himself being brought into a hug as her jasmine scent invaded his senses. Delilah's body easily molded against his as his body instantly reacted and his arms found themselves wrapping around her shoulder blade as his other hand found the back of her head.

They hadn't been this close since that night and Jax found his body stirring just from an act this simple. Those feelings he had been jumping around made his hold tighten for a fraction around her and he could feel the small bump against his firm abs.

"I'm really am sorry for what I said and I promise it won't happen again," Jax murmured against her head and he felt her expelled breathe hit his chest and the remnants fanned across his neck.

Delilah pulled back from hug to look up at his face causing his hold to loosen around her, "Okay, then it was just a blip on our radar, but if you want to discuss anything from that night now we can."

Jax looked down into her green orbs and he had to quickly look away not to get lost in her abyss instead of a response he just shrugged his shoulders as he looked out into her living room, "Do you want to discuss this now."

"Good time as any," Delilah told him as she completely removed herself from his body and leaned across from him against her kitchen island.

Jax's eyes found her and he knew he wasn't getting out of this – talking. It wasn't as if he didn't want to discuss it or more importantly the issue of his son's name he just didn't know how to discuss it without being a little agitated.

"I don't know how to say what I want to say without sounding like an asshole."

"Well, here is your one exception," Delilah countered.

"With Abel I will settle for the last name to be hyphened although if we are being honest I would just prefer my son having my last name and I would really like to understand why you don't want him to have my name."

"Because he is my son too and I know I will be the one raising him and –"

"What the fuck? You are not the only one raising him. You think what I am just going to walk away because I would really like to know?" Jax told her hotly trying his best to keep his temper under control.

"Jax, I know you have commitments to the club –"

Jax put his hand up to stop her, "Don't. The club has nothing to do with this. The club won't interfere with me being a father to my own kid that's a bullshit excuse and you know it."

"Is it though? I'm not blind or stupid, Jax. I know what the club is involved in. The risks of it. I also know what is it to be raised without a father. I'm willing to do everything to save our son from feeling that."

"Del…"

She shook her head. "You're not invincible. Don't promise me anything right now."

"You can't live with that fear."

Jax watched Delilah bite her lip as she twirled a piece of her discarded hair in between her fingers. She didn't respond to his statement. "I think we should just settle on it being hyphenated, for now."

Jax simply nodded as his head as he took a sip of his forgotten beverage.

"Also, I'm not seeing Sebastian or anyone, at the moment. I thought I should clear the air about that however, I hope you know that applies to you as well, not the sleeping because obviously that is your business, but in the future if you pursue a relationship with someone you have to be mindful that this person will be around our son and if it does get that serious I would like to meet this person first."

"Again, I'm sorry for saying what I said. It was out of line," Jax said awkwardly as he tried to force the thought of Delilah being with another man pregnant or not.

"Clean slate, okay. Just if something is bothering you just talk to me instead of attacking."

"By the way, just for clarification, I'm not seeing anyone either," Jax told her giving her a cheeky grin, but he was taken back by and her mischievous smile as she slowly walked back up to him like prey. Jax watched her as her body leaned up against his and she stood on her tippy toes and his body stilled in anticipation as he watched her eyes move from his lips to his eyes, as he did hers. However, he was taken back when he felt soft lips touch his cheek breaking him out of his trance

"You're adorable." Delilah said with a smirk as she leaned back with a knowing smile.

Jax looked down at Delilah confused, "Adorable? Jax Teller isn't adorable, darlin'."

"Really well I disagree with that one," Delilah said with a smile placing another quick kiss on his cheek before fully walking away.

Jax took another sip of his drink and shook his head out of the stupor Delilah left him in as he followed her body moving around her kitchen, "So what are you making for tomorrow anyways?"

"It's a surprise."

"You know we don't have to do this thing tomorrow. I can tell the guys." Jax said referring to his mom ordering them practically to announce the news to another family dinner even though they had one last week.

"It's fine Jax really, plus they are a part of your family, so it's only fitting," Delilah told him as he watched her grab a Popsicle out of her freezer.

Jax gave her a bittersweet smile, "It's your family too."

* * *

 

Delilah was nervous. She knew all the attention was going to be on her and her small baby bump. It seemed like overnight the 19 week old baby bump grew more pronounced just for this occasion.

Delilah was currently gazing at the mural of Clay in the Teller-Morrow dining room. Much to her Uncle's grunting and displeasure, Delilah had them arrive early for the dinner on the pretense to try and settle some of her nerves and help Gemma out in the kitchen. However, Gemma insisted that she take it easy as this dinner was for her as she was practically the guest of honor.

Delilah reluctantly accepted the dismissal as she lingered in the dining room, but she managed to let Gemma give her the task of at least setting up the table. She couldn't recall the last time she had been in this house. Before she left for college her and her uncle would come over all the time for these family dinners. Gemma along with Luann was actually the one that taught her most of her kitchen skills and how to manage a house from cleaning to bills.

Delilah tore her gaze away from the mural and looked into the kitchen where Gemma was setting the food up. Not everyone was here and only half of the club was present. They were still waiting on Jax, Chibs, Bobby, and a patch from the Tacoma charter named Happy to arrive. The remaining members: Tig, Piney, Clay, Juice, and the prospect Half Sack and her uncle were in the living room already sipping on their beers. She knew Opie and his family wasn't going to make an appearance even though she suggested she would appreciate it if they would come, but Donna had to work and Opie didn't want to cause any more troubles with his wife in having the kids around the club.

Luckily no one at the moment was too curious about her baby bump however she expected Gemma must have mentioned something or they were waiting until they were all seated at the dinner table to bombard her for the details.

Delilah was lost in her thoughts when a very pungent perform hit her senses making her nose scrunch and she knew it belonged to one person.

"Delilah Carmine."

Delilah turned around to find Luann Delaney with her hand perched on her hips with a raised eyebrow.

"Luann Delaney," Delilah responded getting up from the chair.

Delilah always had a soft spot for Luann. Luann was sort of a second mom to her. Gemma was more of an aunt figure to her when she was younger, but somehow Luann seemed to be more maternal towards her. She didn't know how it happened. She suspected it was because sadly Luann and Otto weren't able to conceive kids of their own and how her uncle certainly needed some help in raising a girl Luann was able to fill the void slightly especially after Otto got locked up. With Delilah's absence in Charming, she always made sure to regularly keep in contact with Luann – even wrote the occasional letter to Otto. When she announced she was moving back to Charming, Luann had no problem in offering her a job at the studio.

Luann quickly went to give Delilah a hug. "Missed you at work. I didn't realize how much I need internals of normal conversation that doesn't revolve around how dry or hard someone is."

Delilah giggled.

"So, I suspect something important is going on for us to be having this dinner."

Delilah nodded her head.

"Oh, sweetie, it's a member's baby."

"Luann," Both of them turned to the stern voice of Gemma Teller-Morrow lurking through the door way, "The food is practically done and it's about time to start setting up."

Luann gave Gemma a nod of compliance and turned back around and gave Delilah one last smile before following Gemma's orders. Delilah bit her lip as she was reminded of this club infrastructure regarding social statuses. She wondered what being the mother to Jax Teller's baby made her. Delilah could never really see herself becoming like Gemma and being so fully immersed in the club. Delilah didn't think there was anything wrong with that level of commitment, but Delilah felt like Gemma had to prove her loyalty or whatever by being so immersed when Delilah thought that loyalty should only be reserved for their old man, but than in extension their old man was part of the club. It was just a confusing concept and way of life Delilah never really gave much thought to.

Delilah nearly jumped out of her skin as she was lost in these thoughts by a hand touching her waist and blue eyes looking down at her in mock sympathy, "Sorry."

A hand on her rapidly beating heart gave an unamused looked, "Sure you are." Delilah replied as she heard the commotion of the arrival of the rest of the club in the living room.

"You were supposed to text me when you arrived."

"I'm sorry I forgot my mind is just everywhere," Delilah said as she looked at Jax who was wearing a simple blue flannel with a white t-shirt peeking underneath and his signature baggy blue jeans and white sneakers.

"You know we don't have to do this."

"Jax, it's fine really. I think it will be much better if it was just out in the open." Jax went to reply but they were interrupted by a familiar voice that caused Jax to roll his eyes as he bypassed Delilah giving her a discreet squeeze of her hand and going into the kitchen with Luann and Gemma.

"Deli!" Rosie said happily as she made her way over to her friend giving her a quick hug before bending down eye level to Delilah's expanding stomach. "How is my nephew doing?"

"He is doing fine."

"Can you feel him moving?"

"A little it's a lite fluttering. You guys won't be able to feel it for a few more weeks."

Rosie with her lip set in a pout looked at Delilah's stomach, "Well that sucks. Auntie Rosie can't wait to feel your strong little kicks." Rosie said as she stood eye level to Delilah and Delilah's eyes narrowed at her appearance with red rimmed eyes that were slowly receding.

"Hey are you okay?"

"I'm fine, just a rough day," Rosie told her unable to look her in the eyes.

"A fight with Juice," Delilah questioned lowly.

"You could say that."

"Rosie McDowell look who decided to skip in setting up," Gemma called from the doorway.

Rosie gave Gemma a tight lipped smile in return, "Mama Gemma," Rosie greeted walking over greeting her with a kiss. "It's been a rough day. I'll be sure to be on clean up duty."

Delilah observed the interaction between the two and she couldn't help the feeling she was missing something.

"Well at least we can count on you for something." Gemma muttered. "Why don't you tell the guys dinner is ready," she ordered Rosie who dutifully did what she was told.

* * *

 

Delilah was seated snuggly between Jax and her Uncle as they all began eating the food set out in front of them. Despite being pregnant, her appetite seemed to be non-existent due to her nerves in announcing the news. However, with the two men on her side they seemed to have no problem in consuming the delicious food before them and she could feel the sly glances Jax was sending her way as she picked around her food.

So far, no one had made any inquires to her presence or pregnancy. They all kept conversation lite and only asked her about college and her job at Cara Cara. She kept waiting for Gemma to make some sort of transition to announce the news, but Gemma was too preoccupied with her own food and all the guys' stories when Delilah finally realized that Gemma wanted her to announce the news.

Delilah took a small sip of her water before she cleared her throat after a slight lull in conversation drawing all eyes and attention on her and from the corner of her eye she saw Jax stiffen slightly.

"I have an announcement – or more so a clarification – regarding my pregnancy," Delilah started and she felt her cheeks redden at the intensity of all their gazes and she saw a small smirk come across Gemma's face egging her to continue.

"I'm the father," Jax quickly cut in and underneath the table his hand sought hers. It was like ripping off a band aid.

Delilah looked out to the table where all the guests looked shocked.

"You're joking right?" Juice said speaking up with his dopey smile on his face.

"He ain't joking, Del, here is giving birth to another Teller like one isn't enough in the world," Donovan chimed in while continuing to stuff his face.

"Aye, Jackie Boy, how did ya manage to snatch such a fine lass," Chibs spoke teasingly, "Congratulations, luv, you and Jackie are going to have a beautiful baby boy." Chibs said bringing his beer bottle up.

"Shit, you sure ya ain't jerking our chain," Tig hollered from his seat next to Gemma.

"Well I agree with Chibs," Luann cut in, "That baby boy will be so beautiful. Have you two decided on a name?"

"Abel Nathanial," Delilah answered deliberately leaving out the last name.

"Strong name," Gemma added on with nostalgic look on her face.

"So are you two together?" The prospect asked causing some glares to be thrown his way despite that question being on the tip of everyone's tongue.

"Right now, we are just focusing on being parents, Kip," Delilah replied with a polite smile.

The table was distracted as Piney stood with his infamous Tequila bottle, "A toast to Jackson and Delilah, for a healthy baby and future. I know me along with Donovan, Gemma, and Clay are glad to see the fine adults you both turned out to be and your parents John, Lily, and Niall would be proud of both of you. To the happy new family." Piney said lifting his glass along with the rest of the table.

* * *

 

"Congratulation, son," Clay said as he looked at Jax who had a smile on his face as they all were still in shock over the news. Clay looked out to see his wife in the kitchen talking with Delilah and hated how his wife's crazy accusation was right. Clay focused back on the men in the room and he noticed someone in particular was absent. Clay excused himself holding out a cigar as an excuse and went out front where he found the man he was looking for.

"Mind if I join ya," Clay said as he lit his cigar.

"It's your house," Donovan grumbled as he took a swig from his flask and the two stood in silence of the night.

"Look – " Clay began, but quickly interrupted.

"Clay, it's dead and gone. We need to focus on the present. I need to focus on my niece who is carrying the heir to this goddamn throne."

"I understand that," Clay agreed.

"Hmm."

"Look this is a happy occasion; I just want us to be right. We never been right-"

"Since Niall's and John's death," Donovan finished as he took another swig from his flask.

"You blame me, I know, but shit happened and John's complications got him killed."

"Like I said Clay, it's dead and gone. I ain't dwelling over speculations no more. We have a new grandbaby to focus on and Jax has his head on his shoulders. What's done is done and everything that followed was fate."


	10. Direction

Gemma watched her son smoke a cigarette at the picnic bench across the lot that shit eating grin plastered across his face since that Sunday dinner a couple weeks ago. She knew the reason behind it, but she didn't understand why. From her perspective, Delilah just seemed eager in keeping whatever relationship she had with Jax platonic – even though Gemma thought that was horseshit. She could see how smitten Jax was with the mother of his son.

She knew her son seemed eager to become a father, which she could admit shocked the hell out of her. However, she expected this optimistic attitude to dwindle once the reality of it set in. She wasn't trying to be pessimistic, she loved the fact her son seemed to be ready to handle all the responsibilities of being a dad. Her concern was when Jax came to realize him being a father didn't always include the romantic entanglement of being with the mother.

Gemma, of course, wanted to push Delilah and Jax together. Her son didn't need to settle for the platoon of croweaters to keep him company. He needed a strong woman in his life and Delilah could be that.

It just didn't help that his last legitimate relationship was with Tara Knowles. She hated to completely discredit Wendy because she knew they had their moments she assumed, but it was the wrong moments. Wendy didn't possess the backbone of providing emotional support that these men needed. She didn't know how to handle the ugly maturely. Wendy thrived off the chaotic lifestyle but not in the right way. She fed off the glamour. Wendy she concluded liked the feeling of being included. She liked the attention and what better way to have all the attention by marrying the VP of a motorcycle club.

Delilah could properly navigate in this lifestyle. Gemma knew Delilah might be a little rusty at first, but with a little priming, Delilah would be able to stand firmly behind Jax when he took place as President.

The only obstacle was Delilah.

As she noticed, Delilah seemed to be content in keeping her son in the friend bubble. Gemma knew though the blonde business woman most likely was raging a war with herself in what she wanted with Jax. Gemma fully believed there had to be some initial attraction for them to sleep together no matter if it was a one night stand. They had history. They knew each other. On top of that Gemma was all too aware of the abandoned crush Delilah used to have on Jax and Jax's lingering stares on the then younger girl. She knew it crossed both of their minds.

She would just give Delilah a little more time to adjust to everyone knowing the paternity of little Abel because Gemma would crack her and slowly give the push Delilah and Jax needed.

She only needed to take into account that even than Delilah still wouldn't rush into anything despite her already being pregnant.

Her son, however, wasn't raised to live in a slow and steady life. He was conditioned to the fast life on an asphalt lane with the breeze whipping past him. In this world, you didn't get to be that way. There were too many obstacles and uncertainties. It was either you were all in or weren't. Jax learned that the hard way with Tara who always had one foot in and the other foot out the door. Now, it didn't help there was the added pressure of him being so high ranked in the club hierarchy.

Gemma at least had something to keep her mind occupied along with her getting the equivalent of grandma fever.

Gemma was so lost in her thoughts that she didn't even realize her son had move from his spot at the picnic table to right in front of her causing her to blink a few times at his abrupt appearance.

"I know that look and it means you're up to no good," Jax teased.

Gemma rolled her eyes at her son as she moved off the doorframe and back into the office to sit at the desk her son following her inside. "I'm thinking about changing your room into a nursery for the baby." She heard Jax scoff behind her and she looked back at him, "What?"

"Nothing," Jax said as he sat down on the couch as she took her seat at the desk.

"You and Delilah doing okay?"

"Yeah, it's just we haven't really discussed anything heavy," Jax told her with a frown on his face.

Gemma furrowed her brows, "What do you mean?"

"Like when Abel is born – the living situation." He explained.

Gemma raised her eyebrow slightly as she didn't expect her son to want Delilah to actually live with him and in her mind it seemed her son was already preparing to make Delilah his Old Lady, "So you want her to move in with you." Gemma stated cautiously making sure she was connecting the right dots.

Jax simply shrugged his shoulders, "I don't know. I mean it would make sense. I am just thinking when he is born she can't be doing that all by herself and it shouldn't be up to Donovan to be helping her either when I am perfectly capable. Plus it would feel cramped and off for all of us to be at Don's when I have the space for her and Abel at mine until we decide what to really do."

Gemma looked at her son she was smiling internally at him for wanting to take charge of his family, but on the outside she kept her face impassive and couldn't help but meddle as Jax would label it, "Where you going with that, Jax?"

"Ma-"

"Listen, Jax, I love Delilah, I do and I am happy to know my first grandbaby will have a mother like her, but she is wary Jax. She knows this Life. She knows all about  _you_. I don't know if you noticed Jax, but Delilah keeps people at an arm's length. She is very aloof, not in an insulting way, but the kind that draws attention."

"What are you getting at Ma?" Jax asked annoyance seeping in his voice.

"She isn't going to be the type to follow you blindly. It's a do as your told woman. She will be firm to make her opinion known." Gemma explained.

"So what you are saying? She can't handle this Life – me?"

"What I am saying is, are you prepared for  _her_  type of commitment."

"Mom, I don't plan to cheat on her."

Gemma raised her eyebrow at her son because even though that was a concern it wasn't her main one. "Jackson, being a mother and a lover are two different things. Those feelings will battle each other. She is scared Jax. She is scared to trust you and she is scared of what having a child with you means." Gemma watched her son look at in her the eyes and she knew what she was saying was going to help him navigate his and Delilah's relationship into the right direction. Gemma leaned back into the chair, "By the way, I can tell you right now, if you want to be with Delilah you better be ready for the real thing – baby or not – because there is no backing out and I am sure you don't want to have to face Donovan for hurting his baby girl especially for not keeping your belt buckle," she finished as she went back to the paperwork piling up on her desk.

"I hear you loud and clear, Ma," Jax replied and headed back into the garage.

* * *

 

Delilah was currently sitting on what would usually be an uncomfortable bench, but now it felt like heaven as her feet were already starting to kill her from the walking her and Rosie had been doing while shopping. It was only a matter of time before Delilah's body really began changing so Rosie decided to be proactive in making sure she had some things before nothing fit her anymore.

After Rosie declaring it seemed she needed to get a crowbar to separate Jax from her, Rosie thought it was best they finally really bonded or talked about that family dinner announcement. Delilah knew Rosie was somewhat hurt especially since she is her best friend. No matter how she tried to spin it, Delilah would never be able to validate on why she kept her best friend in the dark. Rosie had already commented that she seemed to be fine in keeping secrets with Jax and the way Rosie said it made Delilah be defensive and worried. She knew she was missing something, but Delilah knew Rosie was upset – the extent of the hurt Delilah didn't know. However, she could tell it was really affecting her friend in a strong way.

Delilah was watching her friend try on what she would consider a really over the top provocative revealing dress, if it could only be considered that. Rosie moving her legs would reveal the thin fabric that covered her intimate areas and the front was split open in a deep cut giving more than just a peak to the breasts beneath it with a few straps making the fabric cling to Rosie's frame. Never mind, the fact the dress the black fabric was practically see through.

Delilah was honestly confused at Rosie's new style. Rosie always wore revealing clothing, but it was tasteful, but now this was downright trashy. It made her look like one of those croweaters. Delilah didn't like the taste in her mouth at the thought of her friend stooping that low. She knew Rosie seemed to be semi-serious with Juice, but she suspected there was more to the picture. Delilah always had a feeling that Juice might have not been the only patch she hooked up with either.

"Are you sure Juice would want you wearing that?" Delilah questioned.

She watched Rosie look at her through the mirror before going back to admiring her own body, "Juice isn't my old man. Besides, we weren't ever official."

Delilah looked at her confused, "But weren't you dating?"

Rosie turned around and looked at her friend, "These men don't date. They only fuck you until they get bored unless they tag you and it seemed Juice wasn't interested in that, but that was to be expected Juice may be a tech genius but he is on the short bus."

Delilah looked at her friend flabbergasted, "You're only saying that because you two had a fight or something."

"Maybe, but it doesn't matter. I am not going to wait around."

"Why did you guys have a fight?" Delilah delicately asked her friend and watched her friend's face become reluctant. Now, Rosie was keeping a secret from her. "Look, I know you hang out with those girls at the club and I'm not placing any judgement, but were there other men before Juice?"

She watched her friend bit her lip before she nodded, "It was only one and only one time. You know me and my ways, I'm not ashamed I'm not, but that one other guy just messed up my reputation with those girls, not all of them because some of them are actually really nice."

"Who was it?"

"Happy."

Delilah widened her eyes because Happy was gruff and seemed rough. It was not like he was unattractive, but just from how he was at dinner he was just quiet and kept to himself and he didn't even give any indication that he knew Rosie in that way. "Oh, does Juice know that?"

"Of course, I told him before one of those girls did. He just seems to not to be able to get over it. Happy doesn't even belong to this charter, but Juice treats me like I'm just some croweater he is passing time with like I am not worthy of anything more. I think he is just insecure than anything, but I am tired of apologizing for something I don't need to. He wasn't even at the clubhouse when it happened and we barely knew each other than. However, he wants to get all upset with me when I know for a fact on the past few runs he had company. It is just utter bullshit and hypocritical." Rosie ranted angrily before she covered her eyes with her hand and her voice became brittle, "It just sucks because Juice is really sweet and I just never had that before."

Delilah gave her friend a small smile, "Well I am not saying you should keep going back, but when this fight cools down just tell him you are tired of him making you feel guilty and if he can't move pass something that happened before you two were an item than maybe you guys should stop trying to make this work."

Rosie took a seat next to her friend and gave her a hug, "You're right. I hate being sad over men."

"Well when was the last time you had a stable relationship?"

"I don't know. I sabotaged all of them and now since I actually want one, karma is biting me in the ass."

"Well at least you aren't pregnant," Delilah quipped.

"Oh stop it. Jax is there giving you his full attention. He can't wait to be a doting father. The croweaters are all envious of you, I would say it would be scary, but they know they better not even dare to try and cross you at least while you are pregnant."

Delilah furrowed her brows, "How am I a threat?"

Rosie looked at her as if she grown a third head, "You are carrying Jax's baby first of all and secondly you have him wrapped around your finger."

"Now you are being full of shit, I do not."

"Delilah with the masters in college you would think you wouldn't be so dense at times." Rosie said pushing some of Delilah's long blonde hair out of her face, "You know Jax hasn't taken any of those girls back to a dorm and you know he sure as hell ain't letting them into his house."

"Rosie, that –"

"It is your business, Del. Jax really likes you and I think he wants more."

"Rosie, I am just the mother of his son. We don't know each other. A lot has happened in six years. There is nothing for him to like more of."

"God Delilah I hate when you do this to yourself. You are a beautiful, astounding, intelligent, and independent woman and you know Uncle Don would have your ass for you to even think of yourself this way. People won't abandon you. We are not your mother. If this is why you won't open yourself up to the possibility of Jax it's stupid. Jax is a loyal man and you should be lucky to have someone not only jump in front of a bullet for you but pull a trigger as well. There aren't many guys like Jax. Sure, there are some faults, but god the way he looks at you or even when he talks about you and the baby…I wish I had that."

* * *

 

_**3 Weeks Later** _

Delilah had officially past the 6 month mark of her pregnancy. Her baby boy weighs a little more over a pound and from the last sonogram picture her and Jax could see some of his facial figure forming. Of course, Jax made sure to quickly point out his son didn't seem so shy is making sure the fine package he had inherited was able to view easily. Just to tease she told Jax it was the umbilical cord and to her amusement Jax made sure the doctor clarified what exactly they were seeing.

By now, it was known throughout practically all of Charming that Jax was indeed the father to her baby. She knew most people wouldn't say anything directly to her face, but she knew half of them were whispering behind her back of how she would stoop so low. She knew some of them probably had referred her to being a biker whore once or twice. Plus, it was like no one out right treated her different. It wasn't as if her personal life was affecting her work ethic. She knew though it was better not to mention this to Jax.

Since Rosie's words at the shopping center, she decided to face what she had said. It wasn't as if Delilah was completely oblivious, she knew her and Jax were tittering on the edge of something. She didn't know that she wanted. She knew that was why she was quick to dismiss Rosie's words that day. In those weeks, yes, she and Jax did become closer. It was inevitable really. They were having a baby, but there were a lot of responsibilities that came with Jax if she entered his world fully as his partner romantically.

As just being the mother of his child, she was sure she wouldn't be fully submerged in it. She wouldn't have to deal with everything. Maybe it was selfish on her part, but why should she fool herself. There were things that she knew he did that she knew she probably didn't want to know, but being who she was she knew she couldn't live in the dark. She couldn't not know. She would not be able to live in the vague. She knew to be with Jax she had to know everything. There was not any other way.

She knew Jax needed that in someone. Where he could lay out everything to him, he needed someone else's voice as his reason especially when other people's voices were all he could hear. She didn't know if he knew that, but it was easy to see especially with how Gemma raised him with the mind set he needed an Old Lady like his father and Clay had with his mother.

She just didn't understand how he could possibility see Old Lady material in her.

Delilah was startled when she felt something ghost along her shoulder almost causing her to drop the cup she was washing in Jax's sink.

"Sorry, I was calling you, but you were too busy scrubbing these dishes that I told you that you didn't need to wash," Jax said with a raised eyebrow.

Delilah simply rolled her eyes as she quickly dried off the dish and placed it on the dish rack. As her belly seemed to be the only thing getting bigger, Jax had been hovering more than usual. She even found him reading a baby book and even Rosie told her he had Juice watching birthing videos with him. "Jax, I was perfectly capable of washing your dishes while you painted Abel's room."

She turned to Jax who was actually paint free thanks to her suggesting for him to purchase a body suit much to his chagrin. But it seemed to be in favor except for one little area. Delilah with her damp towel stood on her tippy toes and wiped away the smudge of paint on his cheek.

"You have some paint on your face," Delilah glanced up to his eyes and she was almost taken back by the intensity he was looking at her with. She saw his eye movement move from her lips to her eyes. All it would take for her was to lean a little further as his hands were already resting on her waist to her balance. She saw his head lean down slightly before she broke away from the sensation in her belly, "Woah."

"What is it? The baby?" Jax immediately asked.

Delilah didn't verbally respond as she grabbed his callous hand and placed it over the expanding bump. Delilah couldn't help the giggle that escaped her throat as Jax jumped from the strong kick from their son.

"Son of a bitch," Jax whispered as now both of his hands caressed her stomach as their son played soccer inside his mother. "Those are some strong kicks."

"He is  _your_  son, after all."

Jax couldn't help the dopey grin that overtook his face as he turned back to the surprisingly soft stomach that encased his child, his own flesh and blood. Something that he helped create that was moving around, a part of him – something all his own.

"This is real," Jax whispered and a faint kick was felt in response as he looked back to Delilah's face where a smile graced her face and her fingers rubbed soothing circles on the top of his hands.

"Yeah it is."

Jax removed his hands from her stomach and they caressed Delilah's face and before he could stop himself his lips descended upon hers.


	11. Old Habits

 

* * *

 

Jax's lips descended down upon hers in soft cautious kiss. She barely heard or even recognized the sigh mixed with a moan as she pressed herself into his heat as much as her stomach allowed. Jax responded to her with another tender kiss against her soft lips, as if he was still holding back. He seemed to want to resist himself from becoming too lost in this.

Once her fingers traveled up to his long blonde locks it seemed to break the wall that was restraining him as he surrendered to the kiss. He deepened the kiss as his nipped at her bottom lip his tongue demanding entrance that she readily gave him. His mouth tasted faintly of beer that somehow made her desire heighten as it reminded her of that night.

Delilah found herself being picked up and placed on his counter top as he fit snuggly in between her thighs and the new position seemed to unlock a fury of desire in Jax. Jax broke the kiss and placed open mouth kisses along her jaw to her neck and she gasped while he simultaneously grinded into her bringing a throb of desire to her center against his growing hardness. As this tingling sensation intensified between her legs, it seemed she was hit with a wave of realization and quickly pushed Jax away her mood deflating, "Jax stop."

Jax quickly backed away from her his eyes filled with concern, "What's wrong?"

Delilah quickly jumped down from the counter and put as much physical distance between them so she could think clearly. "We shouldn't have done that."

"What?" Jax asked confused his voice hoarse being clear evidence of how much he wanted what happened and Delilah knew exactly where it would have headed if she didn't stop it.

"We shouldn't have done that." Delilah repeated more to herself than him.

"You have got to be shitting me," he let out a condescending laugh, "Seemed to have wanted it as much as me, darlin'." Jax retorted hotly.

"Jax, I'm sorry, alright, I –"

"Don't patronize me," Jax snarled at her.

Delilah pursed her lips at the irate biker before she spoke softly, "Jax we should just be friends."

As she said it, it seemed as if the air left the room and she felt suffocated by the look that Jax sent her way. It immediately made her want to take the words back as she didn't even mean them, but they flew out like a reflex from some fear she had when it came to Jax – to their whole relationship. She knew she spent so much time overthinking.

"We were never just friends, darlin'." Jax informed her. His voice dead and bleak and his eyes immediately left hers as he made himself busy with grabbing a beer from his fridge, "You should go," he added on, dismissing her.

"Jax-"

"Just go, please, I need to put the second coat of paint on. You can see yourself out." Jax told her as he looked at her blankly and Delilah just nodded in resignation trying to hide the hurt and tears that threaten to spill at his dismissal of her, but she unearthed it from him by her obvious rejection. Delilah brushed passed him and quickly left the house and swallowed the fact she might have ruined _something_.

* * *

 

Delilah didn't go immediately home. She found herself sitting in the deserted parking lot outside of Hanna's diner where the open food service provider's bright luminescent lights were beaming on her like a spotlight. She knew if anyone was curious they could easily see her tear stricken face that was all her fault.

She didn't know why when her mind caught up to her body she reactively froze and pushed him back. A part of her was telling herself that she was just protecting both of them and their unborn son. She based their attraction – their connection – solely on the fact that they were having a baby together.

She knew they were getting incredibly close. She had started to notice mundane little things he would do like when he was frustrated, a lot was on his mind, or if he didn't know how to navigate himself in a situation he would run his ornate hands through his long blonde locks and lock the strands behind his ears.

When he was in her presence and itching to smoke a cigarette he would constantly play with the lighter to quell his nerves.

She knew his favorite Reaper accessory besides his cut was his Reaper crew hat surprisingly. However, his SONS rings that he wore on his left hand were his ultimate favorite accessory that went into the category of his cut, she should clarify.

She also knew he really liked the KD sunglasses she found for him to wear on his bike. She got him a pair of clear lenses and shaded and although he was surprise by the gifts that she refused to accept any payment for them. She knew he really liked him and she already caught him admiring them and showing them off to the guys a few times.

Jackson Teller hated pop and if he did drink it, he preferred Sprite. His favorite drink besides an alcoholic beverage was just plain old water. He told her his favorite food was anything his mom made him, but recently her cooking him baked mac n cheese with bacon, egg noodles, and 7 UP ham were now in his top three list of favorite food and he promised her he would never tell his mom about her usurping his taste buds.

It wasn't surprising that Jax didn't watch TV, but she had made him start watching _Breaking Bad_ and since he didn't have HBO she made him come over to watch _True Blood_.

She knew Jax only owned another pair of boots besides his white Nike sneakers that were steel toed black boots that went along with his simple wardrobe of baggy jeans, t-shirts either plain or stamped with an SAMRCO logo, and flannels. She knew he didn't normally wear cologne, but if he did wear some it was Tommy Hilfiger something he wore since he was in high school.

She discovered Jax actually liked to read and he preferred the quiet life on the road instead of being at the clubhouse or its parties _sometimes_.

Jax's favorite color used to be blue as he told her green was starting to become his favorite and it didn't take a genius to know why.

These thoughts only made Delilah cry harder.

Delilah didn't know how long she sat in that car but eventually after the painful hiccups subsided her son started kicking in her belly along with a loud growl indicating that they both were hungry. She did her best to ignore the looks that were sent her way no doubt because of her puffy red eyes as she placed her order. It was better she was there instead of at her uncle's because she really did not want to explain her emotional turmoil that was heightened by her pregnancy hormones.

Delilah had swiftly ate the hot greasy food in front of her that immediately made her regret it as she was trying to maintain a healthy diet knowing her son's health prognosis and clogging her arteries wasn't very beneficial or nutritious to the life growing instead of her. Delilah was working on her chocolate milkshake when a voice interrupted the silence she needed for her mind.

"Delilah, are you okay?"

Delilah looked up into the concerned eyes of David Hale, the Deputy Chief of Charming PD. "I'm fine, David, just a rough night."

"Do you mind if I sit?"

"Go ahead," Delilah nodded.

Despite Charming being so small, Delilah hadn't really seen David except when they brought in Whistler for an accident involving his genitals and she knew David was not pleased that Whistler refused to divulge who was responsible. She knew he looked for any reason to pin the SONS to something to get them off the roads of Charming. Unlike Unser, he did not look the other way.

Plus, she knew personally one sector of the Hale family were still bitter for her dumping Sebastian and she thought it was best to steer clear of all of them. She knew David never treated her different since the breakup that was six years ago, but despite David's high honored role in society his family took it with a grain of salt and she knew Vivian, David's aunt and Sebastian's mom, would have no problem shaming her especially in her situation. Only if Vivian knew how Sebastian still was friendly with her.

"Congratulations on the baby," David stated politely.

"Thank you David," Delilah said as she placed her hands on her stomach, "it was a pleasant surprise."

"Well, I can say it surprised all of us. I do recall you vehemently stating you didn't want kids."

Delilah held a slight frown at David's comment as it was one of the reasons she broke up with Sebastian. He wanted a family, the whole thing, and she didn't. She knew he would have sacrificed his dream – his desire – of a family because he believed she was _the one_ , but she couldn't do that to him. She knew back then he always told her she would change her mind, she never knew if she did as in college she was more indifferent to the idea of kids. She was too focused on school and when she found out she was pregnant with Abel, she didn't have a crisis. She just accepted it and was happy with the thought of being a mother.

"Well, that was close to 7 years ago life happens," Delilah said before taking a sip of her milkshake.

David offered her another smile as he leaned forward on the table his voice lowering a few decibels, "Is Jax really the father?"

"Yes, he is," Delilah informed him and she felt a little pang in her chest at the mention of Jax as she remembered why she was here in the first place.

"Is he the reason behind your puffy eyes?" David asked cautiously.

Delilah furrowed her brows at the change in David's voice and her eyes widened at the implication hidden beneath his words, "David…he would never. We just had a disagreement, not that is any of your business, and on top of pregnancy hormones I overreact."

"Del, if –"

"Oh come off it, David, people argue and have disagreements and I don't like the insinuation that Jackson Teller, the father of my child, would ever put his hands on me, and I would appreciate it if you would find another topic of conversation or you can leave and tell Vivian all about this encounter."

David immediately put his hands up in a surrender motion as he eyed the other customers in the store who had looked over concerned at the harsh tone of Delilah's voice. "I'm sorry, I overstepped a boundary. I shouldn't assume things…I'm just worried –"

"There is no reason for you to be worried about me David," Delilah quickly intercepted.

"It's my job to be concerned about all my citizens in Charming."

"Even the members of the SONS," Delilah added and watched the pinched look that came across his face.

"Despite my own personal assessments of the club, I know Jax will take care of you, but I would just hate to see you and your child get hurt by him and his club, but I will be a better man and say I hope it will work out for you. I know I should be biased since you did dump my cousin, but you are a great girl, Del, and I hope Jax sees that and will appreciate that because you deserve the best and not to be here at Hanna's diner this late at night crying over _him_."

"I appreciate your concern, David," Delilah said with a tight smile.

David simply nodded his head and got up from his side of the table and gave her a reassuring squeeze on her shoulder, "It was good seeing you, Del."

Delilah looked at her melted milkshake the appeal of it no longer desired. She didn't know how to interpret David's words or there meanings. She was too focused on if she should indeed give Jax some space. She read the clear hurt and disbelief of rejection in his body as it became clear no one had ever outright denied him and then she had to add on that they should just be friends. She knew they could never just be friends; they had crossed this invisible line that prevented them from ever staying in that bracket, emotionally.

* * *

 

Delilah didn't know how long she sat in that diner or how long she rode aimlessly around Charming until she was back in front of that one story blue and white house. However, this time there wasn't a bike in the driveway. Delilah should have used that as an excuse to let him cool off presumably. In any of her relationships, she never was one to outright fix anything. She didn't chase.

Delilah got out the spare key Jax gave her and walked into his dark and quiet house. She knew he wasn't here as there were no signs of life. She saw that he had indeed had started putting the second coat of paint on the walls, but it could clearly be seen that he stopped mid-swipe before completely abandoning the task.

A frown settled on her lips as she contemplated how much of what she did hurt Jax. She turned the light off to Abel's room and mindlessly began picking up little items around his house like fixing his toiletries in his bathroom and picking up the discarded clothes on his bedroom floor. She didn't know if she was possibly going to infuriate him even further by crossing his personal space as she tidied up his place. However, as time passed and she put away the last dish in his cupboard. She knew he wasn't going to be coming home soon and if she was smart she would have just went home herself, but she told him that they needed to talk about things. So she went to the only other place she would find him: the clubhouse.

Delilah parked her Jeep in an abandoned spot at the clubhouse. There were a few people scattered outside of the dark and brooding building near the boxing ring, but it wasn't packed. She saw there only a few bikes near the ramp, the President's bike noticeably missing, but she recognized Jax's bike in its designated spot.

As Delilah crept closer to the clubhouse, she could hear the faint music of Guns N' Roses blast through the stereo system, she knew she was out of place in her simple outfit and pregnant belly. She felt the double glances from the people outside and even say a few sly smirks from the croweaters that she assumed knew who she was and to her mistake she didn't hold any weight to the smirks.

As she opened the door, her senses were insulted with booze, sex, weed, and leather. Luckily everyone seemed to be too far gone to register the new presence in the room while she tried to find a familiar face in the crowd. Either all were occupied or the blonde mop of hair was nowhere to be seen.

However, she knew her mind was scarred by the acts she was witnessing. Finally, she was able to locate one friendly face that wasn't actively taking part in the debauchery. Delilah made her way to behind the bar and she registered the shock that came across Kip's face as he almost dropped the bottle of Jack he was putting on the shelf.

"Del-Delilah, hi, um…does Jax know you're here?" He asked her with wide-eyes as he looked scared and did a once over of the crowd as if he was hoping someone would save him.

"I was just actually looking for Jax. I saw his bike outside…so I am going to presume he is in the back in his dorm." Delilah watched as what she would describe as fear register across his face. "Are you okay?" She knew Kip was a Prospect. She had a vague idea of what that meant and entailed, but as a Nurse he looked pure frightened and she was concerned about his well-being. She was going to ask if he needed to break, but his words stopped her.

"Yeah, I'm fine, but uh, Jax I haven't seen him."

Delilah raised an eyebrow, "Well he isn't outside and not here. I am just going to check his dorm." She informed and she saw Kip going to refute, but someone came to the bar demanding a drink giving her the perfect chance to make an escape.

Delilah turned the corner and passed John Teller's bike as she went to the door that was last at the end of the hall. Now that she was here, Delilah didn't even consider what she would find at the other side of that door or even what she would say to Jax. At top of the fact, it seemed only the music from the main room was filling her thoughts. Delilah enclosed her hand around the doorknob and pushed the door open.

* * *

 

Jax watched Delilah's hurt frame quickly close the door to his dorm. She didn't even slam it, just closed it quietly muffling the music from the other side. The buzz he clearly had rapidly dissipated. His eyes were focused on the closed door when he felt the croweater clearly still trying to work on his belt buckle and it caused him to quickly slap her hands away and bark at her to leave the room.

He knew he should have never left his goddamn house and should have just finished painting his son's room. He knew when Delilah pushed him away it wasn't from rejection of him. He could clearly see that now, but just from pushing him away it bruised his ego.

If he wouldn't have reacted harshly and acted like an adult maybe he would have saw that she was probably overwhelmed and cautious. He should have known that. Just knowing Delilah and from what Don told him, it was going to take a while for her to catch up and Delilah was just a very quiet and closed off person. You clearly had to earn her trust to know her and now he precisely just fucked it all up by his knee jerk reaction to find someone to fill a void.

Jax got up from his bed and looked around for his shirt to cover himself back up. Delilah's facial expression of shock and hurt was on the spotlight vividly in his mind. He ran a hand down his face and he decided that he should take a shower as the girl, who almost got lucky, smell somehow was clinging to his skin reminding him of his fuck up.

He quickly threw off his shirt and walked into bathroom slamming the door.

Jax remembered Delilah joking that you could go through Charming within five minutes, but for some reason he felt the ride to her house took a whole hour. His hair was still wet and he knew an image of him with soaking hair and being clean was not going to help his case and it would just reinforce in her mind of what exactly he was doing or planned to do and he was just washing away the evidence.

Jax finally pulled up to the Carmine residence and didn't even bother taking off his helmet as he jogged up to the entrance and before he even reached the door, Donovan's firm voice broke the silence of the night, "You should go home, son."

Jax stopped mid-step and looked up to see Donovan's form standing in the doorway. Jax couldn't tell if he was pissed or anything. He just stood there impassive. Jax knew what pleading he would do would fall on deaf ears and if Delilah specifically told Don she didn't want him there, Jax knew he wasn't getting in.

"When she wants to talk she'll call you until then just let her be for a few days." Donovan added on as he stood there in the middle of the sidewalk looking dumbfounded and confused. The last time he ever been in a situation even remotely similar was close to ten damn years ago and even than he just snuck through the former flame's window and coaxed her into forgiving him.

Jax just nodded his head and accepted defeat while he contemplated crashing at Opie's and trying to get Delilah by herself, but he knew that would not only probably piss her off, but Don as well, "Just tell her I'm sorry and –"

"Save it, Jax, I don't even want to know what you did for my own peace of mind," Donovan told him and promptly shut the door to his house.

* * *

 

Jax arrived to his empty home and dropped his keys into this skull ceramic key holder that ironically Delilah bought for him. He wasn't sure want exactly made her buy it as he thought his key rack on the wall was just fine, but she thought it was fitting and cute.

Jax bypassed his kitchen and living room as he planned to just call it a night. His head had too much noise and he knew his and Delilah's episode would spread like wildfire and he would have to surely receive a speech from his mother if he thought that was a way to begin a relationship with Delilah he was a goddamn idiot.

Jax had stumbled into his room when he went to throw his clothes in the pile that had been piling up the past few days when he paused and realized there was a basket where the pile used to be and no clothes. Jax looked around his room where the bed was neatly made and his dresser top was clean from the clutter of receipts and the jewelry was arranged more neatly in the corner with a note saying he needed a jewelry case. Jax's heart clenched as he did an inventory of his house. He found that Delilah had gone through and tidied it up.

Jax went into Abel's room and opened up the can of paint to finish the second coat as he wondered when he officially fallen for Delilah Carmine.


	12. Work

A few days easily turned into a week. Jax had already decided he was sick of the silent treatment and he was on the verge of becoming pissed off himself. After he would call at least five times in a row he would receive a curt and short message from Delilah saying that the baby was fine before she would hang up. If he called again the phone would go straight to voicemail.

Jax tried to keep his mind cool and collected, but his calm nature was slowly eroding. However, every time he tried to find some sort of defense for himself, it made him just look like an ass or he would be contradicting himself because god forbid if he caught Delilah in that situation that man who found himself on that end would be scattered across the high way.

In this week of reluctant dead silence, Jax found it ironic that club business was on the relative slow side and people seemed to be more attuned to his sour mood, it didn't help that he received a few sour looks directed towards him because of course what happened between him and Delilah had been enough crumbs for a croweater to nibble on and spread through the clubhouse and at this point he suspected the whole population of Charming.

Jax was performing the menial task of changing the oil in one of the cars when he heard his mom's clipped tone call his name out from across the garage and by that tone he knew it was best to tend to her right away. Jax visibly sagged under the hood of the car before pulling back and taking his rag and wiping his greasy hands. He made his way to the office where his mom was still perched in the doorway to make sure he was coming in.

Gemma finally moved from the position of the doorway as he drew closer, "Shut the door," she threw over her shoulder while she stood behind the desk her hands placed on her hips as she narrowed her eyes at him, "Does Delilah look like she is 15 or like Tara _goddamn_ Knowles?" The irate brunette matriarch asked hotly causing his eyes to narrow at her choice of words. Gemma pointed a freshly manicured finger at her son, "She is the mother of your son, Jackson, I told you that she was already wary and now she has to worry about you finding anything that will spread their legs to you because what you got in a fight? She rejected you? Yeah, Rosie, reluctantly gave me the details to why you been in a pissy mood although it doesn't help you have croweaters talking about the mother of your son."

Jax clenched his jaw as he folded his arms over his chest, "I know I fucked up –"

"That's an understatement," his mom muttered.

"I am trying to make this right but she won't answer my calls or texts and I know if I show up at her house Donovan will kick my ass."

"Well he should." Gemma fired back.

"Thanks, mom, really."

"Well, I am sorry I raised such an asshole for a son. I told you she was worried, Jax, and you just threw in her face one of the reasons why she should be."

Jax sighed and rubbed his hand down his face, "I don't know what to do here. You yelling at me isn't helping and I tried to figure out a way to apologize, but all I do is end up sounding like an asshole."

"You betrayed her trust, Jackson, it didn't matter if you are together or not."

"You're talking like I blew my whole chance with her."

"You might have, Jackson. I don't know if you noticed, but Delilah isn't the going back and forth type of girl. She isn't going to put up with your wandering dick," Gemma told him as she looked at her son who had a storm brewing in his eyes. She wanted to feel bad for her son and she knew she was going to do some damage control for him, but her son needed the truth. Gemma took a deep breath and sat down in the chair at her desk, "I don't think it needs to be stated that Delilah is a catch and she has a lot going for her. She has made herself a life all on her own. On top of that, she is a beautiful woman. A beautiful woman who can have any man she wants…if you want her Jackson you can't do this dumb shit. You have to fight for her. Show her you are serious. She isn't Wendy or Tara and you're not 16 years old anymore or just trying to replace someone."

Jax didn't get to reply as a knock came from the door and a head full of blonde hair peeked through revealing Luann, "Sorry, I hope. I am not interrupting anything."

Jax shook his head and greeted Luann with a kiss on the cheek, "Nah, I need to get back to work." Jax said and gave his mom a nod as he exited the office for a much needed cigarette.

Luann watched Jax leave the office and turned back to look at Gemma who was watching her son's retreating form, "I interrupted something."

Gemma's eyes snapped to Luann who was looking at her curiously, "What do you think?" Gemma asked rhetorically and she went to give attention back to the work on the order for stock when she did a double glance at Luann and it dawned on her that Luann had to be here for a reason as they had nothing planned. "What you need to recruit croweaters or something?

Luann rolled her eyes and took a seat on the old plaid couch next to her best friend, "No, I'm not. I just had a very interesting phone call with Delilah."

Gemma's ear perked up and her task of taking inventory was completely abandoned and it took all her control to not to look too interested in this bit of information or swivel her chair fully around to look at her friend, "Must have been since you came here to spill the tea."

Luann smirked at Gemma's act of not looking too eager to hear what she had to say, "I feel it is my job as an Old Lady to inform another Old Lady when one de facto Old Lady was going through a crisis, since the patch in question is your son after all."

Gemma placed her pen down and turned around to face Luann with a raised eyebrow, "Well?"

"Well Delilah wasn't all that forth coming about the cause for these questions. But I am sure you probably already knew, but she was just really curious on the croweaters and how relationships in the club work."

"Could you be anymore vague?" Gemma asked exasperated. Sure, this news was somewhat helpful as it gave her some insight where Delilah's mind was at, but Gemma knew she was just going to have to see Delilah face to face.

"Well Gem, you know how Del is, when I tried to pry she immediately shot me down, but my guess she heard about Jax being with a croweater."

"Well what did you tell her?"

"I told her the difference between an Old Lady than the girls she sees around here. She knows the basics from growing up around us, but I told her the duties of an Old Lady and how a patch should be treated, but I really honed in on how the VP should be treated. I tried to keep it simple without overwhelming her. It was hard to gauge her reaction so it was over the phone, but she agreed to a lunch so I will see her later on this week."

Gemma pursed her lips as she tried to figure out why Delilah would go to Luann instead of her. It wasn't as if Luann wasn't a good and proper Old Lady. She did what she was told and was still supportive of the club even with Otto being away going on 10 years and she had sympathy for her friend as that was a long time to go without being in the arms of your old man especially one who had behavioral problems restricting his visitation once in a while.

"Gem, you know the only reason she came to me was because she didn't want to hear a pro-Jax speech. Delilah isn't the type to be swayed. She needs time to figure out what she wants or if she wants to pursue something with Jax."

"Well she should have thought about that before she slept with him and got pregnant." Gemma said as she tossed her pen on the desk and looked at Luann.

"Gem, you know that your grandson will still have a family even if Del and Jax don't work out."

"My grandson deserves a home with two loving parents. Do you really think that Jax is going to be okay with Abel having a step daddy as long as he is alive?"

"Well do you think Delilah is going to be okay raising his kid and having to know what happens on a run _stays_ on a run," Luann countered and she tried to hide the smirk on her face as despite the outlaw ways they live Gemma still maintained core family values. "Do you honestly think they can work, Gem? Delilah is just so closed off. I mean remember her with Sebastian, sure they were together all of high school, but she never cried over him. She didn't seem that emotionally invested. Then being with Jax, you have to admit it would be an intense relationship and it would be far from normal. Jax and this life is intense, sweetie, plus I think she is scared she will turn out like her mother. I mean she watched how her mom became when Nick vanished."

"Lily was weak," Gemma countered thinking of her former friend. She always knew Lily had a weak and easily swayed heart. Nick sure he had a good heart for the most part, but he had costly demons that Delilah knew nothing about and Lily tried to play off. "Delilah isn't her mother and I think we can all agree Don raised her right and she was surrounded by strong women. If anyone should be worried it is Jax, he has his father's heart."

"Delilah isn't Tara. She isn't going to twist Jax up. It's not Del's style," Luann got up from the couch and let out a sigh as she looked down at her friend and slipped on her sunglasses, "Maybe it's best if they focused on the baby and not worry about their romantic feelings. Now I have to go visit my husband as his visitation was reinstated, just try not to do too much damage while I'm gone. Go easy on her."

* * *

Jax was on his second cigarette as he watched Luann come out of the office and got in her car to leave the shop. As she passed, she gave him a little wave with a knowing smile and he just knew Delilah talked to her and he couldn't help the scowl that overcame his face. And his somewhat decent mood from the nicotine break completely vanished as he decided he was done with this silent treatment bullshit. Jax threw his half smoked cigarette on the ground and squashed it with the end of his shoe.

Jax eyed the lot which was being animated by the guys working on the cars that were coming through the lot. Despite the town's lukewarm response of anything associated with the club they couldn't dent they did provide quality service in regards to the automobiles although it does help they are the only mechanic shop in little ole Charming. Jax was scanning the lot when his eyes paused on a very familiar cage and Jax quickly strolled into the clubhouse finding the friendly brunette curled on top of Juice's lap. Jax would have rolled his eyes as everyone knew these two were hot n cold, but Jax chided himself for not thinking of talking to Rosie when she was the only person in Charming to know Delilah better than anyone.

Jax walked up to the on again couple who were lost in their own world giggling about something that he knew he didn't care to even know. Juice luckily saw him coming and quickly nudged his girlfriend who had a smile on her face, but as soon as she looked at Jax it quickly turned into a scowl.

"Jax," Rosie greeted curtly and Jax only knew he got any type of acknowledgment was because he was Juice's patched brother. However, he knew Rosie wasn't going to give any details about Delilah without making him work for it.

"How's Delilah?" The blonde biker asked getting straight to the point.

Rosie looked at him with an annoyed expression and quickly removed herself from Juice's lap as she replied, "The baby is fine."

"I didn't ask about Abel. I asked about Delilah."

"I don't think Delilah is any of your concern, Jax."

"Rose…" Juice began to say, but Jax intervene, "Rosie, I don't have time for this bullshit."

"Well sorry Prince Charming that not everything runs according to your schedule. Maybe you should have thought of that before you shit where you eat. You hurt her, Jax, and you expect her to just fall in your arms or whatever before you guys even officially get together?"

Jax clenched his jaw at Rosie's words, "It wasn't even like that."

"Then what was it like because from my understanding that croweater, Gigi, was topless with your shirt off and her hands weren't giving you a prostate exam," Rosie said heatedly.

"Look, I don't have to explain shit to you Rosie just tell me what I have to do." Jax asked exasperated.

"Just leave her alone, Jax, focus on the baby." Jax went to refute as his temper was quickly rising although he appreciated that Rosie was a loyal friend, but Rosie continued. "Just give her a couple more days. I know it's been a week or whatever, but just let her come to you. I wouldn't expect much but friendship and I will tell you now she isn't going to want to talk about it, if she maintains you two are just going to stay strictly friends."

"Alright," Jax said with a loud sigh. He had to take what he could get even if it wasn't much. "Just tell me is she okay, though, I know she is hurt, but…"

"I don't know Jax. I have been her friend for so long, but I still have trouble reading her especially. Lila, is just a guarded person. Just let her be for now. If she doesn't talk to you by the end of the week, I'll talk to her since you need to know about the baby other than short texts."

"I appreciate it, Rosie," Jax said giving her a small grateful smile, but his face got serious, "How you doing?"

Before Rosie could reply Juice intervene, "She's good, Jax, she is allowed to go to my shop, but that's it and she knows she can't overdue it once the baby is here."

"You shouldn't be doing that shit at all," Jax pointed out to Rosie, "Weed is always the gateway drug."

"I'm fine, Jax, the dinner that was only a one-time thing and Delilah didn't get suspicious."

"Just because she is pregnant doesn't make her oblivious. She is still a nurse. I am telling right now Rosie you won't be around my kid if you're strung out and I will have no problem telling Delilah, either." Jax told her because since his experience with Wendy he would never trust the promises of a junkie.

* * *

Delilah was thankful for the distraction of work. Although being on her feet all day was a con and she was already looking into a spa day, she loved treating her patients and being able to help them. She actually liked to fill out paperwork on most occasions too. She liked how for the past week work has kept her mind occupied and barely gave her any time to really think about what she saw with Jax and that girl.

Delilah didn't know if she could really be upset with Jax. They weren't together. Jax was allowed to do whatever he wanted even though he did just kiss her and she knew there was something more that she couldn't admit.

She just wished it didn't hurt so much, but she was angry as well. Jax broke some of that trust and opened her eyes of who she could be involved with. She already knew about the other girls, she grew up with that knowledge and seen first-hand the girls he went through it just hurt how easily he could just kiss her and in his anger or rejection easily find someone to replace her or keep him company. On top of that, he would give her shit if she even went on a date probably pregnant or not.

She knew it was somewhat childish and hypocritical of her to ignore him when she already specifically told him that they needed to be adults about things and talk, but the last thing she wanted to do was talk to him.

Delilah shook her head as she was at work and didn't want to think about her personal life. She grabbed the file outside of the door of an exam room and knocked on the door before she entered as she gave a brief overview of the contents on the file, "Ms. Crossland, Dr. Alexander isn't in today so I will be in charge of your check-up, I am Delilah your nurse practitioner for today."

"Delilah Carmine?" The feminine voice called out.

Delilah looked up from the file with a smile plastered on her face and nodded.

"Oh my, you probably don't remember me. I used to be friends with your mother we had a falling out with you were about two, but I'm Emily Crossland. Wow you look just like your mother and nurse practitioner, Don must be proud."

Delilah looked at the brunette older lady who according to her file was 51 and there were no alarming health issues and saw that Emily was here concerned about menopause. "Yes, my uncle has been very supportive of me and thank you for the compliment." Delilah responded with a stiff smile at the mention of her mother.

Emily seemed to pick up on that, "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have mentioned Lily."

"It's alright," Delilah said as she took a seat getting ready to begin asking the standard questions for any checks up.

"Before we begin, may I ask how far along you are?"

Delilah looked down at her baby bump that was really showing. In the past week it seemed she grew overnight only in her belly though. She already knew that her boobs would probably be slow on the growth spurt and she was grateful because since she was going to be breastfeeding she would have to be used to having larger breast than normal. Delilah rubbed a hand along her belly and smiled, "Six months. It's a boy." Delilah added on as she knew that was the next question she was going to ask.

"Wow, congratulations. You know your mother wanted you to be a boy for the longest time. She was so convinced that there was going to be a Nick Jr. God, I'm sorry I don't mean to talk about your mom after…what happened. I just wished you knew your mother before your father."

Delilah's brow furrowed, "It's okay. I can't really miss something I never really had."

"Your son's father…I mean I don't see a ring – no judgement – but is he in the picture?"

"The baby's father is taking responsibility," Delilah said after a second as she tried to figure out how to navigate this conversation back to a nurse talking to a patient.

"I'm sorry, I don't mean to pry." Emily said apologetically.

"No, it's alright, but I think we should get back to why you are here," Delilah said as she gave her a polite smile.

"You're right, but before we begin talking about my dry walls and heat flashes. You shouldn't be ashamed that Jax Teller is the baby's father." Delilah looked up at Emily who gave her a bashful smile as she continued, "I know, I know, gossip runs rampant in this town and I know the Sons are a necessary evil or whatever, but Jax is a good man like his father, John, and I hope you two can work things out and be a happy family for your son and you aren't your mother."

* * *

Delilah got out of her Jeep and released an exhausted breath as she regretted not stopping by a fast food joint for dinner because she was too exhausted to even attempt to make anything for dinner. It didn't help that Emily Crossland an apparent old and lost friend brought up her mother, father, and Jax.

She didn't remember an Emily ever in her life or even a mention from anyone in her life. She also didn't like the feeling of how she mentioned her father like the man she remembered wasn't the man other people knew. She barely thought about her parent's and she hated when people brought them up. She tried to think of a motive for Emily bringing them up, but the only thing she got was Emily felt relieved she wasn't apparently following in her mother's footsteps.

Delilah entered her house and began taking off her Nike's when the aroma of chicken hit her nose and she became confused as her uncle's car wasn't parked in the driveway and before she could look out the window, Gemma walked out of the kitchen.

"Don, let me in and left as soon as he stuffed his face. Come on, you need to feed my grandbaby," Gemma told her leaving no room for objection.

"Okay, just let me change out of my scrubs first," Delilah replied as she watched Gemma's hawk eyes observe her. Delilah should have known Gemma would swoop in and probably defend her son. Jax was her only son and if Delilah had made Jax act any different in this week long silence Delilah knew she was about to be attacked by the fierce lion that resided in Gemma even if her son was in the wrong and caused his own pain.

Delilah quickly traveled down to her room and changed into a simple pair of grey sweatpants and an oversized t-shirt and she made a mental note that she needed to go clothes shopping real soon. Delilah threw her hair into a sloppy bun as she walked back out into the dining room where Gemma was serving their plates.

"You have gotten big over the last week," Gemma commented as she stepped fully into the kitchen.

"Yeah, only a few more pounds and I'm sure I will be waddling."

"Everything is okay though?" Gemma asked her concerned as she finished putting some chicken Alfredo onto her plate.

"Yeah, there is still a risk for an early birth, but Dr. Roden and I are monitoring it and as of now since we know Abel has it when he is born we are going to be equipped to deal with it. Dr. Roden said it is up to Jax and me if we want to operate on him as soon as he is born or wait it out a little." Delilah said as she took her seat at the table.

"And have you talked about this?" Gemma asked her as she took her own seat.

"Well no matter what open heart surgery is a big risk and as much as I don't like the fact that for the first few weeks of my son's life may be in an incubator I would rather deal with it now and be proactive than wait, but it depends on how Jax feels as well. So hopefully we can come to an agreement."

"Well, in my opinion as much as I hate that my family flaw has been passed down to my grandson; you should be proactive and deal with it now. I would hate for you to go through what I went through with Thomas," Gemma said as she began eating her food.

Delilah gave her a sad smile and she picked up the fork to her own food, but she couldn't force herself to eat it just yet. She knew Gemma was here about Jax and she felt she was being a pig fattened up for slaughter.

"Something wrong with the food?"

"I know why you are here, Gemma."

Gemma raised an eyebrow, "Don't you want to eat first and then talk."

"No, I want to talk, eat, take a shower, and go to sleep. I already know why you are here and frankly I am not in the mood for a pro-Jax or whatever speech," Delilah said flatly and just cutting to the chase.

"Well you certainly aren't one for bullshit. I don't remember you being like this as a teenager," Gemma said as she took a drink from her cup of water, "I understand you are hurt by what my son did and Luann told me you were asking questions."

Delilah rolled her eyes because she knew Luann would of course tell Gemma about her really inquiring about females roles in the club seriously. Delilah had the basic knowledge, but she saw how Donna and Gemma were and they both contrasted each other on how women were in the life. So she called Luann who went through a Donna and Gemma phase, but of course it couldn't be kept under wrapped.

"It doesn't matter how I feel. I am not an Old Lady and there is nothing for me to be hurt about. I have no claim or a crow to Jax."

"What do you want from Jax?"

"Just for him to be there for our son," Delilah automatically replied.

"That's it? Nothing else?" Delilah shook her head and Gemma leaned back in her chair. "You got strings on my son. I don't how it happened, but Jax…he falls fast and hard, it's this life we live in that you are involved in now."

Delilah looked at Gemma in disbelief as she tried to comprehend where this conversation was heading, "So I should just be okay when he is upset that he can just go to the clubhouse and bury his problems in anything willing to spread their legs?"

"No, I am saying if you want him you need to let him know put him on restrictions-"

"I don't want to have to put him on restrictions, Gemma, I shouldn't have to."

"Well putting him on the silent treatment isn't helping. You have to let him know, sweetheart, that this won't be tolerated. You have to understand we are what hold these men together. We guide them -"

"Wait," Delilah said as she put up her hands as she realized what this whole set up was about. "Are you trying to prep me into being Jax's Old Lady?" Delilah knew she hit the jackpot by Gemma's lack of answer. "Jesus, Gem, the ink isn't even dried on his divorce papers from his previous one and you are trying to make sure he has a replacement."

"Wendy was just a bad decision and because my son has a good heart he tried to make it work, but he choose the wrong person to move on from his old high school tart."

"Tara? You're telling me that he hasn't been in a relationship with anyone other than Tara and Wendy? Jesus, Gem, from what you're saying he hasn't even gotten over Tara then and why would I want to compete with the ghost of someone."

"He is over her, trust me, but we can't forget about you?"

"What about me? I'm not pining over an old flame."

"No sweetheart because unlike your burnt flame someone else's is still burning like an inferno," Gemma said accusingly.

Delilah scrunched up her nose as she knew directly who she was talking about, "Sebastian is just an old friend."

"Are you sure he knows that because I don't think the baby that is not his that you are carrying seems to not be registering."

Delilah rubbed her forehead as she had no clue on how to even wrap her head around what was happening. She felt Gemma was talking in circles but was still ambushing her. "I don't understand what you or Jax want from me?"

"What's holding you back from my son?"

Delilah looked away from Gemma as she gnawed on her bottom lip. She really shouldn't be having this conversation with Gemma, but Jax. There was just so much he didn't know or even understand. "I don't think I will ever fully understand this Life and I don't want to hurt him because of it."

"You love the man…you'll learn to love the club."

Delilah simply nodded her head because what else could she say? Gemma made it seem so simple and easy. She took everything in stride nothing bulldozed her walls or crumbled them. Maybe, it didn't help that Delilah was still confused herself. She had just wanted to focus on the baby and have no romantic entanglements. Delilah picked up her fork and twirled some noodles around her fork, "I'll call him, but I'm not going to promise anything."

"You'll figure it out."

* * *

Delilah walked down her hallway into the kitchen the following mid-morning as she released a loud yawn. Thankfully after Gemma seemed to be satisfied somewhat they were able to eat in peace and talked about the baby for a good half hour before Gemma left as Delilah was becoming dead on her feet.

"Sleeping beauty is finally awake," Donovan said as he rummaged through the refrigerator. "No work today?"

"Second shift," Delilah mumbled as she took a seat at the counter.

"God, you go from first, second, and third shift. Is that even healthy for the baby on top of those 12 hour shifts plus you're on salary right?"

"No hourly. I am working these extra shifts to have extra money for the baby," Delilah said as she peeled a banana.

"Isn't Jax giving you money?" Donovan asked as he peaked over his shoulder only to see Delilah's face scrunch up at the mention of her baby's father. "Ah so Gemma's plan didn't go as planned last night still giving the boy silent treatment."

"I'll call him after tomorrow. It's my day off."

"Why don't you call him now? He is probably itching for a phone call and not a text."

"Why do you care?" Delilah asked hotly.

"Whoa, sweetheart, put back the fangs. I am just sick and tired of seeing you mope."

"I'm not moping."

"Sure, whatever. Even though I have an idea what jackass did put him in his place. Set the terms and agreements. I'm not saying you need to forget or put him on "restrictions" as Gemma probably said, but tell him what shit won't be tolerated together or not."

"I really don't want to think about Jax, right now."

"Well you're shit out of luck because you have a mandatory of 18 years ya'll are going to have to be stuck together in raising that boy growing in your stomach by the way have you two discussed the living arrangement?"

Delilah mid-chew on her banana paused, "What are you kicking me out?"

"No, just when Abel is born you can't be catering a newborn who has medical problems back and forth, it would be best if he was in one place for a while and not be carted around."

"So what? Are you saying Jax's would be the preferred house to do this?"

"What I am saying you two need to get your heads out of your asses," Donovan remarked as he abandoned his search for food and went and grabbed his keys, "I'm going to Hanna's for breakfast. Any odd requests?"

"No," Delilah said with a scowl on her face, "Just get Abel's usual."

* * *

Jax looked out the window where he saw Donovan Carmine get into his truck and leave his household. Jax's eyes travelled back to the front door and hoped to maybe see a peak of Delilah looking through the window as well, but got nothing. If it wasn't for her Jeep parked in the driveway he wouldn't even have known anyone was even home.

"Quit being a creep and go over there."

Jax eye's shifted to his best friend who was actually sitting there reading the paper. Jax decided early morning he couldn't sit in the silence of his house and he didn't want to hang out at the clubhouse when he decided he was going to just confront Delilah, but once he realized it was early in the morning and that Delilah's work hours were always changing he didn't want to accidentally interrupt her sleep. So he changed his tactic and decided to head to his best friend's house with breakfast. Jax glanced back at the house next door before turning to his best friend, "I can't.

Opie flipped to the next page of his newspaper and asked, "Why not?"

"I fucked up, bro," Jax said as he left the window and took a seat on the couch. It was just the two men in the house as today Donna and the kids headed out to visit her parents. Of course Opie always opted out and Jax knew that Donna's parents were still miffed with Opie for not only being involved with the club, but he got locked up for five years and left their daughter alone to raise his kids. So here his best friend was having real adult problems that sure by him being locked up may have played a significant part in, but if Donna didn't became so adverse to the club's help or charity as she snidely claimed it to be Jax believed Opie and Donna would be fine. Though now he was here complaining about how put himself in this situation whining to his friend when Opie was really the true one struggling.

"What'd you do?" Opie asked as he folded the paper back up giving him his full attention.

"Me and Del…we've been getting close and she was at the house like she usually is and the baby kicked bro. I mean I felt my son kick something that I created and I was just so ecstatic and then there is Delilah the mother of my child, she is beautiful, smart, and she is experiencing this with me and I kissed her." Jax trailed off as he thought back to that night in his kitchen. Her jasmine scent invading his nostril and how easily they just molded together, but than his thoughts were overtaken by her wild eyes that looked scared at what happened. They were unsure and he just gave her a perfect reason that she should be.

Opie looked at his friend confused as he thought them kissing would be a good thing unless, "So she rejected you?"

"Thinking back on it, she didn't reject me because she didn't want it, but because she was overwhelmed and you know it hurt my pride a little so I went to the clubhouse – "

"Jesus, Jax," Opie said interrupting his friend as he had a pretty good idea where this was heading. He looked at his friend in disbelief, "You know you basically just shown her how easily she could be replaced right. She isn't Wendy where she is going to let it slide because at the end of the day you go home to her at night and she definitely isn't Tara and decided to stoop as low as you I know for sure if Delilah not only pregnant was out and about with Sebastian Fields we would find that boy along 44 in pieces."

"I know, Ope, I know, but she won't even talk to me."

"Well how you even going to try and justify with what you did? Throw it in her face that she doesn't have a right to be hurt because she isn't your Old Lady?"

"No, Ope, I am _going_ to fucking apologize and tell her that I am asshole."

"Jax what do you want from her. She is going to want commitment Jax. Cheating is going to be a deal breaker for her. Are you sure you are not just wanting her because she is the mother of your kid because that doesn't mean you need to be together, just be friends."

Jax looked at his friend his face serious, "I want something real, Ope."


	13. Working Conditions

“I wish you were going to still be pregnant for Halloween. Your stomach would look so cute all painted up like a pumpkin!” Luann gushed as they sat down for lunch at their table.

“Well I will still be pregnant during 4th of July maybe we can do something if I am not crabby about it,” Delilah said. Just because she was comfortable now with her pregnancy body didn’t mean in the last few months that wouldn’t change.

“Oh maybe you could do one of those mold things and make a cast of your stomach.” Luann suggested after a moment of thought.

“Sure, Luann,” Delilah said with a little chuckle.

“I am just so excited to have a baby around. The baby is going to be so beautiful. I hope Abel gets your eyes though.”

Delilah nodded. She honestly didn’t really think much about the baby’s appearance and what she hoped it inherited or didn’t. She didn’t really see the need to as she was so focused on making sure they were able to manage the CHD.

“You know Otto is sad he won’t be here. He is hurt you didn’t mention anything about the pregnancy in your last letter though.” Luann revealed as she patted Delilah’s hand and held it gently.

“Jax and I were unsure when we were going to announce the news, but how is Otto?”

“Oh, it was so nice to finally see him after he gets his visitation taken away so much. I just wish he could come home. I miss him so much. His warmth and him just being there,” Luann said with a nostalgic smile on her face as she retracted her hand.

Delilah gave Luann a sad smile, “Well it’s good you have the chance to visit him again. He is coming up for parole right?”

“Well not soon, but yeah, but his past in being violent always will work against his favor besides he has only done 12 out of the 36 years. I will be a prison widow forever.” She said trying to hide the hurt and longing.

“I’m sorry, Luann.”

“Don’t be,” Luann told her with a watery smile as she pushed some of Delilah’s hair behind her hair. “So have you thought about what we talked about the other day?”

“Well it didn’t help that Gemma showed up that night as well.”

“Honey, we Old Ladies have to stick together and sure I am Old Lady as well, but Jax is her son and he is the VP. Gemma is more proper help than me, I must admit.”

“But I am not an Old Lady, Luann.” Delilah stressed.

“Not officially, but anyways there is nothing wrong if you don’t want that with Jax, I wouldn’t blame you, but you and Jax could have something good. I really believe that.”

“I don’t know, I can’t accept cheating at all…and I mean Jesus I haven’t even contemplated the other aspects of the club as much I would like to be in the dark. I know I couldn’t be able to live in the ignorance, but do I really want to know.” Delilah told Luann with a frown on her face as her hands caressed her baby bump.

There was just so much stuff and issues when it came to Jax and now in the absence of his presence it had Gemma, Luann, and her Uncle all voicing their opinions. It was overwhelming. She wasn’t ever ignorant from the start about who Jax was and who she was having a baby with, but before she was just a friend. What Jax did or anyone of them did it didn’t directly affect her. Now since she was having Jax’s baby it was. It was going to affect her and their son. She felt no one understood that magnitude of it. Sure, it was easy for them to only look at her and Jax, but there was an innocent baby that wouldn’t have the chance to walk away from this Life. Her innocent son would grow up conditioned for certain things that frightened her a bit.

She knew she could seek out Donna’s help, but she knew she would only get the negative side and she knew if she questioned Donna about the time before Opie’s prison sentence Donna wouldn’t talk about it as if it didn’t matter and that all of it was just glamour from the Life she got sucked into. Delilah knew sure it could be true, but she just wanted something to steer her into some direction.

“Listen honey, despite what all of us say, just remember none of it matters. At the end of the day, it is you and your old man. It’s your relationship no one else’s. He knows what he wants just like you know what you want. You will know each other’s strengths and weaknesses. Just remember also you’re his guiding light – his compass – it may seem like a lot of pressure, but that’s this life – that’s love.”

* * *

 

Delilah came back from her lunch with Luann not exactly disorientated with her situation as much as she was before but she still wasn’t centered. What Luann said made sense. Whatever her relationship was with Jax it was between him and her. However, no matter how much Luann would say that or ensure her, Jax was the vice president of a motorcycle club and one day would soon be president. It would be highly stupid of her not to know and acknowledge their relationship would be public and under a microscope or more so what was going to be asked of her because she was the VPs Old Lady.

Delilah still didn’t know even how to accept that term because it came along with a crow. They literally branded themselves for these men who were entailed to do whatever or whomever they pleased too while the women were supposed to accept it and do as they were told. That was one aspect she could not just mindlessly agree too.

Delilah also knew this stress she was putting on herself wasn’t good for her baby. Delilah didn’t know she had stopped walking and only made it to one of the main reception areas when her name was called out by a very masculine voice that seemed to be popping up more frequently.

Delilah looked up and gave her signature polite smile with a verbal greeting, “Sebastian, hi.”

“You doing okay?”

Delilah had to stop herself from rolling her eyes. She respected Sebastian she really did. He would always have a space in her heart for being her first everything, but she was no longer his concern. She at first was okay with their interactions and that first initial lunch. She knew she owed him that and she thought it was just a quick little catch up and they would move on and just be cordial associates at work, but she found herself on the end of his questions in regards to everything and her baby.

“Yeah, I’m fine. Just a long day.”

“Jax isn’t causing you any stress is he?”

Delilah’s eyes slightly narrowed as she never talked about Jax with anyone at work besides Dr. Roden and she absolutely never talked to Sebastian about Jax. “I’m sorry. I don’t think Jax is relevant to this conversation in any way.”

Delilah watched as that once very familiar and enduring smile danced across Sebastian’s face when he tried for the most part to be sympathetic towards her when she was stressed or when it was one of those days, but now it was just irksome and his hand came up to her bicep and began rubbing his thumb in a circular motion as he spoke, “Look, I overheard some people talking about what Jax did and you had to – look… I don’t know how to say this, but you could do some much and deserve so much better than that jackass who walks around here like he is God’s greatest gift to the world.”

Delilah somehow was frozen in her spot as Sebastian began sprouting his words. She knew she should have moved back, but she was trying to wrap her mind around the fact that everyone in Charming seemed to know her business no doubt because of that croweater and now Sebastian was coming onto her. Delilah didn’t even register the hand that was now cradling her cheek forces her to look up into his maple syrup eyes before a voice was heard shouting out breaking her trance and she felt herself being removed from Sebastian’s grip and she got a whiff of leather, motor oil, and sandalwood.

“What the fuck is this?” She heard Jax snarl at Sebastian.

“What do you think it is? I am showing Delilah she doesn’t need to settle for an asshole like you.”

“That’s funny because I seem her to recall her dumping your ass six years ago and not only that you fucked her best friend to get back at her.”

“I was immature and dumb. What’s your excuse? You let the mother of your child be humiliated by a two bit whore.”

 “Watch it, asshole,” Jax growled.

Delilah stood behind Jax honestly confused on what exactly was transpiring and she went to intervene before Sebastian spoke.

“Or what? You going to hit me? Feeling that insecure Teller that she will see what biker trash you really are? Am I hitting a nerve or is it about the fact the only reason she only looks your way was because of one night of indiscretion.” Sebastian stepped closer his voice dropping a few decibels as he smiled wickedly at Jax. “Maybe you’re scared the kid will be calling me daddy?”

Delilah eyes widen in shock at the words that were released from Sebastian’s mouth before she could registered the sound of a sickening crack echo throughout the hospital’s waiting room. Delilah stood motionless as she saw Sebastian holding onto his nose with blood protruding out the hand covering it. It seemed all the years of training as a nurse left Delilah as she stood there trying to process the events that transpired before her as she watched Jax shake his hand before turning around leaving the room.

Delilah wordlessly followed behind Jax not paying attention to Sebastian’s protest. She didn’t know if Jax knew she was hot on his tail, but as soon as they reached his bike that was parked next to her Jeep she grabbed onto his arm immediately stopping his movement and forcing him to look at her. His whole body posture gave off that bad boy biker image with the clenched jaw and eyes narrowed in slits.

They both stood in silence. Delilah did a brief glance at Jax and noticed the only thing different about him was he seemed to have neglected shaving and she hated the part of her that actually would prefer him with a beard as she always liked how beards made a man look more rugged and more of a man, but her eyes quickly flitted away from him as she looked to the side onto the passing street and she felt his eyes scanning her like she done him.

Internally Delilah was thinking about to what _just_ happened. She knew that glimpse of an angry Jax was only a smidge of his anger. Reluctant warmth spread in her belly at the sight of an angry Jax and what she would categorize as protectiveness – although the warmth was quickly defused by the possessiveness that she realized that she just witnessed from Jax. Well partially as Sebastian was sprouting hateful words. Finally, her thoughts settled on Sebastian who she left in the middle of the lobby bleeding, but he was in a hospital so it wasn’t like she left him in the middle of the desert.

Delilah was brought back into her thoughts from the kick that came from her stomach. Her little boy provided a flurry of activity in his protective home and she knew just from mother’s intuition her boy wasn’t accustomed to not hearing his father’s voice as she knew that was why he was kicking. He wanted his father, but his father could be behind bars from this incident. Delilah looked back towards Jax and placed a hand on her stomach that Jax’s eyes immediately followed, “He could press charges Jax.”

She watched as Jax looked confused for a brief moment before her words seemed to registered and his hands went to his face and the sun highlighted the angry skin on his left hand as his hands swiped down and he looked at her exasperated, “Do you really think I care?”

“Well you should because I refuse to give birth to your son alone while you are in a jail cell. You have priors, Jax, and he is related to a Hale.”

Despite her words it seemed to just go out one ear out the other as his eyes quickly narrowed on her, “What the fuck was that in there?”

“What was what?”

“God, Del, you know what, he had his hands all over you and you were letting it happen!” Jax shouted in the parking lot.

“Well before I could handle the situation for myself you came in there throwing punches. Besides, I told you nothing was going on.” Delilah stated calmly.

Jax let out a dry laugh and mockingly replied, “Well you could have fooled me because you two looked awful cozy.”

“Oh, like you and that croweater,” Delilah bit back.

Jax’s eyes softened for a millisecond before they hardened, “Don’t fucking turn this around on me.”

“Oh, so you’re allowed to get attention from someone else, but I have to keep my legs shut tight only for you. Don’t be a hypocritical asshole.”

“You’re pregnant with my fucking kid! Not his or anyone else’s that seem to think it is a pass to get into your pants.”

Delilah pinched the bridge of her nose as she squeezed her eyes shut, “Look, I don’t feel like arguing. Why are you here Jax?”

“I came to apologize, but obviously that went to shit,” he replied as he leaned against his bike. “I know I fucked up okay…just Del…when you pulled back my head went all haywire. I know nothing can really justify what I did. I’m really fucking sorry. I mean Del, I don’t know what you fucking did, but I just want you to be mine.”

Delilah looked at Jax she knew her face and whole being indicated shock from his words – his declaration. She honestly didn’t know how to handle the way he spoke with conviction as his eyes dark and hooded as the passion hidden beneath seeped out from the sunlight illuminating them. Delilah once again saw that possessiveness that she knew that should make her turn away and stop it before it sprouted into something she wouldn’t be able to handle and let it fester into something unhealthy as she had seen unfold in front of her before.

“I don’t think it is the appropriate time or place to talk about this, Jax,” Delilah said softly.

Jax broke eye contact with her as he walked away from his bike and looked out into the parking lot for a moment before he turned back to her, his voice sharp, “Well when, Del, you’ve been ignoring me all fucking week.”

“Well you can handle a few more hours. I’m at work Jax and I would appreciate if we could talk behind closed doors and not in a parking lot where more of our dirty laundry can be washed by other people,” Delilah said distastefully.

Jax looked at her for a bit before he reluctantly nodded and then he gave her his smooth smile that she knew he probably used to get his way with any women, “How’s the kid?”

Delilah looked at the blond biker as she tried to decipher the sudden changed in his demeanor before she just shuffled it away as his way of saving the serious mood for later and she looked down at her growing bump with a fond smile, “Very active.”

“He is my kid, after all,” Jax remarked as he kneeled down in front of her and he placed hands tenderly on her stomach causing a strong kick to be felt against his palm causing them both to smile. “Hey little man,” Jax whispered to her belly and another flurry of activity started again.

Delilah observed Jax as he made small talk with his son and she swore she forgot about everything as her heart melted at the site of the big bad ass biker outside of St. Thomas kneeling before her caressing her belly and talking to their son.

However, a frown overtook her face as she became distracted by the site of Jax’s angry red hand on her stomach and her hand enclosed over his left wrist causing his eyes to snap up to hers, “How’s your hand?”

Jax furrowed his brows as if he forgotten about the injury as he looked down at her the hand and pulled it away from her belly and grasp and stood up to his full height. She watched as he flexed his hand, “Its fine.”

Delilah looked at him skeptically before taking his hand in hers as she observed no blue under his fingertips and from him flexing she suspected no broken bones, “Looks just it might be a little swollen.” She told him as she looked back up at him and she looked confused at the smirk on his face, “What?” She asked self-consciously.

“Nothing,”

“What am I supposed to say to him?” Delilah asked seriously referring to Sebastian.

“Nothing, he deserved what he got.”

“Jax you can’t just show up at my job and start throwing fists. This place signs my checks, you understand that, right. I worked hard to get where I am, Jax. This is my job – my life –“

“I know, I know, I understand and I’m sorry, but I know he won’t do anything and if he does you call me okay,” Jax interrupted and she nodded her head as a reply, “what time you get off work?”

“4.”

“I’ll be at your place then and we can talk.”

“Okay, but make sure you ice that,” Delilah added on.

“Yes, ma’am,” Jax replied and before she could comprehend a swift kiss was pressed against her lips before he walked over to his bike and settled on it, but motioned for her to enter back into the hospital to make sure she got in there free of trouble despite it being the only hospital in Charming.

Delilah entered the lobby of St. Thomas as she heard Jax’s motorcycle purr and she was brought back into the present as she needed to do damage control as she saw people giving her sneers reminding her she needed to do some damage control.

* * *

 

As expected, as soon as she pulled into her driveway, she saw Jax there who was originally over in Winston’s front yard with Opie watching the kids play with some chalk. Delilah gave the Winston family a polite wave as she walked up to her house with Jax following.

“How was work?” Jax asked her while she unlocked the door.

“Well after the excitement from the afternoon, it was fine like always,” Delilah informed him as she looked back at him while opening the door.

“So everything was good?” Jax asked as they entered the house.

“Mmm,” Delilah replied as she thought about what happened after she went back into St. Thomas. Sebastian refused to have her in his presence after he looked at her astounded she followed Jax outside. Margaret Murphy pulled her aside to inform her that Jax’s behavior was not acceptable and that display of violence won’t be tolerated again. Margaret made sure to point out that she would hate for Delilah’s career to be derelict if she continued to pursue something with Jax as she now had a baby to think about.

“What does that mean?”

“Let me change out of my scrubs and we can talk okay. Grab yourself a beer and make yourself comfortable.” Delilah told him and Jax didn’t object as he nodded his head and she heard the fridge open as she walked to her room to change.

Delilah had changed into a simple hoodie that was slightly strained due to her stomach and a pair of shorts when she walked back out into the living room where Jax was lounging on the couch his beer on the side table resting on the coaster and his Zippo lighter in his hand as he flicked it on and off.

As soon as she got further into the room, Jax noticed her presence and immediately pocketed his lighter. Delilah took a seat on the opposite seat of the couch keeping a respectable distance from him as she wasn’t sure which way the conversation was going to go.

“I’m really sorry if I got you in trouble at work. I know you worked hard to get where you are at and I would hate to be the reason for it to be jeopardized,” Jax began.

“But do you truly understand that you can’t just waltz to my job and do that over something so stupid. Do you understand how eye opening it is to see you escalate to violence so quickly? I-I’m not stupid, Jax…and it’s not a secret what the club does, but there is a difference from knowing about it to actually being a part of it and witnessing it. Not only that we have a child that I know you’re going to want to have involved in the club as you were and I understand it’s yours and his birthright, but I want options for my son, Jax. I don’t want him to think sleeping with an overabundance of women is just normal as it is to start swinging his fist instead of walking away. It’s scary and overwhelming, Jax, your world and _everything_.”

Delilah looked over to Jax who seemed to be processing her words as he leaned back into the couch and was looking out into the vacant living room. “You’re overthinking, Del.”

Delilah shook her head, “No, I am thinking logically about bridges we are eventually going to cross.”

“I’m not going to lie to you and say things are going to be easy because no relationship is no matter what and I am not going to say that our son won’t be exposed to the club and want to follow in my footsteps, but I would never force him to join. If he wants to go to college like his mom, I’m not going to stop him and by the way Sebastian deserved my left hook it wasn’t stupid.”

“Jax –“

“No, listen, Delilah,” Jax interrupted. “You have to understand this you’re with me and that means I protect what’s mine if this makes me sound like an asshole so be it, but I will fight every man – Jesus Del, I don’t even want to entertain the thought of you and another man.”

“That’s not fair, Jax.”

“Why?”

“Because I have to act like fucking Virgin Mary and be loyal to you in everything, but you get to sleep around and I have to have your infidelity thrown in my face. It’s not fair and I will not tolerate it Jax. Seriously, Jackson, cheating is a deal breaker for me that means no fucking around on me in Charming or elsewhere. It’s not just me you hurt, Jax, you hurt him too.” Delilah said with her hands on her stomach with her gaze burning into Jax as his eyes met her before looking down to her stomach. “I have to be able to trust you Jax. Trust you to be faithful, loyal, and to protect me – us – like I will for you and our family.”

Jax frowned at Delilah’s words before he got up from the couch and kneeled in front of Delilah his face millimeters away from hers, “Del, you can trust me…stop being scared and overthinking. Do you want this – us?”

“I’m not sure what us means, Jax.”

Jax placed his forehead against hers before his lips replaced his forehead and spoke, “It means no other girls, if you really want full disclosure, and you being my Old Lady, but of course we can discuss that term later, I just want you.”

“Don’t forget Abel.”

“Of course Abel, but we have a couple more months for just us. So what do you say?” Jax asked as he pulled back and blue and green clashed.

“Do you truly understand the terms and conditions, Mr. Jackson Nathaniel Teller?”

“Yes, ma’am, so how do I seal the deal?” Jax asked with a smile.

“I can think of a few ways,” Delilah teased.

Jax gave her a smirk before he leaned forward and Delilah automatically closed her eyes as Jax’s soft and hesitant lips collided with hers and she immediately responded which caused Jax to grin in the kiss and Delilah took her chance and deepened the kiss. However, Jax quickly pulled away from a sharp kick that gave from Delilah’s middle causing both of them to let out a laugh. “Already the master of timing,” Jax commented before giving Delilah a quick kiss and pulling back from their awkward position not before giving her stomach a quick kiss and a caress and Delilah tried to hide the warmth that spread through her at Jax’s action but knew she failed miserably at the smirk he was giving her.

Jax extended his hand out to her, “Come on; let me take ya out to eat after you change out of those shorts.” Jax added on after eying her legs and she was sure he didn’t realized he even wetted his lips as he was devouring her.

Delilah rolled her eyes as she accepted his help, “You’re son is craving a big fat juicy steak.”

Delilah squeaked in surprise at Jax’s move of placing her hands over him in his jeans as he cheekily replied, “I got a porterhouse right here, babe.”

Delilah immediately removed her hand and gave him a light slap on his arm, “You’re a class act, Teller.”


	14. Conditions Improving

"Jesus, this shit is expensive," Jax exclaimed in the middle of the baby store causing a few glares to be sent his and Delilah's way, which Delilah returned to them as Jax continued, "I don't understand this crib is $400 and on top of that I got to buy the mattress what kind of shit is that?"

"Kids are expensive, Jax," Delilah replied turning her attention back to Jax who was leaning over the rail of a crib and proceeding to check how sturdy it was.

Jax wasn't in his usual leather cut for their trip in pricing baby furniture. He was just in a simple white t-shirt and jeans. It was almost weird for her to not see Jax in his omnipresent cut. It almost made him seem like a total different person. It made him look softer.

"Just wait until he is older. He is going to want every toy he sees, a dog, fish…the whole toy store, really," Delilah added on as she watched Jax's tone arms flex with his movements as he wrote down the details to the crib they were interested in.

Jax placed the small notepad back in his pocket and walked back over to her where she was standing behind their cart. With his signature smirk plastered across his face totally aware of the fact she was ogling him, he bent down and gave her a quick kiss on the lips before he placed his arm around her shoulder letting her direct where they would be going next.

Since that whole episode and her telling him she wouldn't be the one to turn a blind eye to the other girls she felt their relationship had improved if it had only been two weeks since. She wasn't saying that everything was perfect. She knew they still had many more issues that they had yet to discuss and she knew once Abel was actually here it would truly test their relationship. A part of her was a little frightened what would happen to them with Abel being in the picture. There was a difference in anticipating something than when it arrived. She didn't think Jax would bail on her and mostly that assurance came from the fact she knew Gemma would castrate her own son for even thinking about abandoning his family.

Delilah could admit it was partly mostly her. She felt that maybe she would jeopardize this relationship. She knew Jax told her to stop overthinking, but maybe it was those maternal instincts that were growing stronger and firmer every day. She wasn't going to let herself be ignorant in what she was possibly going to raise her son into. Being ignorant would only crumble her family in the long run.

Delilah's thoughts were broken by Jax stopping and looking at baby monitors, not just any baby monitors, but the video monitors that were really expensive, "You know it would be less expensive if we were only buying one of each instead of pairs."

"Jax," Delilah said in a lite warning tone as her grip tightened on the handle bar to the cart. She had notice Jax had been treading lightly on this subject of them living together for the past week. She knew it was a logical topic they needed to discuss and she knew why they were having this conversation was because of their situation. She knew her and Jax's relationship would be on a different realm – different track of asphalt road. They weren't just a typical one night stand that resulted in a baby – they were a one night stand who knew each other's surface backstory that new couples slowly divulged over time in the first few months. Yes, she and Jax still needed to learn more about each other has there were layers of each other they needed to peel of one another and especially on her side; Jax didn't know the six year of history she had written like she knew his.

It was just moving in together was a big step that if it happened prematurely could really break them. It was a big sign of commitment she had never once made in her life with anyone. So it wasn't just overthinking making her cautious it was just her life experience with this one.

"Have you thought about?" Jax asked her ignoring her tone as he looked away from the monitors and focused fully on her.

"All I do is think, Jax, and this isn't something to decide on a whim. This is a very monumental decision that affects our son – our family."

"It's not like we are strangers, Del."

"I know."

"So what are you exactly afraid of?"

Delilah looked at Jax and she thought the answer would be obvious as she looked him with thoughtful eyes, but their conversation was interrupted by a sales associate asking if they needed help or if they wanted to sign up for a baby registry.

* * *

 

Delilah and Jax walked back to her jeep with their minimal purchases that included a few clothes, toys, and some breastfeeding accessories that led to Jax becoming very curious and worried if the electric pumps were even humane for her to use causing Delilah to have a loud fit of laughter in the store much to Jax's embarrassment.

Of course, Delilah wasn't allowed to help Jax load the back of her jeep that he had no problem in complaining how he hated driving cages even though she offered to drive, but Jax being the Alpha man he is refused as if being pregnant made her invalid in such a mundane task.

Delilah walked to the back of the jeep where Jax was unloading the car to bring the bags into his house. "So do you have another vehicle because a newborn can't ride bitch on your bike?"

Jax looked over to Delilah with an amused smirk as he grabbed another bag, "Yeah, I got a truck in the garage, but I might trade it in for a four door so there can be a back seat."

"Hmm," Delilah replied as she closed her trunk and went to unlock his door.

"What's that for?" He asked as walked through the door and placed the items on his kitchen table as Delilah came in after him and shut his door.

"Nothing," she replied as she looked into the bag and placed some bottles in his cabinet. "Do you mind if I stash the pump here for now?"

Jax gave an indifferent shrug as he walked passed her to pack away the items and he thought for someone that was being indecisive about moving in with him she sure did know her way around his kitchen – his house.

Jax wasn't pushing her, but he felt he had somewhat a very good read on her. Delilah even though she was strong willed and smart for some apparent reason she seemed to not be that way when it comes to personal relationships. He highly suspected it was because of her parents' ill-fated love and she didn't really have an example of a good relationship where love didn't ruin. Yes, she had his mom and Clay and Luann and Otto, but they weren't her blood family, Otto was locked up, and he couldn't even recall Del really being around Clay. He knew she was around his mom, but his mom lost _his_ biological father and he was pretty sure that tainted something within her that he was steadily trying to peel away without being overbearing.

On the living situation, he just thought most importantly it was practical for her to be here with his son under one roof. It saved them from the traveling back and forth and from buying so much baby shit because the price tags were already adding up and he didn't even factor in the medical bills if Abel's CHD turned out to be worse than predicted.

However, Jax's thoughts zoned back on Delilah who seemed to be taking out supplies for dinner and he didn't even realize there was chicken in his sink she must have set out to thaw while they were on their shopping excursion.

Jax hadn't dared to make a comment, but in the past few days it seemed her pregnancy body or boobs he should say developed overnight. Since she took off her long grey open sweater her swollen abdomen encased in maroon V-neck was very visible along with her boobs he had a hard time not looking at it and he was thankful that sweater hid some of it.

Jax never thought about pregnant women, but now he could now understand why Opie thought Donna was so attractive during her pregnancy. There was nothing hotter or sexier than a woman carrying your child. It was a major turn on he didn't expect to ever have and he wanted nothing more than to take Delilah against the kitchen counter, but despite a few heated kisses exchanged between them Delilah seemed to be hesitance despite what her stomach says elsewise.

"Hey, Jax," his eyes quickly went to Delilah's face where she looked at him with a knowing expression before she continued, "Can you take these bags back to Abel's room and I am making blackened chicken with mashed potatoes, is that alright?"

Jax walked up to Delilah giving her a smile before pressing a kiss to her lips before he spoke, "I'm fine with whatever you know that."

"Well now I feel like I am spoiling you."

"Well I have to get all the attention before the little guy steals it," Jax joked as he grabbed the bags to take to Abel's room.

...

Jax took a final bite of his second plate of food as he patted his overstuffed belly, "Shit, Del, that was fucking delicious," Jax complimented as Delilah gave an airy laugh.

"Thanks, Jax, I am glad I made a lot you have some leftovers, too," Delilah said as she got up to grab his plate.

He immediately grabbed her wrist to stop her movement, "Shit, Del, you don't need to cook and clean, I bet you do that enough after Don."

"It's fine, Jax, it's no bother, plus you have a dishwasher and my uncle is on his fishing trip til tomorrow."

"If you insist," Jax relented and Delilah planted a swift kiss to his cheek before she grabbed his plate to rinse it off and then begin cleaning his kitchen that she promptly kicked him out of with a beer to watch TV.

Jax was flicking through the channels when Delilah emerged from the kitchen and Jax set the remote down. "You done being a mother hen."

"Never, being a mother is a 24/7 job."

"You leaving or staying?"

"Leaving."

"You can stay," Jax offered and he knew that she was going to deny him and no matter how much he was prepared for the refusal it still stung, but he remembered it had to do with the layer of her he couldn't peel back.

"Maybe at a later time plus I have work tomorrow don't think it's the best time for a sleepover."

Jax placed his half full bottle of beer on his table before walking over to Delilah he was leaning against the wall bringing their bodies as close as her growing stomach would allow, "So I take it that's a promise."

Delilah gave him a cheeky smile, "Maybe."

Jax bent down and his lips descended upon hers as his hands buried themselves in her soft thick blonde hair and just before the kiss could get deeper Delilah pulled away with a flush face and smile, "I'll call you tomorrow. Don't forget Lamaze starts tomorrow."

"I'll be waiting," Jax replied and was rewarded with a quick kiss before Delilah grabbed her things and he watched her leave.

* * *

 

Jax was nursing a beer at the bar trying his best to ignore the teases the guys were sending his way as they got wind of him attending baby classes with Delilah. For the past hour, the guys had been making baby noises and what he believed breathing patterns. Jax, himself, still was uncertain what exactly these Lamaze classes were as Delilah specifically told him it was for his benefit more than hers.

He didn't understand why if she had all the knowledge why couldn't he learn by doing, trial and error, instead of spending 40-60 minutes in a class room he hadn't done since he dropped out of high school. But he wasn't going to verbally complain as this was what Delilah wanted and it would help him to be somewhat prepared on to actually change a diaper.

Jax gave his fellow brothers the middle finger salute as he dug for a cigarette before he left when he turned his head to the telltale sound of his mom's arrival in the clubhouse from her high heels.

"You shouldn't smoke that, Delilah will be able to smell it on you and definitely those prissy moms to be," Gemma wisecracked.

Jax left the cigarette in his mouth, but made no move to light it as he raised his eyebrow at his mom who looked at him more sternly, "Hey, did you just tell me that Delilah freaked out over your deodorant. Pregnancy equals heightened senses, baby." Gemma told him as she plucked the cigarette out his mouth. "But I wanted to discuss something with you before you leave."

"Yeah."

"I was thinking about throwing Delilah a baby shower, here."

The blonde biker merely shrugged his shoulders, "Well, I think that is something you have to talk to Del about, but I don't think she will mind just be mindful of the help."

Gemma snorted, "Well the only leaves me you guys to help set up and clean."

"That's what the prospect is for," Jax said grinning.

"Well can you just mention is to Del and let me know how she takes it before I talk to her about it?"

"Of course, ma."

...

Jax didn't even know where to begin in trying to digest what he just learned and experience in his first Lamaze class and it was just the introductory class. Even without the leather cut, he kept locked in Delilah's jeep, all eyes were on him. Even the instructor couldn't hide the surprise that Jackson Teller was in the class and was having a baby with Delilah Carmine, it seemed this made what they thought were rumors true. So, he had to seat in there for an hour with people side eyeing him and it didn't help that he recognized a few of the mothers to be as they made an appearance in his former dorm room bed. Luckily, Delilah didn't seem to pick up on the tension although that was because she was so engrossed in what their instructor was saying like now as Jax leafed through one of the handouts she gave out while Delilah said she wanted to talk to her about something.

Jax rubbed a hand down his face and tugged on the growing hairs on his chin as he contemplated if it was time for a shave as Delilah had yet to complain about his growing stubble as he read over what a "doula" was. He didn't know how explicitly complicated birth was and it even made him question why females even had multiple kids because so far he was put off and he had the easiest job on the maternity spectrum.

As Jax read more about a doula which he thought was unnecessary as they were attending this class it did make him start thinking about "postpartum". He already knew the club life would sometime intervene. He wasn't worried about it so much as the club was slow at the moment and god he hoped it stayed that way, but he was becoming worried that he might now be fully prepared for when Abel was actually born and how the whole dynamic between him and Delilah would fully change.

"Well I would have never expected to see Jax Teller learning about breathing techniques," a snide feminine voice called out to him breaking his thoughts.

Jax turned to the voice and took in the pregnant female who seemed to not be trying to come to terms with her pregnant figure, but Jax remembered her. She was a clingy one. Clingy Cheyenne he and the guys dubbed her as it took weeks for her to get it in her airhead that he wasn't interested in a full blown relationship. It should have been a neon sign as he was legally still married even if everyone knew in Charming the relationship was a dead end.

He actually felt sorry for the guy who got her pregnant. Jax gave a tight smile as he greeted her, "Cheyenne."

"I didn't know you and Delilah were a _thing_ ," Cheyenne asked with a tilted head.

Jax looked over to where Delilah was still at being chatty Cathy before he looked back at Cheyenne who was still standing there waiting for an answer, "We've been together for a while now."

"Was that before or after you punched Sebastian Fields?"

Jax looked at Cheyenne with narrowed eyes as he tried to decipher exactly why she was over here talking to him and the point of this reluctant conversation she was trying to have, "What do you want Cheyenne?"

Cheyenne opened her mouth to respond but another female voice came out startling them both, "Hey, Cheyenne, wasn't it?"

Jax looked to his side where Delilah appeared with a friendly smile as she stood somewhat protectively – possessively – in front of him and Jax couldn't hide the smirk that appeared on his face as Cheyenne plastered her own fake smile as she looked back and forth from him and Delilah.

"No, just making friendly conversation. Well I will let you two be."

Jax and Delilah watched Cheyenne make her hasty retreat and Delilah turned to him with narrowed eyes, but he quickly distracted her by wrapping an arm around her shoulder, "You ready to leave?"

"Yeah, I guess so," Delilah replied as he steered them to the exit. "So did you like the class because if you don't we don't have to go. I just thought it would be beneficial to you – us."

"It's just a lot of information and it makes me wonder why you women decide to have kids."

"Ha, you remember that when I am pushing out this baby and then have the nerve to ask if your son can have a sibling."

Jax couldn't help the wide smile at Delilah's slip of words because if she was at least thinking about their little boy having a sibling she was thinking long term in regards to their relationship. Jax just pressed a kiss to the crown of her head as he led her out to her car.

"So, I take it you and Cheyenne have history?"

Jax paused his walking that caused Delilah to stop too and she looked at him curiously.

He exhaled a deep breath as he itched for a cigarette, "It wasn't really history. She just _misread_ things." Jax honestly didn't want to tell her that he openly was seeing other women while he was married to Wendy, but he didn't want to lie to her either.

"Look, the only reason I am asking is because she could barely keep her eyes off you during class."

"So you were jealous that she was eyeballing me?" Jax teased.

"Well I wasn't going to punch her if that's what you're suggesting," Delilah quipped. "Also, she was just trying to goad you in mentioning Sebastian."

Jax couldn't help the frown that settled across his face at the mention of Sebastian. Delilah hadn't spared any details and he didn't really want to ask. Somehow he was lucky that the incident didn't make its way back to the clubhouse however he did see Captain America give him a few mean mugs as if his hands were twitching to arrest him for assault.

"You know you have no reasons to be jealous?" Delilah told him playing with the edge of his white t-shirt.

"Who said I was jealous?" Jax countered.

Delilah barked out a laugh as she placed a chaste kiss on his lips, "Whatever helps you sleep at night, Teller."

* * *

 

"So you and the boy…seems serious," Don casually mentioned to Delilah as she took out the baked mac n cheese she was making them along with fried chicken.

"We're together if that's what you're asking," Delilah replied.

Don looked at his niece who was preoccupied in making their dinner. Since whatever Jax and Delilah decided to end their mini argument, he had remained quiet on his opinion of the blossoming relationship.

He had no objections per say on the relationship on the surface. Jax was a good man and he had a good heart and he felt it was hypocritical for him to really have any objections since he was friendly with the club. There was just something in his gut that couldn't help but second guess if he was letting his niece- his daughter – walk into _something_. That something he knew was giving her reservations about committing herself fully to Jax and his world.

"So you're his Old Lady?"

"I think it is a little too soon to be throwing that term around."

"But that's where it is leading to," Don countered and he watched as Delilah stopped all her movement and pursed her lips in thought before she turned to face him.

"I…I'm scared that I won't be able to be the Old Lady that he may need. I've been trying to wrap my head around this new transition – phase – in my life."

Don frowned at his niece and he didn't like the feeling he got with his niece's turmoil she had stewing in her head. He knew it was there, but he didn't know how deeply it could be affecting her. He itched to take a swig from his flask, but he had been trying to ween himself off since there would be a baby in his house on occasion because despite what Delilah may be thinking, he knew Jax would somehow get Delilah to move in with him by time Abel was born, but first he needed to deal with the roadblock that would give Jax problems.

"Del, Jax just wants you to be you. Don't try to be Gemma or Luann in what you think an Old Lady should be. Sure Gem and Lu will give some advice that you should take into consideration, but your relationship with Jax is yours. Also, these uncertainties – indecisiveness – you are obviously trying to come to a solution on, I will just tell you straight it's not good. It will be bad for your relationship, but it seems like you are trying to prepare yourself for something bad to happen."

"Well I need to, don't you think? There is always the threat of an angry feud with another gang or club and what if the ATF catches wind of something, I – my son – could lose Jax to jail or bullets and it would be stupid for me to ignore that until it slaps me in the goddamn face and that would ruin us - me."

Don looked up at Delilah who was doing everything in her power to be distracted by the site of her hands as she played with the pot holder. He didn't know what to tell her because her fear was real and practical, but the what ifs would just make her paranoid and miserable. But there was something more and it was the unspoken doubt that he knew her mother planted in her that was keeping her from Jax. She didn't want to become like her mother who became so enthralled with her father that she didn't even know how function. Nicholas was like Lily's oxygen supply and once he was gone…well they saw what happened.

"You're not your mother, kid, and that paranoid shit you're going to drive yourself crazy. Yes, it's smart of you to be thinking about the risks and you would be stupid to not see the risks. However, you want to know what makes me feel settled and brings me security is that your taking these risks with Jax," Don revealed firmly. "I know that whatever shit storm that may lay on the club's doorstep, Jax would do everything and anything to make sure that shit doesn't go near you or that baby. He would move heaven and earth to make sure you two are taken care of. Yes, I know, there wouldn't a need for that if he wasn't in the club there wouldn't be any threat, but I trust Jax and maybe you need to start too." Donovan told his niece who gave him a small smile as she was clearly trying to process his words.

He gave her a kiss on her forehead and it tried to wrap his mind around the fact his niece – his little girl – was all grown up and was having a baby. Yeah, he seriously needed a drink.

* * *

 

It was Wednesday and a quiet day in the clubhouse. It was a slow day at the garage and club business was good for the most part. There was no heat with the ATF, they were good with the Niners, and they were still at a standstill with the Mayans, or the honeymoon phase, as he had coined it. They were not particularly looking to start anything with the Mayans, but the Mayans were always itching to use anything as bait to jumpstart a war. As for the Nords, Jax never really took them seriously, but at the same time he didn't underestimate them and even though they had Opie's back in Chino since he found out that they were dealing and that landed Wendy having another overdose there were a few feathers ruffled for sure.

But even though he was slightly waiting for shit to hit the fan, he was trying his best not to jinx the club business being downright boring and slow especially now that his mind was filled with baby chatter. He was still trying to slowly warm Delilah to the idea that she should consider by the time Abel is born she should make his home their permanent residence. However, Jax quickly took note that he didn't even consider that she may be put off on the whole thing since he shared that house with Wendy. He knew females were weird about that sort of thing, but he could admit he would feel some type of way living in a house Delilah shared with a significant other to a point.

Jax scowled at the thought of Delilah with any man and about how Delilah's past with any man besides Sebastian was like a ghost story, but he had no interest in talking about it.

Jax checked his phone and realized it was only 1 o'clock. Delilah still had one hour of work left before he could even drop by later on.

Jax politely accepted the cold beer handed to him by a sweetbutt when he heard a throat cleared next to him and he came face to face with Rosie, Delilah's best friend. "Rose," Jax greeted as he took a swig of his beer.

"How was your first baby class?"

Jax eyed Rosie from the side and spun on his stool to face her. Rosie didn't have a scandalous reputation per say, but she had a reputation and it made him seriously question how her and Delilah even were friends in high school and now. They were total opposites and he remembered back when she and Del were teens he heard Rosie had a one night stand with Sebastian and he wondered how that affected their relationship.

He knew though that Del was oblivious to the habit Rosie picked up due to her classic _daddy issues_ she claimed to have. Rosie wasn't as off as Wendy was, but Jax developed a low tolerance to junkies and he was skeptical if he could trust her with his son and how long he could keep this from Delilah, but Rosie seemed clean for the most part.

"Informative," Jax replied. "How are you and Juice?"

"Wonderful. How are you and Del?"

"What is this, twenty questions?"

"No, an interrogation," Rosie stated flatly.

Jax released an amused laugh, "Don't you think it is a little late for this? I mean I already got her pregnant."

"Exactly, because if you hurt her Jax. I swear to god I will vandalize your bike, cut your balls off, and use you for target practice," Rosie growled.

"You threatening me?" Jax asked still amused by little 5'6'' Rosie threatening him.

"Damn right I am," Rosie said grabbing his beer and finishing it off, "hell as no fury like a woman scorned applies to best friends as well. Keep it in your pants and don't lie or push her away if shit ever hits the fan."

Jax watched Rosie pin him down with a hard stare and he wondered what even triggered this conversation. Her last words giving him an uncomfortable feeling, "I'm not going to hurt her."

"But you will," Rosie muttered before her demeanor changed as she greeted Juice leaving Jax very confused and put off by her insinuation.

* * *

 

Delilah had just walked through the door of her house and was shuffling through the mail as it seemed her uncle forgot to take it out the mailbox before he left for the gym. Delilah worried how her uncle would survive without her and when in her absence Donna. Delilah walked into the dining room and set the two envelopes of bills to the side when a light pink envelope with "Redwood Manor" printed on top caught her attention.

Delilah tried to ignore it and just be content to just shuffle it in with her uncle's magazine, but she couldn't help herself as she sat down and tore open the envelope and read the contents inside.

Her mother's condition was improving.


	15. Unspoken

They were officially in their third trimester.

Their little man was going to be arriving soon and Jax wouldn't admit aloud that he was scared shitless. Mainly as Delilah and he began honing down on the actual details of the birth in regards what could possibly go wrong with her and Abel as they were already considered a high risk birth regarding Abel's prognosis with the CHD. So far all the Lamaze classes had done was make him fucking paranoid with all the complications of giving birth.

However, he decided to keep quiet on on his worries as Delilah was going through the last run of the hormonal spike for the past few days as she was highly irritable or tired, like now, and she demanded that he communicate with his son. She was tired and wanted to sleep.

So Jackson Teller was here in Delilah Carmine's bed as she was propped up slightly on his side rubbing on her stomach and talking lowly as he tried to calm down his active son. He didn't know if it was helping all that much, but the kicking was lessening and Delilah's body was relaxed.

He didn't expect her belly to be soft and so fragile and since her weight or belly, according to her had shifted, her balance had been a little shaky. Jax could admit he had become a little more overbearing and she had no problem voicing her annoyance, but if you asked him, he would deny it even though it was the truth. He was able to cool her down with a promise of a foot message in the privacy of his house though. The father to be knew it was a shady move on his part to only do that one deed at his house, but it got her there more and more comfortable than she already was at his place.

She didn't comment on it yet, but he hoped she was becoming warm to the idea. It wasn't as if he she had to stay with him in his room, even if it was more ideal, but he had guest room that she could claim as hers.

Nevertheless, despite the hormonal spike, Jax suspected there was something else nagging her. She seemed more lost in her thoughts and he knew it wasn't about Abel because she would have a smile on her face. This was something different as she was in deep concentration and a sad or angry frown would take over her lips.

When he would snap her out of her reverie and questioned if everything was okay she would easily dismiss his concern and pass it off as she was thinking about work or a patient. He had let it slide and just reminded himself that she would tell him when she was ready or maybe the pregnancy was weighing her down more than she was letting on.

Jax took his gaze off Delilah's expanding belly and looked up at the mother of his son to find her watching him intently her facial expression indescribable. Jax couldn't help the flush that took over his cheeks and up his neck at being caught having an vulnerable moment despite Delilah witnessing him these one-on-ones with her stomach for a while now.

"Don't go all acting shy now," Delilah said as her hand went to play with his blond hair.

Jax instinctively tilted his head into her hand before he grabbed her hand and placed a kiss on her palm before scooting up next to her, "I thought you were tired."

"I was, but now I'm feeling _ravenous_."

Jax quirked an eyebrow at Delilah's statement and hoped to god he wasn't reading into the innuendo. The only thing he could comprehend in that moment was the sound of Delilah releasing a giggle before he felt her weight in his lap and her lips on his.

"Just remember my boobs are sensitive," Delilah whispered against his lips as she brought him back into a hungry kiss.

Jax had to admit he had been anticipating this for weeks. They had been dancing around this for quite some time and Jax could feel the build up from the wait as Delilah grinded against him in his denim jeans.

Despite his love for Delilah's silky hair, he was glad she had it up in a bun as it gave him unrestricted access to her jaw and her neck and before he knew it he felt his shirt being pulled up and over his head.

It seemed in the separation from her soft lips as his head leaned back against her headboard and watched her remove her top and became bare to him that it hit him – that he realized it what he had been feeling. He been hit by the proverbial arrow as she gave him a lustful smile with her plump bottom lip caught between her teeth and her eyes were evergreen and sparkling like a Christmas tree.

Going against her frenzied kisses, Jax took control as he gave her a slow and languid kiss before it somehow turned to desperation as he tasted her lips, her skin, _her_ and it caused him to pull back abruptly.

"Delilah, wait," he panted. His pupils, like hers, fully dilated as he read her face.

He watched as her eyes contained a slight glare that was laced with bewilderment.

"I love you," he extemporaneously blurted out.

Instead of feeling liberated as he expected panic seeped into his bones as Delilah looked at him with concern – fear.

Delilah shook her head, "No, don't say that," Delilah muttered as she immediately removed herself from his lap and went to cover herself. "You're only saying that because of the baby."

"Delilah," Jax called out as he got up from the bed, "I'm not saying that because of the baby."

"Yes, you are. You don't even know me," Delilah refuted angrily.

She tried to make her way to leave the room, but Jax immediately blocked the door rejection wasn't even on his radar. He didn't even feel the sting of it. He was just confused.

"Jax, move."

"No you're going to talk to me and tell me why I can't love you and what the hell has been bothering you for the last few weeks."

"There isn't anything to talk about Jax."

"Do you love me?" Jax asked bluntly to her and he watched her face get a storm of immense sadness and her eyes began watering. Jax didn't know if she was going to answer, but he or her wasn't going to leave this room – this house – without some type of answer and explanation. He didn't understand how she didn't expect something like love to come into the equation especially when they were about to be raising a family together.

"I can't," Delilah finally replied in a tired and broken voice.

"What the hell are you talking about you can't?"

"I watched how love ruins people Jax. How it crimples since the person becomes so infatuated with someone. I don't want to lose myself like that Jax."

Jax buried his head in his hands as he tried to wrap his mind around what the hell she was even trying to tell him, but it dawned on him the one person they haven't discussed in her life: her mother. "Is this about your mom? Is she who you have been thinking about?"

"I got a letter a few weeks ago apparently she is improving and not in her self-induced stupor anymore."

Jax ran a hand down his chin as he tried to figure out what to tell her without sounding cliché or cheesy. They all knew Lily's story how when Nick went missing she tried to end it. She tried to end the pain of her husband just being gone. He remembered clearly how his mom would toss the words weak around about Lily since the accident. Yes, it was tragic Nick leaving her alone to raise Delilah by herself, but his mom said that should have given her more reason to live and not opted out, but he could see where the fear would be rooted in Delilah. She was her mother's daughter there would be characteristics that were bound to be passed down to her.

It didn't help that her parents and other adults have showed her such a skewed version of love. In his experience he didn't have such a pleasurable resume, but he knew it could be great and he could admit he almost lost himself or became crimpled. However, Jax decided to at least get her to talk about her mom since that seemed the bigger issue at hand – it was the root.

"Do you want to talk about your mom?" Jax expected her to decline so it was genuinely surprised by her words.

"I hate her. She left me, voluntarily, but I'm just so tired of being anger and sad about it. I mean what gives her the right to want to get better now and what can she possibly say to even try and justify this," Delilah went on as she began becoming hysterical and Jax immediately gathered her into his arms and he felt the warm tears on his bare chest as he tried to console her until she calmed down.

"I hate her so much, Jax, I try and bury it, but it sabotages everything," he heard her mutter against his chest.

Jax took his hands and cradled Delilah's face and wiped away the salty trail of tears away with his thumb, "I know you probably hear this a lot, but you're not your mother."

"Jax, I'm just scared, that'll lose myself with you."

"You don't need to be scared, Del." Jax told her and it made him wonder really what her relationship was like with Sebastian in high school and the one relationship she mentioned in college.

"I'm scared I won't be enough for you, Jax. You'll go just like my dad – not missing or something like that – but just gone from me in that sense and I would be a wreck."

A frown overtook Jax's face as he listened to Delilah's deep rooted insecurities. He tried to understand how his declaration opened all this. Jax brought Delilah back into him as much as she could with her swollen belly allowed as he kissed the crown of her head.

But those same insecurities she had about him he could share with her. Delilah had made a life for herself. She had an important and serious career for herself where she could exceed anywhere other than the small town of Charming. She could find herself someone who wasn't an outlaw biker and could offer her the world outside of bullets and blood. If anything, Jax was holding her back and when she realized that he would be the one left a wreck – in ruin – and he didn't even factor in their unborn son.

Jax didn't know where to even take the conversation so he only said the one thing that he could think of and that made sense, "I love you, Delilah."

Jax felt her tighten her arms around him in response.

...

Jax stood in the doorway of his childhood room as he watched Delilah sleep peacefully in his old bed. They were at his mom's house as she insisted on having a BBQ. He knew Delilah didn't want to be there, not because she didn't want to go, because she was just tired all the time. Plus, it was her day off and she wanted to spend the day in bed, but of course, she knew it was all about appearances with the club so she dressed up in what he would say was a very tight fitting dress that really emphasized her pregnancy breasts that he was unsure on how to deal with. According to Lamaze when she begins nursing they could become larger although it was a plus for him, but he didn't like the lingering stares she was receiving from people like Tig.

But at the end of the day, she was his and he didn't verbally say it yet, but she was his Old Lady. She was having his child. Despite those insecurities that she laid out to him a few days prior, it didn't change anything. In fact, by her telling him, it meant she was trusting herself with him, it meant that she must have been battling those deep feelings he would label love for him for her to be frighten about their potential.

Jax jumped when he felt a slap on his shoulder and turned to the source which was Piney Winston who was looking at the scene he was with a fond – nostalgic – smile, "You better appreciate this silence now, because once the baby is out it's going to be a lot of crying and Del is going to be riding your ass for something." Piney teased.

"Is this supposed to be fatherly advice?"

"Just stating facts," Piney replied while taking a hit from his oxygen tank.

Jax shook his head as at Piney's comment and he fiddled with his Zippo lighter before he spoke up and asked Piney about one of his insecurities that he felt he could trust Piney with, "You think I can do it?"

Piney looked at him at first confused before his eyes widen as he caught on to what he was asking before another one of those nostalgic smiles overtook his face, "Sound just like your father. Do _you_ think you can do it?"

Jax tore his gaze away from Delilah as he looked at Piney before turning his gaze down to his feet as he replied, "I'm just scared that I'll screw him up – her. Will I be a good father? Provider? Will I be able to protect them?"

"You're thinking like a father. We all have those doubts and fears, hell I still have them and Opie is a grown man. You'll make mistakes, its natural; there ain't exactly a manuscript. You and Del will have war of words. Things will get tough, but the love you will get from them…makes you feel like superman. So don't fuck it up."

"I don't plan too," Jax said somberly.

"Your dad would love to be here to witness this, his son becoming father, you'll make him proud besides don't forget Don won't let you fuck up," Piney joked as he gave Jax another pat on the shoulder before making his way back outside to where everyone else was at.

"Were you watching me sleep?" Delilah asked groggily.

Jax turned his head and looked back inside his room where Delilah was getting up from the bed and as if she sensed him about to go over and assistance her she put up her hand to stop him causing him to roll his eyes.

"I'm not a damn cripple, Jax." Delilah commented with a scowl on her face that Jax thought was damn adorable with how her nose scrunched up.

"I know, I know," Jax acknowledged, "but you are carrying special cargo."

"Well you remember that he is special cargo when he is crying at 2 in the morning and he needs fed or changed," Delilah added on as she reached him and Jax's hands immediately went to rest on her hips bringing her close enough where her stomach was pressed against his and he could feel some movement from his son. "Your mom already told me you were a clingy baby, always had to be held. You were a proper ole mama's boy."

"Gossiping with my mom now?"

"Yep, I am surprised your ears don't ring all the damn time, but you still didn't answer my question."

"What?"

"Were you watching me sleep?"

Jax shrugged his shoulders not giving her an answer. "Creeper," Delilah kidded and gave him a chaste kiss before grabbing his hand and leading him back outside.

...

Jax was sitting at the patio table with Bobby as the club's treasurer relayed his latest drama involving Precious. Jax was trying his best not to laugh, but he couldn't help it. Jax actually liked Precious, but she was one of those women who couldn't be stuck at home and be a full blown Old Lady. She needed a Life outside of the club. She never looked down on the club as she knew what Bobby was involved in, but he could tell the Life took a toll on them, but Jax suspected it had to do with Bobby not keeping his belt buckled.

But Jax wondered how Bobby seemed so disconnected from his kids. He didn't understand how Bobby was letting some Guido bounty hunter take care of his own. Despite the illegal shit they did, Bobby was a good man. He was the voice of reason for the club and was a valued member. So he was confused on how those traits of his loyalty and love for his club didn't translate to his family.

However, maybe Bobby was being loyal and showing his love for his blood family by not being there.

Jax's attention however was stolen when Delilah's laughter flown through the backyard. Jax found her standing with his mom and Luann in a circle. His mom was looking at Delilah with a fond smile that he knew was from her just carrying her grandbaby and he highly suspected his mom actually liked Delilah since she did practically help raise her. Luann, of course, had her hands on Delilah's belly. Every time Luann was around Delilah, her hands had a permanent place on her stomach. On the other hand, Luann wasn't keen on being called Grandma just yet.

Jax released a smile as he took a swig from his bottle of beer and Bobby's voice entered his ears, "So, can we say she is your Old Lady?"

Jax slowly placed the beer bottle on the table as he looked at Bobby the question didn't even need to be contemplated as he released a wide and somewhat proud and cocky smile as he responded, "Yeah, she is."

Bobby gave him a nod as he took a sip of his own beer and looked at to the three women in their view, "Does she know it?"

As Bobby asked the question, as if she knew they were discussing her, Delilah turned her head towards him and gave him that one smile that he knew was reserved for him where she would try not to grin, but the blush on her cheeks gave it away that she was also thinking some impure thoughts, but it was also the one that just showcased her happiness with him. He made her grin like that.

Jax got up from his seat and turned to look back at Bobby with a grin, "Yeah, she knows."

* * *

 

Delilah was currently running a toy truck across her stomach as she lounged in the Winston's living room. Since she was bigger and waddling, Donna forced her to sit down while she gathered some of Kenny's old baby clothes and paraphilia from the garage. The two women had the house to themselves as Jax and Opie had volunteered to take the kids out for the day.

Delilah appreciated the separation from Jax. Now she wasn't ungrateful and didn't want to complain, but Jax was coddling too much. She understood this was his first pregnancy and she was indeed waddling and her balance was challenged at the moment, but she couldn't even walk to the bathroom without him hovering. Additionally, the topic of her moving in with him became more prevalent and she could hear the annoyance edged in his voice and she felt he wasn't even asking anymore he was demanding that she move in with him.

She felt that he would get tired of asking and one day she would just find her stuff there in his house. She was lucky Gemma and her Uncle had so far remained mum on the living arrangements. She knew her Uncle did not really care if she was there or at Jax's with the baby. He just cared that she had a roof under her head for her and the baby.

She knew mostly after the baby was born that was when Gemma would begin harping on her about where she and Jax were heading. She knew Gemma would not just be happy with the grandbaby and that Jax and she were civil. But no, Gemma would need the marriage, white picket fence, and crow tattoo.

It wasn't as if she didn't want to move in with him it was just after her breakdown with him proclaiming he loved her that it made everything so real and scary.

She berated herself immediately afterwards for letting herself be that raw and vulnerable in front of someone like Jax. She didn't know if it was foolish for someone like her at 24 should still have those insecurities.

She knew she shouldn't let her mom have so much control over her, but there was no resolution. She had no answers from her mother. Her dad left and she couldn't be upset because she didn't know if it was voluntary or he had no control over his predicament. She could admit her memories of her father had faded over time and she could say those memories of him were replaced with her Uncle. Her uncle was her dad, but her mom…she left voluntary. Delilah remembered finding her mom on the floor convulsing and the white vomit foaming out of the mouth.

She remembered screaming for her mom to stop shaking and she felt her veins about to burst from her screaming.

However, she remembered what happened before how her mom caressed her cheek softly and told her how she missed her father and she just wanted to be with him.

She knew it could be irrational for her to think she could turn out like that if god forbid if anything happened between her and Jax.

But then the thought hit her like a tidal wave that made her drop the truck she was rolling on her stomach.

"Hey, you okay?" Delilah jumped startled at the sound of Donna's voice as she came further into the living room. "Sorry didn't mean to frighten you."

"It's fine comes with having baby brains," Delilah responded as she placed her hands on top of her stomach. Being 31 weeks pregnant now she was becoming tired of being pregnant. She was tired of peeing, being out-of-breath, and the backaches. She firmly believed her body wasn't made to carry a baby.

Now thinking about it with Jax coddling her so damn much she should have him take over in rubbing her lotion to reduce stretch marks over her belly.

"So how are the birthing classes?" Donna asked as she opened the cardboard box with Kenny's old things.

"We just learned about focal points to help reduce pain while in labor." The past Tuesday the instructor said they should focus on a crack in a wall or ceiling to help them relax when she was pushing a human being out of her vagina.

"Does Jax like the classes?"

"I think so. They make him so damn paranoid, though."

"He is a first time daddy. I mean I am surprised and not surprised at the same time of how cosseting Jax is though."

Delilah scooted forward on the couch and took out some of the clothes in the box to scan through, "Yeah, now I can understand some woman's annoyance with that, but I mean I am grateful and appreciative he is hands on."

"Have you been experiencing Braxton Hicks contractions?"

"No, not really, but I know next week they will start coming. So are you coming to the baby shower?"

Delilah personally did not want a baby shower because she didn't exactly have a lot of people or friends to really make a party for a baby shower, but Gemma wasn't going to take no for answer plus Delilah was having Jackson Teller's baby the town would send her gifts out of respect. Delilah personally was trying to wrap her head around that fact that she was of importance that being an Old Lady was held such in high esteem. But her one stipulation for the baby shower was that she did not want all those women Jax slept with to be catering or the petty ones. She already had to deal with that Cheyenne girl who seemed to be more interested in Jax than learning how to reduce her labor pains.

Delilah wouldn't say she was bothered by Jax's history, but Cheyenne had no respect for herself eyeballing Jax when not only was Delilah there with him, but Cheyenne's baby's father was right next to her. Delilah thought that really wasn't much of relationship Cheyenne was just in it for the child support.

Delilah really wanted Donna there and she hoped Donna could overlook it being run by Gemma and that it would be at the clubhouse.

"Of course, I will be there and Ellie wants to come I hope that is alright."

"Of course it is, the more the merrier."

"So as far as the birth and Abel everything will be okay?"

"Yeah, Jax and I agreed that we want them to try and fix Abel's heart as soon as he is born. So it's a little scary, but I trust Dr. Roden and Namid plus the CHD, I mean it's a serious condition, but it is not as critical as it could be."

Delilah tried not to think too hard on the negatives of Abel having CHD. She knew that may be immature on her part, but she really did trust the doctors. Plus it seemed Jax didn't like to bring up this topic unless he felt it was necessary.

"Well, it's a good thing he has yours and Jax's blood running through his veins."

"Yeah, I just can't help, but worry especially after the birth and just as he grows up. Will I be a good mom and things like that while on top of that I am worried Jax won't be satisfied with this life that he didn't necessarily sign up for," Delilah said with some uncertainty in her voice as she folded another one of Kenny's outfits that she liked.

"Well that is just being a mom having all those worries," Donna told her with a smile before she looked at her critically before she gave her another smile with a thoughtful look before she spoke, "Do you love him?"

Delilah opened her mouth than immediately closed it into a thin line as he felt the weird sensation flood her body that brought tingles and warmth. Then came the recognition that been fighting to admit. She had known for a while she had felt that way no matter how much she tried to hold it down. To find some way to diverge her feelings onto just because she was pregnant, but she had to admit that would always play a vital role in the blossoming of her feelings.

Some days she tried to pinpoint when this abstract feeling occurred since she had been written off that she was just attracted to Jax physically. Yet she thought this feeling materialized when she was over at his house. It was a Friday night and he had actually decided to skip out on attending a clubhouse party when she mentioned she was alone and bored for the night. She planned to make a trip to the grocery store for some snacks when he offered to pick them up for her and they could make it a night at his place.

She remembered they were watching _The Boondock Saints_ and Jax was watching the movie intently as she turned to observe him as the light from the screen reflected off his face. He was so absorbed in the movie it gave her a chance to admire him uninhibited.

Jax as she always known was a handsome man. Since it was dark she couldn't really admired his eyes, just his chiseled profile. He looked younger without his cut on and with his mind not occupied with club business. She actually liked that he seemed to want to grow out his stubble. She had yet to tell him she had a thing for beards. They weren't there yet despite their circumstances.

She was pressed against his body as his toned arms were rung around her and his fingers were playing with the tips of her hair.

She didn't know how long she had been staring at him remembering the fine details of his lips, nose, and even his eyelashes before as if he finally sensed her looking at him when he asked if she was okay. She simply nodded her head as he buried her deeper into his side and he placed a kiss on the crown on her head as his hand before settled on top of her stomach.

She felt the feeling. Those words burned the tip of her tongue and the balm would be just to say it. Just to tell him against his lips.

So she gave Donna that nod of confirmation, "Yeah, I do."


	16. Visits

 

They were officially done with their Lamaze class and it made the prospect of birth much more real for Delilah. The due date was drawing nearer. Her pregnancy seemed to fly by faster than she expected. She was a mixture of trepidation and excitement. She already felt like a mother she truly did, but she knew feeling and being one were totally two different things and she knew her visceral reaction to this was currently squeezing the life out of Jax's hands as they were leaving the room.

"Are you okay?" Jax asked concerned and Delilah pulled her hand out of his immediately and flushed in embarrassment. However, the father of her child immediately grabbed her hand giving a kiss to her knuckles, "You know you can tell me, anyway, plus as I recall I am here to make this less stressful for you."

"Well I would hope since you put me in this predicament in the first place," Delilah jibbed.

"Hey it takes two to tango, darlin'." Delilah stuck her tongue out as a response. Jax brought her closer to him and leaned down and gave her a slow languid kiss that was quickly becoming inappropriate for the public, but the kiss was interrupted by the sound of shuffling feet and a squeak being released. Delilah swore she would have went into labor from shock if she didn't know why the person her and Jax were currently staring at was here.

"Tara?" Jax asked breaking the silence in the hallway.

Delilah could say Tara looked exactly the same with her pale skin and long straight dark brown hair just a little bit older and mature.

"Jax," Tara greeted politely and turned to Delilah. Delilah could see Tara didn't immediately recognize her at first, but then it dawned on her, "Delilah Carmine?" She said with shock in her voice as she looked from her face, belly, to Jax, and back at her belly.

Delilah answered with a polite smile, "It's good to see you Tara. I'm sorry to hear about your father."

"Oh, shit, yeah me too," Jax said added on coming out of his stupor.

"Thank you, I really appreciate it," Tara responded politely.

They all settled in a silence before Delilah turned to look at Jax, "You know I am going to ask our instructor something. I'll be right back." Delilah informed them as she walked back into the direction of the classroom.

Jax followed Delilah's retreating form before he turned back to look at Tara who was in as much of a stupor as him in seeing each other in this situation. Jax could admit he used to fantasize about them being reunited. Some days he would give her the cold shoulder or sweep her up in his arms. But now, he didn't know what exactly he felt because he felt nothing, but gratitude.

Maybe it made a difference since he knew Tara's dad was in the hospital as his drinking caught up to him and Delilah delicately told him about Frank Knowles' situation. Of course, despite his non-existent relationship he always had with her dad, he was sad to hear the old man was going to die alone and he didn't even know if Tara kept in contact with her dad as she seemed to make it a point to steer clear of Charming and everyone that inhabited it. But thinking how Delilah seemed hesitant and cautious about revealing the news to him a couple weeks ago, he still didn't believe that changed anything now.

Tara, of course, was still beautiful. She was that classic beauty he was drawn to about her in high school. The only thing that was different was she seemed more mature and happy and he knew it that happiness that outlined her green iris was because of her leaving this town - him.

"So, if I interpreted this correctly, you and Delilah are having a baby."

Jax nodded his head with a smile, "Yeah, a boy. Delilah is 8 months along."

"Well, congratulations," Tara replied with a genuine smile.

"Thanks, how about you did you accomplish your dreams of becoming a big shot doctor?"

"Yes, I am a neo-natal surgeon in Chicago, it was hard, but I accomplished my dreams."

"So now you're Doctor Tara Knowles that has a nice ring to it." Jax commented before there was a lapse in silence.

Tara cleared her throat before she spoke, "Look, Jax, I'm sorry with how I left and then I never tried to –"

"Hey," Jax interrupted, "it's the past, now. No hard feelings…if you would have stayed you would never achieved what you wanted and Delilah and my boy wouldn't be in my life."

"How long have you and Delilah been together?"

"Eh, not long actually, it's not the most convenient romance. I must admit," Jax said self-consciously.

"Oh Jax I don't mean to pry, I am just surprised Don let this happen." Tara said worried she overstepped a boundary.

"Just trust me I was scared for a little bit and I am still on edge around him."

Tara released a small laugh, "Well he does own a gym that specializes in boxing."

"Don't remind me. So how long are you in Charming?"

"My dad, he is fading fast. So I don't expect to long, but I am on family leave so I don't have a set time table."

Jax placed a comforting hand on Tara's shoulder, "Shit, Tara, I'm sorry."

"It's fine," Tara said giving him another smile.

Jax looked at Tara and gave her a sad smile as he thought about how he used to love her so much. How he thought he would never love someone as much as he loved her. Then he thought about how she gutted him by leaving. He thought about how he was a shitty boyfriend for not supporting her in wanting to make a life for herself while he had a pity party for himself that she wanted a life outside of him. He would always love her that was something he would never deny. He would never repudiate how much she meant to him. But he didn't love her the way he loved Delilah and seeing Tara made it abundantly clear.

"I'm sorry, Tara."

Tara's smile instantly turned to a confused frown, "For what?"

"Because I was a shitty boyfriend for not supporting you for wanting to go to school to be a surgeon," Jax stated.

"Jax, really, now thinking about it, it was for the best, I hate how we ending it, but it was for the best."

"That's why I want to thank you," Jax said sincerely. "I want to thank you for leaving because then we wouldn't be here."

Tara responded by giving him a bittersweet smile and he could tell his words had lifted a weight off her shoulders, "You're going to make a great father Jax, but you make sure you treat Delilah right."

"I bet you didn't expect that though," Jax said with a smile referencing to him and Delilah.

"I've seen stranger pairings." Tara said replying with her own smile. "Well I think I took enough of your time. It was good seeing you Jax."

Just for old time sake, Jax brought Tara into a friendly hug, "I am proud of you Tara and those babies are lucky to have you as a doctor."

Tara pulled back from the hug, "Your son is lucky to have you as a father. I am sure I will see you around since Charming is so small, but take care Jax and give Delilah my best wishes as well."

Jax nodded his head and watched Tara leave when he felt a hand wrap around his forearm and he turned to look at Delilah who was watching him with a fond smile and he couldn't help but smile at her, "I know what you did."

He knew Delilah left him and Tara alone on purpose. He particularly didn't know if he needed it, but it was nice to have some closure on that part of his life since Tara did play a significant role in the man he became.

Delilah just shrugged her shoulders in response. Jax placed a kiss on the crown of her head and they both began walking out of St. Thomas to their respective vehicles.

...

It seemed everyone from their past were making visits in their lives. Jax watched as Delilah chewed on her thumbnail as she was lounging on his couch as her mind was occupied with her plans for tomorrow. She was finally going to visit her mother as she apparently specifically requested to see if she would come.

Delilah knew she couldn't lie to him about how much this was affecting her because he knew what she felt about her mother. The pain her mother's absence inflicted on her.

He was glad Donovan was at least going with her because he felt this was stressing Delilah out and it was too late in the game of her pregnancy to feel overwhelmed emotionally like this.

He just didn't know how to help Delilah. He even asked his mom what he should do and she said it would be good for Delilah to finally have a proper conversation with her mom about what she did. His mom hoped Delilah gave Lily a verbal ass whooping although he could tell there was something else his mom was trying to hide to him about Lily. She seemed worried about the potential recovery.

Jax wished his brain wasn't so foggy about Lily, but he couldn't really remember a damn thing about her. He remembered Nick as he was more prominent around the club and his house, but Lily seemed to always be in the background.

Jax ran a hand through his hair as he looked at Delilah and pulled her hand away from her mouth causing her to look at him with a wide eyed expression, "You know if you want me to, I will go with you."

Delilah gave him a small, but grateful smile, "It's fine, I'm just trying to figure out what I am going to say to her without setting back her recovery."

Jax gave a kiss to her knuckles, "Be honest with her because your mom would be extremely naïve to think it will be all rainbows and sunshine anyways."

"You're right," Delilah agreed.

"I'm always right," Jax replied with a cheeky grin and bent down giving her belly a kiss after seeing some movement. "I swear that is some weird shit."

"Stop it, don't swear around your son," Delilah scolded.

Jax laughed, "Like he can even understand me," and Jax was rewarded with some more movement. Jax had figured out depending on his tone of voice his son would either become more active or would reward him with small movements before becoming still.

"He understands more than you think," Delilah replied with a scowl on her face.

Jax gave her a slight pout before he stretched himself over her being careful where he distributed his weight and planted a soft kiss on her lips, "Don't be like that babe." Jax pulled back and couldn't help the smirk on his face as her face still held a deep scowl. Jax bent down and pressed a more eager kiss to her lips and couldn't help but smile into it when she began responding back.

Delilah brushed her hands over his biceps before she wrapped her arms around his neck pulling him even closer to her despite her stomach creating a barrier. Delilah slowly brushed her tongue over his lower lip slowly demanding access he easily gave her letting their tongues roam together.

Jax shifted them so she was in his lap and his mind went into overdrive as her hands glided down from his neck to underneath his shirt and he couldn't help the shiver that overtook his body at the feel of her hands on his care skin.

Jax broke away from his lips and begin kissing and sucking lightly on her neck.

"Jackson," Delilah whispered as he licked her skin and her hands found home in his hair as she slightly tugged it.

Jax had just slithered his hands under her shirt to unclasp her bra when a ring echoed in the room startling them both.

"Fuck," Jax grounded out and he felt Delilah try to remove herself off his lap but he held on tightly.

"It's yours and it could be important."

Jax just growled in his throat, but let Delilah off his lap to retrieve his phone. Jax felt like he was going crazy. It had been 8 months since he last been with Delilah and had to be at least four months since he had sex in general. This was the longest he went without sex since he began having it and he did not like it.

Jax wiped his hand down his face and tugged on the hair on his chin before he flipped open his phone while Delilah gave him a sympathetic smile.

* * *

 

Delilah sat still in her uncle's truck as she looked at the exterior of Redwood manor. The facility as the name suggested was a converted mansion that she still tried to understand why someone would even build an extravagant place like this in Charming. She looked at the antique building she tried to recall the last time she was here because the emotions she were feeling now, she didn't feel last time.

Delilah was brought out of her musings when she felt her uncle's hand enclose over hers, "You don't have to do this, sweetheart."

Delilah shook her head, "No, I need to…do this for me."

Donovan nodded his head and they both got out of the car.

Since Donovan was a regular visitor the staff and some of the residents greeted him as if he was their neighbor for the past twenty years – well technically he was. Some people seemed to remember her or they mistakenly referred to her as her mom and she honestly hated the reminder.

All Delilah could focus on were hers and her uncle's echoing footsteps down the hall to her mom's room that was on the second floor of the mansion at the end of the hall. It reminded her when she was younger how she used to wear her nice white sandals with a sundress that Luann bought the previous week to showcase to her mother. Luann would always tell her how pretty she was and how her mom will love her dress. She never got a response even after she twirled in the dress in awe to her mother. She never understood it than.

Donovan and she just reached her mom's door that was creaked halfway opened. She remembered the interior. It was a rustic orange with dark wooden floors. Her mom's room was more of an apartment really since her mom was still able to perform basic functions without assistance if she chose too.

Donovan entered first and for the first time though, there wasn't dead silence coming from the room. There was another voice responding to her uncle's usual greeting to her mother.

Delilah entered the room that seemed to be highlighted by the natural light of the sun where she saw her mom there in the middle of the room standing next to her uncle.

Her mom looked so alive and her long blonde hair that used to be as long as Delilah's was now was cut short into a wavy bob. Her mom didn't look so frail and dull. Her mom looked radiate in her light blue jeans, yellow tank, and gray cardigan.

Delilah was so lost in observing her mom and the transformation that she realized her mom had embraced her in some sort of hug and Delilah felt her body become hit with a monsoon of anger as her mom pulled back and caressed her face and spoke in her soft voice that Delilah used to crave to hear, "I'm so sorry."

Delilah backed away and placed her hands protectively over her belly, "You don't get to say that."

"I know –"

"No, you don't know," Delilah angrily interjected. "You left me alone for your misery over dad. You forgot about me. You forgot that I was included in your world to just to sit here for what? Did you ever think about me at all when you decided to give up? Did you think about what you did to me and Uncle Donovan? Why did you decide to wake up now?"

"Because it was time, baby," Lily said as she made to come closer to her. "I know what I did was wrong – unforgivable – I just want to atone for what I did. I want to be there for you and your baby."

"No, no, you can't just think I would let you back that easy," Delilah said dumbfounded.

"No, I know," Lilly amended hastily, "I understand there needs to be some adjustment for you."

"Why am I here?" Delilah asked her mom and looked at her uncle who was watching the interaction silently.

"Besides trying to mend and to get to know you now, I may be able to leave the facility soon. I wanted you to hear that from me."

Delilah shook her head as she tried to make sense of her mom's words, "I want to be happy that you are obviously doing better, but I can't. You've been gone from my life for damn near twenty years and you expect to waltz back in not just into mine, but my child's life too."

"No I expect to work for it, to earn my place in your life. I understand that I may never be considered your mother because I failed at it, but I would settle just to be your friend."

"I don't know, this is too much right now, I am just going to wait in the car," Delilah said more to her uncle before she turned back to Lily and gave her a weak smile and left the room as she hastily wiped her eyes from the warm salty tears that were leaking out.

Donovan walked to the doorway and watched as Delilah's frame walked further and further away from this room – his sister. He let out a little chuckle, "Well I was expecting worse, Lil."

Donovan turned to find his sister looking deep in thought with her arms crossed before she sat down on her bed as she spoke, "She wears our ring and the necklace her father gave me."

"So want to tell me the real reason you decided to join the land of the living," Donovan asked cutting through his sister's bullshit.

"She's having Jax Teller's baby."

"Your point?"

"You know my point. I can't live knowing my daughter and grandchild will be in that life surrounded by Clay and Gemma."

"Hey, you can't turn a blind eye to the shit that Nick was involved in – he was born into. He is half as guilty of bringing in the mess that club is involved in."

"Yeah and he tried to rectify that or have you forgotten since you seem all cozy with them now especially since one of them knocked up my daughter," Lily commented bitterly.

"I let it go, Lily. I let the past stay dead. I ain't right with it, but it happened and I didn't opt out and leave my only living daughter behind."

"You don't understand."

"What don't I understand? Because no one else forced those pills down your throat," Donovan whispered hotly as he looked at his sister who had her head down in shame. "No matter what went down with Nick you can't use that to justify your broken heart."

"Oh so the same can be said for you with killing your liver with alcohol."

"But I have never checked out. I made sure Delilah had a roof over her head. I went to the school functions, sport games, graduations from high school and college. I support her with everything. So don't you damn sit here and act all high and mighty."

"And I am very thankful." Lily told her brother honestly. Lily knew her words would never be enough to express how her brother took over the role of a parent to her daughter.

"She is happy with Jax, Lily. They are creating a family together. They don't need our bullshit messing with that. If it makes you feel any better Jax is JT through and through. Delilah is in good hands with him so don't go bleeding all over them." Donovan told his sister sternly before he made his way out her room.

* * *

 

Jax was antsy. He hadn't heard from Delilah since this morning when he called her to ask if she was sure she didn't want them there.

He didn't like the thought of Delilah being in any distress and it didn't exactly help that it was because of her mother. There wasn't anything he could exactly do about it, but wait for her to call him or something.

But it seemed time was moving so goddamn slow. He knew it took close to 40 minutes to get to Redwood Manor and he added time to account for the non-existent traffic that Charming had. He next accounted for an hour tops that Delilah would sit and talk to her mom. He had a gut feeling he was being generous with that time because he knew with how much resentment she held towards her mom he suspected 10 minutes maximum. Then he thought Donovan and her would have some time to decompress after the reunion so overall in his calculations it would be 2 and half hours before she would send something his way.

Jax lit another cigarette and took a long drag to let the nicotine try to calm his frazzle nerves when he heard his name shouted across the lot and it only belonged to one person his mother.

Gemma was leaning against the doorframe of the office as she eyed her son across the lot. Since he showed up on the lot he had been burning a hole through the cement and all the way to China.

She knew what had her son in a haywire. Delilah was seeing her weak mother, Lily.

Gemma wasn't necessarily on edge, but she knew once Donovan passed on to his comatose sister that Jax impregnated Delilah it would snap her out of the funk. Gemma had half the mind to visit her former best friend herself, but she remembered last time she visited that gash when she could talk and the next thing she knew her friend was being sent to the ER.

Lily was always sneaky ever since they were kids. She knew Lily would find some way to sabotage her family especially since Lily found herself always on some righteous path.

However, Gemma had Delilah as an advantage. Lily didn't know her daughter anymore, Gemma did. Gemma could see the hate and resentment Delilah had for her mother and she knew Delilah would take anything she had to spew with a grain of salt.

Plus, she was confident Donovan would make sure his sister didn't fuck anything up either because this would hurt Jax and Delilah the most.

Gemma leaned off the doorframe and went into the office as her son followed her. Gemma sat down at the desk and folded her legs as she looked at her son, "Still haven't heard from Delilah?"

"Nah."

"You're worried," Gemma stated matter-of-factly.

Jax ran his teeth over his bottom lip before he sat back on the couch and looked at her, "What can you tell me about Lily before she went into that facility."

Gemma raised her eyebrows and tilted her head up in thought as she had a hard time separating how she felt now to then with Lily. "Lily was mischievous. She didn't grow up in a preacher's home like me so she was a breath of fresh air for me when we were young. But she wasn't very dependable unless you had a dick, caused a lot of problems with us to be honest, but she was there and didn't turn her back on me when I returned to Charming with you and your dad. She met Nick and she fell hard for him. Lily was always the type to sacrifice who she was for a guy so it got rocky especially when her and Nick started to have problems –"

"Nick and Lily had problems?" Jax interrupted.

"Yeah, it was around the same time when Thomas took a turn for the worse and we sort of had a falling out as she felt I wasn't there for her emotionally. I _know_ she could be very self-centered at times," Gemma added on at the look of disbelief on Jax's face. "It's hard to separate Lily who left her daughter to the person I know because in a sense it had always been there, but I loved Lily like a sister. We had fun. Delilah looks just like her, but they are two totally different people, which I am grateful for. I think we can thank Donovan for that and that she just didn't inherit that from Lily." Gemma told her son as she eyed him. Gemma gave her son a fond smile as she spoke, "Do you love her, Jackson?"

Jax eyes flicked to hers before they down casted back to his white sneakers and nodded his head before looking back up at her, "Yeah, mom, I do."

Delilah had just pushed open the door when she came face to face with Jax, "I'm sorry I should have called."

Jax shook his head and placed a quick kiss on her lips, "Nah, it's what I gave you the key for. You're welcome here whenever you feel like it."

Delilah gave him a small smile as she shut his front door and she sniffed the air, "Are you trying to cook dinner?" She asked him amused as he flushed in embarrassment.

"I attempted to cook dinner, but it didn't turn out to well or as tasty."

"Do you want me to whip you up something real quick?" she asked as she ventured in the kitchen and looked into the pot to see Spaghetti, "Let me guess you burned the noodles?"

"Don't make fun of me," Jax said with a pout on his face as he came up behind her his hands finding their neutral spot on her hips and planted a kiss on her cheek, "besides I ordered pizza."

"I'm surprised you're able to stay in shape."

"Well your cooking certainly doesn't help," Jax replied and was rewarded with an elbow to the gut. "Hey I wasn't complaining." Jax told her as he bent down and his chin settled on her shoulder and he placed his hands on her swollen belly and he knew what he was about to say next would sour the mood, "Do you want to talk about it?"

Jax felt her whole body deflate and her fingers trailed along the edge of the pot his spoiled food was in before he backed up a little as she turned around to face him. Her eyes held unshed tears as she played with his white t-shirt. "Just promise me to never leave our child voluntarily."

Jax's hand cupped her cheek as his thumbs rubbed a soothing motion as he looked at her intensely, "I'm not going anywhere, Delilah."

* * *

 


	17. Showers

"That is some weird shit," Rosie said in amusement as she watched Delilah's stomach contort with Abel's movement inside from the side of the couch. "I mean oh my god you have a human in that tiny space in your belly."

Delilah let out a belly laugh at her friend's musings as she lounged on her couch exhaustion settled deep in her bones.

Rosie was declaring her signature stance that Delilah was slacking in the friend department however she could give her a pass since she was pregnant. Delilah suspected though the only reason Rosie was here now was since Jax was busy with "club business" and he just wanted someone else here to keep an eye on her.

As they got closer to the due date the coddling became more extreme especially with the added stress of her visit with her mother still weighing heavy on her mind.

Nevertheless, it was still nice hanging out with her friend because she could admit her time had been consumed with work, preparing for the baby, and Jax.

Thinking on it, since the whole pregnancy had been made public to everyone Rosie had been scarce in general. She really didn't have any idea what her friend did in her spare time besides the fact her and Juice were something and Jax revealed that Rosie decided to work at Juice's colonic spa. Delilah didn't know if it was such a good idea for them to mix business and pleasure considering their somewhat rocky relationship.

"So how are you and Juice?" Delilah asked as she rolled down her shirt and Rosie took a seat next to her on the couch.

Rosie gave her friend a happy and relaxed smile at the thought of her and Juice, "Right now, we're good. So I can't complain."

"So is it a good thing you two are working together?"

Rosie initially was adverse to the idea of working with Juice or more so under him. He just owned 20% and was a backing investor. So he technically wasn't like her boss or manager. Juice and she really wouldn't be interacting at the shop. But Juice and her agreed that she needed to surround herself in a new environment away from the people she interacted with at the bar where she bartended and so far it worked, "We're not really like working together. He just owns stock in the shop. I won't directly really ever be dealing him. I like it better than the bar though."

"Well that's good."

"Yeah, so you're really letting Gemma take the reins in the baby shower?"

Delilah shrugged her shoulders, "She wants to throw it so I just decided to let her."

Delilah didn't plan on having one to begin with, but Gemma seemed intent on throwing her one so why not let the grandmother of her firstborn child throw one. Besides, she expected Gemma to be more overbearing than she actually was so far. Delilah was already mentally preparing for Gemma to become more involved after the birth especially in regards to her relationship with Jax. On the bright side, Gemma was handling really everything with the shower all she had to do was just show up.

"Yeah, she made me vet certain croweaters who would be allowed to grace your presence."

"Shut up," Delilah scolded lightly. "You make me sound like I am royalty."

"That's because you are," Rosie stated to her best friend. "You are Jax Teller's Old Lady; you earned that respect and should demand it."

* * *

 

Gemma walked into Jax's house expecting to find her son either lounging on the couch or sleeping, but she heard the shower running down the hallway.

Gemma gave the house a once over and was shocked to find it remarkably clean. The last time she checked her son didn't hire a maid and she certainly wasn't cleaning up after him. Gemma walked into the kitchen and immediately opened to the fridge and expected to see just beer making up stock, but her son had actual food although most of it looked like leftovers.

It didn't take long for Gemma to connect the dots to where her son's food source was coming from. She wasn't surprised especially after the revelation that he was in deep and hit hard by cupid's arrow. As she looked around the house that had a slight feminine touch, she expected more of Delilah's touch in the home.

Gemma made it a point to back away into interfering or meddling into Jax's relationship with Delilah. The only reason she _meddled_ was because she believed Jax didn't exactly know what he wanted or where that relationship was heading. Now though, she hoped Delilah and him were at least discussing the living arrangements because she didn't want to be carting her grandson back and forth between homes. It wasn't a ridiculous notion and Gemma knew that arrangement worked well. The matriarch didn't judge, but that wasn't _her_ family. She knew though Jax would be easy to sway into convincing him to have Delilah move in. Delilah was just the problem she suspected.

"Hey ma," Gemma turned around to find her son in his usual attire of a t-shirt and jeans as he greeted her with a kiss on the cheek as he grabbed a beer from the fridge and sat down. "Everything okay?"

Gemma nodded her head and took a seat opposite from her son, "Yeah, I was running some errands for the baby shower and I decided to stop by. The house is cleaner than I expected it to be," Gemma mentioned casually to her son who was sipping on his beer.

"Yeah, Delilah makes sure the house is decent."

"Decent, it is more than decent it is practically spotless. She come around a lot?"

"Every other day or so," Jax estimated.

"You guys thinking about moving in together before the baby is born."

Gemma watched her son tense slightly before he gave up drinking his beer and looked at her, "Trying, but Delilah seems hesitant so I'm not going to push her, but she did mention that she would come here with Abel for the first week or so. I am hoping with that she will see it would be easier to stay here."

Gemma leaned back in the chair as she pushed up her sunglasses as she wanted an unobstructed clear view of her son's facial expression when she asked this, "Is Delilah your Old Lady?"

She watched as her son released a wide toothy smile as he grabbed his beer off the table, "What do you think?"

* * *

 

Jax placed his helmet on his handle bars as he walked up Delilah's porch where he found sitting on her patio swing enjoying the summer weather of Charming. She was wearing a white summer dress with her hair down in her lose natural waves and was glowing. She was giving him that one smile she had on reserved for him as he greeted her with a kiss and his hand rubbed along her stomach.

"How you feeling today?" Jax asked as he took a seat next to her on the swing.

As she just hit her 33rd week, Delilah had been experiencing some Braxton Hicks and he knew she was having trouble sleeping. So he didn't really feel comfortable leaving her to go on this run when she could go into labor and this weekend was her baby shower, but luckily he would be home by the end of that.

He also knew she was itching to give birth to Abel.

"I'm fine, besides feeling like a balloon."

"You look beautiful," Jax countered as he gave her a once over again and he couldn't help bit his lip as her full breast in her dress and just the site of her carrying his child. He also zoomed in on her legs where he had been already sketching the design of his crow on her leg. He already had been fantasizing about her legs one with his crow on her wrapped around him.

"You are so full of shit."

Jax shook his head as he leaned over and kissed her shoulder and whispered in her ear, "I ain't lying, darlin'. You look fucking sexy in this dress you have on and you are already irresistible carrying our son."

Jax smirked as he saw her skin flush before she nudged him with her shoulder, "Stop it," she admonished lightly. Jax shook his head before he started planting feathery kisses along her shoulder and traveled up to her neck causing Delilah to squeal, "Jax, we're outside."

"So, people know how to look away," Jax replied as he nibbled on her ear before she pushed him away with her hands.

"Are you excited for your run?" Delilah asked and just like that his mood collapsed and Delilah noticed, "I'm sorry am I not supposed to ask?"

"No, it's not that," Jax said as he leaned back on the swing and watched a few cars pass by, "With the due date being so close by I don't want to be that far out – away from you."

Delilah gave him a sweet smile, "Well if it makes you feel any better, I don't think Abel will be making an early appearance."

"Well that is so comforting," Jax mockingly said.

"What's the run for?" Delilah asked curiously.

"We're doing a toy drive with our charter in Arizona," Jax said. He was technically telling her the truth, but it was the half-truth and it made him feel guilty because if anything did happen he would not be there because of the club. Also, he still contemplated how much he would tell her in the future. Now, since she was pregnant, he justified that she really didn't need to know they were delivering guns. She didn't need the worry. Just with telling everyone she was his Old Lady, he need to figure out if they would have full disclosure, but she hasn't made any indication of breaching that topic except her fears of not being enough for him.

"That's nice and very charitable."

"Helps with the image, I admit." Jax mumbled as he played with her long golden hair that easily glided between his fingertips. However, as he studied Delilah's profile he saw a pensive look come across her face as she bit her bottom lip. "What's wrong?"

Delilah let out a huff as she looked over at him unsure and turned back to look at the front of her lawn, "I know we haven't done anything and I am aware of certain indulgences that are expected on runs, but could you not sleep with anyone."

Jax looked at Delilah with entertained eyes. Even though they exactly haven't down anything which he had just accepted and was just going with her pace, he didn't have no intention of stepping out on her if he was on a run or not. Jax gave her a smile as she covered her face in awkwardness but he quickly grabbed them with his own hands and kissed her knuckles, "You don't need to worry about that darlin', but can I ask one thing from you?"

Delilah raised her eyebrows, but nodded her head.

"Will you be my Old Lady?"

Delilah's evergreen eyes widen and with the sun out Jax thought he saw specks of gold in them as she considered his question and what he was asking of her.

Jax in his mind had been labeled her as his old lady and he knew she already knew they had been treading on this territory. They had been exclusive for the past few months despite his one fuck up and in his world – the club – Delilah was his Old Lady. He just really at this point wanted the confirmation coming out of Delilah's mouth. Delilah really controlled and had the reins of this relationship. He was going at her pace. So he just needed to hear her validate what was already known because what was stopping him slapping some ink on her was the fact she was pregnant.

Delilah sucked on her bottom lip and gave him a smile – that smile, "Aren't I already?"

Jax thought his face would have broken with the wide smile the etched across his face as his took in Delilah's words. Jax's hand immediately found the back of her head as he pulled her into a deep and hard kiss, but all too soon he felt his phone buzzing in his pocket and he knew it was one of the guys calling him to inform him they were getting ready to head out. Jax pulled away from the kiss and leaned his forehead against hers and whispered, "I gotta go."

"Mmm," Delilah replied with her eyes closed. Delilah planted a delicate kiss on his lips before she pulled back, "Ride safely."

"Always."

* * *

 

Jax was sitting at SAMTAZ's bar watching his various brothers partake in the numerous and questionable acts of debauchery. He had been approached by his fair share of sweetbutts vying for their chance to have time with the mother charter's VP, but Jax had gently rebuffed their advances.

He knew practically all the carters heard the news he was having a kid and he knew croweaters talked between charters, but by the looks he was receiving as he remained unoccupied for the night they didn't know he was serious about his Old Lady – the mother of his son. Although his reputation didn't help since he always strayed while he was married to Wendy.

He just knew he could never breach Delilah's trust in that way and she really didn't need to say anything before he left about him not participating in these indulgences. Deep down inside of him, Jax really wasn't the man whore he made himself to be. He could be faithful. He was faithful with Tara when they were teens. Sure he may have ruffled her feathers a few times, but he never betrayed Tara's trust by sleeping with them. He would send a few flirty winks and jibs, but they were innocent.

It was just until Delilah, he didn't have a real relationship. He felt like an ass to Wendy and hated to disregard anything about their relationship, but maybe if she didn't have the crank problem he would have toned down on accepting the indulgences that came with being a patch.

Plus, it was easy for Jax to keep it in his pants despite what people thought.

If it was worth it to him there wasn't any need to seek comfort elsewhere.

He could admit though sometimes it was easier to just use sex to forget the worries that plagued him and to just escape and be numb, but afterwards he just felt empty sometimes and it made the loneliness he used to be plagued with much more deafening and destructive.

But Jax didn't want to kill his slight buzz but those thoughts.

He had Delilah and his unborn son now. He could be the man he wanted to be. He wanted more for himself now.

Jax was broken out of his musings when he felt a slap on his shoulder and his step-father came into his view, "You alright, son?"

"Yeah, I might call it a night soon though."

"Really? Isn't a little early for you?"

Jax simply shrugged his shoulders, he was road weary anyways. Plus he had to cash in on his sleep now before he had a newborn reroute his sleep cycle.

"I see you been turning away a lot of attention," Clay continued, "Didn't know you and Delilah were that serious."

Jax looked at his step-father with a raised eyebrow, "She's my Old Lady." Jax stated boldly.

Clay looked at his son impressed. He honestly was still trying to figure out how Jax planted his seed in Delilah. Delilah was a respectable girl and a tremendous upgrade from Wendy, but there was just history there. However, Clay didn't want to amuse those thoughts tonight. Tonight he wanted to see where his son's head was at in becoming a father in a few weeks.

Clay didn't necessarily doubt that his stepson wouldn't make a good – great – father; he just knew that with becoming a father it would create a psyche shift with his son. Clay didn't have anything to worry about yet as Jax didn't seem that distracted by the new transition that would be happening soon. It was just with Lily seemingly wanting to get better Clay needed to make sure everything was kosher.

"So you two ready for a baby?"

"Not like I much choice in the matter."

"Well you know we're here for you son – you and Delilah. She's a great girl no doubt she will make a great mother and Old Lady. I'm glad to see despite the initial circumstances you two were able to work things out."

"Me too," Jax agreed.

"She wasn't too upset about the run coinciding with baby shower?"

Jax shrugged his shoulders because Delilah herself didn't give any indication if she were or not, "Not as much as Gemma." Jax remarked with an amused tone as his mom literally had steam blowing out of her ears when she heard about the run that seemed to appear out of nowhere.

Clay released an amused smile himself at the thought of his own Old Lady before he gripped his son's shoulder, "You'll make a good father, son."

* * *

 

Delilah was impressed – really impressed.

The inside of the clubhouse was virtually unrecognizable as the dark dingy décor was overtaken by bright blue and light green decorations everywhere. However, despite the interior being unrecognizable and it smelled of flowers inside of stale sex and booze. Gemma had SAMCROs presence or emblem there with the Reaper replacing the family friendly image of a stork carrying the baby. Delilah already knew Gemma had special beanies and onesies made for the baby with various SAMCRO emblems made.

Since this was her baby shower, Gemma forbidden her from doing any work or to help. She was ordered to just relax as Gemma ordered some croweaters that Rosie vetted, apparently, around to set up.

Delilah still didn't know to really interact with them. Now obviously with her present they were being nice to her and were being very respectful to her and especially Gemma. She just knew most croweaters were really catty. She really didn't want to think about them too much because that led to her thinking about how many of them were familiar with Jax. She would like to think Jax wasn't with any of them and Delilah frowned as she usually didn't let herself dwell on those thoughts as Jax was with her and now she was officially his Old Lady.

"You okay, sweetheart?"

Delilah turned to find Gemma approaching her with some tape as she just hung up the last of the streamers. Delilah nodded her head and gave Gemma a smile, "Yeah, I really like the set up here."

"Well I figured I might as well go all out might be my only shower I'll ever throw."

"You never know you might get another grandchild."

Gemma cocked her hip and tilted her head, "Honey, I feel you and Jax are only going to grace me with grandsons."

Delilah's face tinted pink at the notion of her and Jax having any more children together. She definitely was not thinking that far ahead, but it seemed Gemma certainly was. "I think we should just focus on Abel for now." Delilah said hoping to redirect the conversation involving her carrying anymore kids other than the one that was currently in her stomach.

Gemma nodded her head, but she wasn't down with making some small talk with the mother of her grandson and her son's Old Lady, "So you are alright with Jax being on this run?"

Delilah shrugged her shoulders, "I mean I can't really be upset. He has obligations to the club so I can't whine really. Yes, I mean I wish he wasn't making trips with me so close to my due date, but I'm not going to sulk."

Gemma couldn't help the smirk that came across her face from Delilah's nonchalant response because unlike her she was readying to shove her size 9 boot up both her husband's and son's asses for making this run with Abel's due date coming so soon. Gemma was not too happy about that. Gemma looked back down at Delilah and she thought that pregnancy really agreed with her. Gemma thought Delilah would get bigger than she was because of her small frame, but Delilah was still small. Her weigh did seem like it was coming from her stomach which was nice and round. Gemma could see where her son was concerned that Delilah would just topple over because of the weight distribution. However, Gemma was paying attention to how Delilah seemed to be monitoring the interactions of the croweaters.

"By them doing this, it is their way of showing you respect. They want to do it."

Delilah looked back at Gemma before looking back over to the croweaters following Luann's instructions, "Yeah, but I know the minute I am out of their site they have no problem rubbing up on Jax."

"Well once you pop out Abel make sure you educate," Gemma advised as she placed a kiss on Delilah's cheek and left to head outside to begin greeting guests that should arrive any minute.

Delilah was shocked to find the main room to the clubhouse filled with people from Charming coming to celebrate this milestone in her life. She barely talked to half of the women that were here and you could see the social divide as they stuck in their own clusters, but Delilah surmised that Gemma and Rosie were right about people coming to come and give their well wishes.

Delilah of course tried to mingle with everyone to be polite, but Gemma was the real social butterfly with greeting and making sure everyone was comfortable and was having a great time even though Delilah didn't think a baby shower was that much of a party.

Delilah had excuse herself from a group of girls she found out that worked with Luann. They were all really nice especially a young blonde one named Lyla she enjoyed talking to, but once Rosie joined the group the conversation got really explicit when she started asking for advice.

So for now, Delilah was rummaging through the food and drinks to snack on something as she watched Donna chat with Opie's mom, Mary. Delilah ran a hand through her hair as she scrutinized Mary. She knew Opie's relationship with his mom was strained at best and Mary tried her best not to interact with Piney. She knew Mary left Piney when Opie was a teenager taking him with her, but Opie wanted to be here in Charming – with the club. It wasn't until Opie married Donna and had Kenny and Ellie that Mary reentered the picture. She seemed like a decent grandmother, as she offered to take them, but she knew Donna had reached a point with her after she would bad mouth her own son for being in the club as if Donna really needed to hear that on top of everything. Heck, Delilah was surprised Mary made the effort to even attend this in Charming.

A frown settled on her lips as her thoughts settled on her own mother. Since the ill-fated visit, she tried to occupy her mind with other things and not think about the fact her mother would be soon in her life maybe not directly, but her uncle seemed content in letting her mom back into their lives as if she wasn't _gone_.

Jax tried to get her to talk about it, but she didn't want to. She didn't want to waste her breath talking about someone who abandoned her for so long than just make it seem like because she was pregnant she would let her be a grandmother. Maybe Delilah was being selfish, but why couldn't her mother come back for her.

Donovan at least seemed to let her stew in what she was feeling, but she knew the time would come where he would intervene and tell her to give Lily a chance. She wanted to give her a chance, but she was just so used to living without her. She didn't have the emotional room or capacity to deal with her mom.

"I thought I told you to take it easy."

Delilah whipped her head towards Gemma who had her eyebrow cocked at her.

"You are just as worse as Jax," Delilah muttered.

"I heard that," Gemma responded as she stood next to her, "Something on your mind?"

Delilah gave Gemma an overenthusiastic smile as she responded, "Nope, I am just peachy."

"Really because I haven't seen someone stare at Mary that hard since she used to do damage to a stripper pole."

Delilah eyes widen and she tried to cover the laugh that almost escaped her lips at the thought of Mary on a stripper pole.

"You thinking about your mom?"

Delilah really hated how Gemma seemed to intuitive she didn't know if it was a gift or she should be irked that Gemma just knew or Delilah seemed to be giving off the vibe of mommy issues.

Delilah grabbed a chip as she muttered, "Reluctantly."

Gemma approached Delilah and throw some of her hair over her shoulder as she looked into what she knew would be her future daughter in law down the line, "I may be a little harsh right now considering your mom used to be my best friend and your hormones may take this wrong, but when am I ever not blunt." Gemma said as she looked at Delilah who was looking at her curiously. Gemma brought a wayward hair out of Delilah's face as she spoke, "Your mom did you a favor, sweetheart. In the long run, she did what she thought would be best for you in her misguided ways, but just think you wouldn't be here, or have that fancy nursing degree, and might not be with Jax or have the precious baby boy that will be arriving soon." Gemma placed a kiss on Delilah's cheek and redirected her away from the food as she seemed to be mulling over her words, "Now can you seat so when my son arrives. He will have our asses."

Delilah rolled her eyes, but sat down anyways and some of her coworkers came by and joined her.

* * *

 

"Jesus Christ, this is a lot of shit," Jax huffed as he brought in the last box of baby paraphilia into Abel's nursery. The bed of his truck was filled to the brim. Jax wasn't sure if the guests got the memo Delilah was having a single baby not twins.

"Well what can I say, our son seems to be very popular," Delilah said from her place in the door as she enjoyed the show of Jax making multiple trips back and forth from his truck. Of course, she wasn't allowed to lift a finger to help.

The guys arrived right when the baby shower was winding down. Jax arrived a little later as he came back to the clubhouse with his truck to load the gifts as her jeep would have only fit two boxes at most.

Jax merely grunted at her words as he looked around at all the boxes.

"Well don't forget if we have some extras we can always give them to Gemma and Donovan to have at their house and we might need them in the future."

Jax looked at Delilah as he processed her words about the future and he walked over to her and leaned on the opposite side of her as he looked at her thoughtfully, "You want more kids?"

Delilah tinted pink as she shrugged her shoulders, "Maybe. I don't know. I haven't really ruled it out, but I think we just need to focus on the one we have coming. You want more?"

Jax rubbed his hand down his face and pulled on the hairs that were taking residence there as he thought about his answer. She was right they needed to focus on the one they had coming, but a part of him knew he would like to make Abel a big brother one day. His minimum was at least two kids and if he had more it would be great. Plus, he remembered what it was like to be a big brother and he wanted Abel to have that title of being a big brother like he did. He knew his mom would be ecstatic if he gave her a litter of grandchildren. However, he just had one stipulation, "As long as you're their mother."

Delilah had officially turned into a wet – very wet – puddle at Jax's answer and she almost had the urge to smack the smirk off his face as he looked at her smugly with half-hooded eyes.

However that didn't stop her from meeting his lips in a very desperate and frantic kiss as Jax held her to him with his hand at the base of her neck as his tongue pushed passed her teeth to let it swirl with hers. But he broke the kiss causing Delilah to let out a whimper of disappointment and she felt his hot breath against her neck before he nibbled on her ear, "So you're staying the night?"


	18. After

People always say you remember your first. Not your second not your third always your first.

As the sun fought in peaking in between the white plastic blinds on the windows, Delilah was already up due to the flurry of activity that was currently taking place in her stomach. She was laying on her side with the thin white sheet pooled at her waist leaving the upper half of her body exposed and highlighted by the sun's touch.

To her left, Jax, who was equally naked as her, was lying on his back with soft snores escaping from his mouth.

Delilah felt a pool of warmth spread in her and the lingering euphoric sensation Jax gave her last night settled in between her legs along with sets of the goosebumps overtaking her skin as she looked at Jax who seemed to be totally relaxed – sated.

For the moment, Delilah chose to ignore the fact she looked like she swallowed a watermelon, because the way Jax looked at her last night, she didn't think any man ever looked at her the way he did. She could see the adoration – the want. He was prepared to devour her and take everything from her that he could get.

His icy blue eyes – the icy chill – made her own body shiver in anticipation as he drank her in. Something they didn't do the first time. He made sure to get acquainted with her body despite that her condition made her body more sensitive – more receptive to the exploration and pleasure that she had been denying her body albeit even if it was somewhat limited.

Delilah sort of regretted in being so tentative in letting Jax get to know her this way, but man she was glad she waited because then it wouldn't have been like it was. They would haven't been so connected, so attuned with each other. Because he had her seeing stars, he set fireworks off in her body that she was still sparking from.

Now, she understood how feelings and emotions really changed how sex went. How amazing it could be to physically show someone how much they mean to you. She always saw how addicting it could be.

Delilah shuffled closer to Jax's sleeping form being careful not to stir him from his slumber. He looked so much younger and his true age of just 30. It scared her to see how much he looked so different and how being the Vice President of a motorcycle club put more weight on his shoulders than he gave off, but she didn't want to focus on that part of Jax. She wanted to focus on what was in front of her.

The toned arm that kept her in a protective embrace through most of the night, was free of any markings unlike his other that paid homage to his father. Both of his arms had two different tones from where his sleeves of his tees protected him from the sun. She passed his arm to look at the firm and taunt stomach that had the indentions of a six-pack. She tried to think when Jax even had the time to work out and how he even kept his body in shape because all he seemed to drink was beer and coffee and she necessarily didn't provide him with healthy food. He had a light dusting of hair on his toned stomach that gave promise to what was hidden beneath the sheet. Delilah itched to run her fingers down his stomach just to see them constrict as they did last night and she remembered how he pinned her by her wrists to stop her ministrations. As she expected and already knew from previous experience Jax was very domineering in bed – not too much, but he really liked having the rein she knew eventually that would have to change, but she would let Jax take charge for now.

Delilah focused back on his face after he let out another contented sigh from his lips.

 _Those_ lips.

Those lips should be illegal.

Those lips should be a sin with what they were capable of, even the most holiness of nuns and devout church ladies wouldn't be able to resist conspiring with the devil once they found a spot of flesh to mark with his teeth and sooth with his tongue.

Delilah bit her own lip, but a small pout took over as she lingered on his growing beard that would be soon gone as Jax didn't like how it burned her skin. She tried to plead with him to not shave it because she really liked it and this sensitive skin madness was only because of the pregnancy. So while she was settled in his lap her large belly between them in between some very heated kissing they negotiated that he would grow it back out after Abel was born.

It didn't make any sense really, but she didn't care as he distracted her with those long lithe fingers.

Delilah scooted closer to Jax and wrapped his arm around her as she took a hold of his hands. They were so big, firm, and calloused. They signified he was a working man. His hands had did many things and were capable of many things. None of the guys she ever been with had rough hands like Jax. Past hands didn't caress her like she was made of glass. The way they gripped her as if he was afraid she slipped away. She thought back to their first night how different the two were back then his hands gripped her to remind her that he was there with her – to remind her of his presence afterwards.

She was sure if she wasn't carrying precious cargo she would felt a little bit of that delicious pain that caused her to lock her legs around his waist and moan his name that caused him to increase his pace.

Even last night, she saw and felt an animalistic surge in Jax when she began chanting his name and he brought out low and breathy moans. She will admit she did release a couple high pitched screams she wasn't sure if anything she said was tangible.

Delilah rested his hand on her stomach and she rested her head atop of his chest where his heart was beating a soothing lullaby.

A lullaby that she wished she could put in a jukebox or a jewelry box that she used to own as a child with the twirling ballerina inside or maybe even a snow globe with the white paradise and glittering surrounding them.

A lullaby she hoped to hear every night and felt privileged to know that melody was written just for her.

Like she said every one talks about their first, but no one every really draws the significance of their last.

The last one that will know you the best.

The last one to show you the world.

The last one to show you that all the bullshit from the past was worth it.

Delilah felt Jax's breathing change as his hand tighten on her stomach for a second . She felt him shift and his tattoo arm lifted and she watched from the corner of her eye him try to wipe the sleep from his face.

Delilah snuggled in closer to him and she felt a slight pressure on her head before the arm that was rested on her moved and he began rubbing her shoulder soothingly.

Delilah let out a content sigh at the contact and both of them just rested in the silence – in the after glow.

Delilah closed her eyes as she focused on the instrumental beating against her eardrum.

"I'm scared, Jackson," Delilah declared as she drew patterns on his abs and watched them flex with each new design.

Jax placed his hand under her chin and those blue eyes were staring at her so intensely so lovingly when he brought her into a slow and languid kiss until he pulled back slightly and whispered against her lips, "I know."


	19. Abel

Gemma normally didn't make it a common occurrence to really stay and hang out at an after-church party longer than she needed to. She didn't need to educate anyone on the fact that Clay had a good and proper Old Lady at home. Of course, once in a while, she would get the occasional brave croweater trying to vie for Clay's attention. She honestly welcomed the chance to let her claws out and remind everyone who was the head bitch in charge and Clay with his fantasies still thrived off a good catfight.

However, she also didn't expect someone else to be here this late: her son. Delilah was very close to her due date and she was surprised he wasn't hovering over the mother of his firstborn son especially since he told her that her Braxton Hicks were becoming more frequent and Delilah felt it was best to take her maternity a couple days before the estimated due date instead of up to that point.

She had been eyeing her son from her spot over by the couch across from the bar where she was wrapped up in Clay's arms.

She was impressed with her son. He was ignoring all advances of the croweaters who were catering to his every whim despite his disinterest in them. Sometimes it really did amuse her how these croweaters were desperate for a chance to get a peak at her son's dick. It was downright depressing, but she blamed her son in his idiotic decision to marry fucking Wendy. It made all the croweaters think they were good for anything than just being a warm hole for the guys to stick their dicks into and to open beers. They actually thought they were proper Old Lady and wife material.

Gemma could really blame Lenny for really embracing the loose girls that trailed after the guys like mice following breadcrumbs. When the club first started it was just her. She sometimes missed it because there was no drama and she didn't have to deal with watching every one of these men lose some very strong Old Ladies because of their wandering dicks.

She didn't blame them because she really didn't like the thought either of Clay stepping out on her, but she knew this club and she knew these men. Clay knew what he had at home and he best to make sure that shit didn't follow him home and slap her in the goddamn face.

That's where she admired her son. Even though he was just a prospect and then a newly patched in member when he was with his high school tart he never strayed. Her son could be faithful. But she also knew he could use sex in the wrong ways. He used it as a coping mechanism. He did it when his father passed before he found Tara and after Tara left him. That was why a little part of her was worried. She tried not to overthink, but her son always lets his heart drive him.

Yes, the club was quiet at the moment and she hoped it stayed that way, but she was worried because her son could be misguided. She felt this was just a by product of being married to John and knowing Jax was his son. She hated when her thoughts turned to what exactly John passed down to Jax, but she saw how Jax looked at Delilah.

She knew if something would happen, the way _stuff_ just happened in the club, Jax would do what John did. He would isolate himself, push away the ones he loved the most because of their misguided mission to protect them from the club.

Gemma shook her head and turned and gave her husband a kiss on the cheek, "I am going to head to the bar, you want a beer, babe?"

"Nah, I'm good," Clay replied as he loosened his grip on her. Gemma planted a kiss on his lips and gave the hangarounds he was socializing with a smile before she made her way to her son who was tormenting the new prospect.

"Uhh…Ms. Gemma," Kip greeted her nervously and it caused Jax to turn around, "Hey, Ma."

Gemma sat down on the unoccupied seat next to her son, "You're here late."

Jax nodded his head as he looked at his mother, "Yeah, well Delilah says I am hovering too much and she practically forced me to enjoy myself before the baby is here."

Gemma nodded her head. Delilah seemed to be going through the nesting period as the due date was rapidly approaching. Gemma actually found Delilah deep cleaning Jax's house one day and Gemma swore she never saw a house look spotless. Delilah rivaled her in cleaning. She knew Jax was not happy about the excursion Delilah put herself through by cleaning, but it seemed they figured out their living arrangement.

She knew Delilah hadn't officially moved in. Since Gemma was making a point to go over to Jax's house to see that he had everything for the baby, she wasn't shocked, but more so relieved when she found Delilah was really on top of things. Delilah's touch was felt in the house besides Gemma finding some of Delilah's personal items in the house.

"Well she does make a point," Gemma amended. She was happy her son seemed excited that his son was about to be born, but she knew he was about to be in for a rude awakening on how life altering it was going to be. She thanked the Lord that he had Delilah – besides her.

Jax simply shrugged his shoulders.

Now he was internally thankful for Delilah suggesting they take those Lamaze classes because it seemed now Delilah was experiencing the negatives of pregnancy except when she got in a damn cleaning fit. He almost lost his shit when he could not find her at his house where she said she would be and went over to Donovan's to find her deep cleaning the oven – the fucking oven.

She knew that if Donovan was there she wouldn't even have attempted to even think of doing that while no one was home, but she was nesting and it was driving him crazy. Plus she seemed on edge as she was tired of being pregnant and looked like a beach ball no matter how much he refuted. He also expected her sex drive to wane as the bigger she got she would be uncomfortable, but it seemed the other way around, but he highly suspected she was using him to induce her labor.

He wasn't about to bring that up because he wasn't about to complain about having sex – great sex at that despite being limited in positions. Hell, he couldn't wait to after Abel was born where he would really have full rein over Delilah's body. He already planned Gemma would be taking Abel for the weekend because Delilah would not be able to walk . He was just salivating at the mouth thinking about her legs wrapped around him.

However, he would miss her pregnant body. Just the thought that everyone knew that she was carrying his child made him feel smug.

He would miss seeing her stomach grow. He actually would miss those late nights or whenever Delilah was lounging near him where he would just watch and caress her stomach and watch Abel respond to his voice.

He already felt bonded with his son. He knew some stated that most men don't feel like a father until their baby was in their arms, but he already felt like a father. He was itching to hold his son especially since he knew that almost immediately afterwards they would be prepping his baby boy to fix his heart from the family flaw.

He tried to block his mind from thinking about that inevitable aspect of the birth. He knew he would need to really be there for Delilah, but he had faith, utter blind faith, in the doctors at St. Thomas well more so Delilah did since she knew most of them. So he was just trying to keep with the positive energy.

So Jax took one last sip of his beer, handed it to Half Sack to take, sat up, and gave his mom a kiss on the cheek, "I am going to head out."

"Del, at your place?" Gemma asked even though she knew the answer.

"Yep," Jax said with a smile. Since the baby shower Delilah spent the majority of her time at his house. With the occasional day at her uncle's to make sure the place was livable and he had food to eat.

Donovan didn't even make that much of a fuss and just said about damn time. Besides Don stayed at his gym. He was only home because of her and when he would watch Opie's kids. Jax knew that Don was going to keep it for when he needed to watch the baby.

"Alright, baby," Gemma said as she planted a kiss on her son's cheek and watched him leave the clubhouse.

* * *

 

As for the past few weeks when Jax arrived home from a late night, instead of finding the house to be cloaked in darkness the small lamp that arrived simultaneously with its occupant was lite low for him. Jax tossed his keys in the decorative plate while he removed his white sneakers. Jax did his usual sweep of the house to make sure nothing was amiss before he treaded back to his bedroom where another very dim light was lite for him.

Jax smiled at the sight of Delilah sleeping peacefully on the right side of his bed. He suspected she must have been feeling overheated because his duvet was down by her feet, but she had the thin flat sheet wrapped around her upper torso and her face. Delilah had to sleep with something shielding her face either the covers or pillows. Jax's smile grew wider as he unbuckled his belt and buttons of his jean and pushed them down when he saw that she was only wearing one of his SAMCRO t-shirts.

Jax pulled his hoodie and t-shirt over his head and then slide into be as he loosen the grip Delilah had on the sheets as he positioned himself behind her careful not to jostle her too much and wrapped his arms around her and nuzzled her neck as he inhaled her scent as she instinctively pressed herself closer to him.

Jax didn't know how long he was asleep for when he felt his body being nudged and his name being said. His mind was still fuzzy with sleep as his conscious tried to catch up with him and he conceded he must have been more tired than he thought. His mind finally caught up when he realized what was happening and who was nudging them. Before he could ask if something was wrong the words he hadn't been expecting for at least another week or so were uttered and his mind went into panic mood, "Jax, my water broke."

...

Forget all the preparation and tips Lamaze class had tried to train or prepare him for because it all just flew out the fucking window. Jax was in a panic as Delilah gripped his hand as another wave of contractions hit her. Jax bit back his own wince from Delilah's death grip on his hand and when she finally let go he made sure to hide him flexing his fingers making sure there were no broken bones. He wasn't sure he would be able to hold a wrench or a gun after this for at least a week.

So far they been in the hospital for four goddamn hours and the last time they checked Delilah was only dilated to five centimeters. He prayed that they wouldn't be at the hospital for the estimated 12 to 18 hours that the instructor told them.

He expected really that once her water broke every thing would be like an action movie and little Abel would just pop out, but like he said Lamaze didn't prepare him for this shit or the wait. Because even when he tried to help Delilah besides giving her his hand, the focal point they talked about, Delilah couldn't find one to distract her, she was getting irritated by the damp cloth on her forehead, and she already threatened to rip out his goddamn tongue if he tried to coach her on how to breathe. Never mind, she already and periodically had been blaming him for her current predicament. She even went as far to proclaim they were never ever having sex again. He made the mistake of smiling at her as he knew internally that she was out of her damn mind that they weren't going to have sex again and man he didn't know Delilah had such a dirty mouth.

After that he promptly left the room after the nurse suggested he should give his family that took up the whole waiting room an update when Jax was sure they probably heard Delilah ripping him a new asshole from the room.

As soon as Jax snapped out of the panic that seeped in as he realized his son was about to be born that Abel was coming. He immediately called his mom after, of course, he tried not to freak as Delilah guided him in making sure he had their delivery bags in the truck. Jax thanked the Lord he decided to put in the car seats in both the truck and Jeep as soon as they got them, but he thought his mom arrived at St. Thomas before he did and he was sure he broke a few speeding laws.

His mom made sure to call everyone from the club to inform them of what was transpiring while he made sure to call Donovan who arrived shortly after he called.

So the last time Jax went out into the lobby, since hospital protocol only allowed a certain amount of people in the room, the guys were currently taking bets on the measurements of Abel. Jax was honestly surprised that the guys were even here as it was an early Saturday morning a day after a church party.

"Jax, I want to walk around."

Jax zoned back to Delilah who clearly looked in pain and uncomfortable. Jax really wished he could take all the pain away, but this process really had him looking at mothers differently. Jax nodded his head and helped Delilah up and made sure she didn't get tangled in the wires that were monitoring their son's heartbeat. He also made sure she was properly covered up as this hospital gowns didn't do jack shit in covering anything.

Despite the scowl that was on her face. He still thought she was the most beautiful women in the world with her hair in a sloppy bun and her body just being free from the makeup and the glamour. Jax couldn't help himself but to plant a tender kiss on her forehead and lips.

"Ah, that feels nice," Delilah muttered at the feel of his lips against her skin.

"Natural pain reliever," Jax quipped.

"I just want him out, Jax," Delilah muttered as he watched her walk lightly around the room.

"I know, darlin'." Jax amended. "You want some more ice chips?"

Jax bit back his smile as Delilah sent him a hard glare his way before he raked his brain for some knowledge from the Lamaze class, "What about those birthing balls?"

"How about you have this baby for me?" Delilah countered.

"I would if I could," Jax replied automatically.

"You are so full of shit," Delilah replied with a weak smile due to the pain and exhaustion.

Jax watched Delilah walked in her little circle before she stopped abruptly and clutched her stomach, "Jax, I need to push."

So much happened at once. Jax didn't even know where to begin as he watched the flurry of activity make the delivery room even more chaotic than it was before. The medical staff were throwing terms he sure as shit didn't remember reading about in class and the breathing thing was fucking overrated. He just watched and witness the miracle of Delilah giving birth to his firstborn son. She was sweaty, exhausted, and beautiful.

She was his.

Despite the excitement around him he couldn't help but focus on Delilah as he never imagined he would be here especially with someone like her. Delilah had given him a family and his heart swelled with pride, love, and fear because he doesn't want to fuck this up. He didn't even realize he was crying as he held his son in his arms until Delilah brought her hand to his face and brushed them away, "Congratulations, Daddy." Delilah said to him with awe and satisfaction as she had tears in her own eyes.

Daddy.

Jax's heart began beating against his rib cage ferociously with him now adding father to who he was. He felt this would be his greatest accomplishment – achievement.

Jax turning towards Delilah who was watching him hold their son he bent down and planted a hard, desperate, messy, and passionate kiss against her lips. "I don't even know what to say to even describe what I am feeling." Jax whispered, "You were amazing, just thank you for giving me this."

"I love you, Jackson and our son Abel Nathanial Teller will love you just as much and even more," Delilah said with a fond smile as she lightly traced their son's face.

Jax looked up at her as she said their son's name as he thought they agreed that they would hyphenate Abel's last name. Jax brought Delilah into his body as he cradled his family in his arms.

Jax really believed sometimes you find things without ever meaning to look for them.

* * *

 


	20. Manuscript

Jax woke up to the scene he had been waking up to for the last three weeks since Abel came home from the hospital. Abel wasn't out the woods yet as the doctor's wanted to wait until he was at least 6 months old before giving him a clean bill of health. Besides the scar on his son's chest mirroring the one Gemma had you wouldn't be able to even know that something was wrong with his son who was cradled in his mother's arms as she nursed him.

They were keeping Abel in his bassinet in their room for a while as he had sleep apnea and because of the procedure on his heart, but Jax had already established that once Delilah was given the clear from her doctor they were getting the room back to themselves. He received an eye roll as a response, but watching Delilah with their son was a major turn on. It didn't help that since she was nursing her boobs were quite large.

Jax was seriously in awe of the female anatomy or he should say Delilah's anatomy.

Jax leaned up further on the bed as he spoke, his breathe fanning across her shoulder where he placed a soft kiss against it, "I hope he knows those puppies are on loan."

Delilah turned to face with an amused smile before she looked back down at Abel who was sucking greedily, "I think daddy's a little jealous."

"Jealous, no, envious, yeah," Jax corrected.

"Well good things come to those who wait," Delilah teased which made him grunt in reply.

Jax sat in silence as he watched Delilah give Abel his breakfast.

Delilah had taken to wearing her hair up more often much to his slight dismay since he loved to run his fingers through it. But since she did wear it up it gave him better access to her neck and collarbone which just led him to having blue balls.

For awhile and especially with Abel's first week home with how he was commenting to her about how desirable she was in caring for their son he could tell she was uncomfortable with her post pregnancy body.

Jax honestly didn't really care. He wasn't that shallow especially since she gave birth to their son. He wasn't going to pressure her into losing weight or change her appearance. It wasn't as if she had a ton of baby weight left, but she would lose it on her terms. He thought she needed to focus on caring for Abel anyways.

However, she had started taking walks with Abel around the neighborhood in his stroller as to start some workout routine. Jax thought it was best to remain mum on the whole weight issue altogether and only be vocal on how beautiful and sexy she was.

He thrived off the reactions as she still became flustered and her skin would turn all pink. Her having his baby didn't change any of her modesty and slight innocence.

Jax watched Delilah look down at their son in admiration as she switched breasts and Abel moved his fist and what he would categorize as satisfaction that his mom still had more to give him. Jax already surmised that his son was a greedy little thing, but he inherited it rightly from his father. One of the many traits he suspected his son may have gotten from him.

Jax knew it was still early to really begin determining who Abel would resemble the most, but as Abel got older each day, Jax could smugly say that Abel would be taking after him in the looks department besides the eyes. Jax was real happy that Abel inherited those unique green eyes his mother had. However, Jax could admit he was slightly weirded out – in a good way – when he saw Delilah's signature scowl on their son's tiny face.

One thing Jax knew he would have, but didn't know how intense it would be was the protectiveness he felt with Abel and Delilah. Delilah even commented he was somewhat of a baby hog as well, but Jax felt sometimes he had to steal his own baby especially from his mother.

Gemma had already made her schedule of when she would be watching the baby and he already felt bad for his son because knowing how hovering Gemma was as a mom, he couldn't imagine how she was going to be as a grandma.

One person though he was surprised with how taken they were with Abel was Donovan. He would always find Donovan with Abel away from the crowd and sitting in a chair just enjoying the quiet while they sat in silence. Jax really suspected that Donovan was rubbing some alcohol on his son's gums to get him as quiet as he was and Donovan wasn't really the "baby whisperer" he claimed to be.

Jax just didn't expect to fall into the role of fatherhood so easy. Sure, he was still unsure and he still had that fear that he could screw up somehow.

Here something he created depended on him for everything and if history repeated itself he hoped his son would look up to him the way he did his own father.

Jax was already thinking about the future with his son with teaching him how to ride and take care of a bike like his dad showed him. However, lately he found himself questioning if he would groom his son for the gavel like his parents did with him. Jax would respect Delilah's wishes that their son would have options, he was sure it wouldn't be easy since Jax felt this club – the club his father started – was their legacy. This was what he would pass down to his sons. Just lately the heat with the Mayans was brewing, Jax suspected he was on such a high with Abel being born that it slipped passed his notice. He made sure he kept those thoughts out of his head when he was dealing with his family. They were just settling into a groove and he didn't need club business getting them off track too soon. Besides he was still unsure of how much he would indeed tell Delilah.

"Hey."

Jax's eye snapped to Delilah's where he currently saw the whites of hers.

"You weren't even listening to me." Delilah scolded with no real venom.

Jax gave her a sheepish smile in return as she removed Abel from her nipple and repositioned him to be burped. "I'm sorry I was just admiring my gorgeous Old Lady."

"Flattery will get you no where, Teller, but as I was saying you need to head to the storage unit to put those totes I have in the guest room in there and your mom said there was some baby stuff _you_ might want for Abel in there."

Jax nodded his head and leaned over and placed a kiss on his son's head and a lingering one on Delilah's lips, "I love you."

"I love you, unconditionally," Delilah replied against his lips.

* * *

 

Jax pulled open the door to the storage and coughed at the onset of dust that hit his nostrils. Jax placed the totes of his old décor and miscellaneous items that Delilah declared he didn't need in his house in an open space on the floor.

Jax couldn't remember the last time he ever went in here as he saw various nostalgic items from his childhood on the shelves collecting dust.

Jax was shuffling through the various items of baby items all with SAMCRO emblems when a box with his dad's name on it signifying it held his dad's belonging caught his attention.

Jax grabbed the box and swiped the dust that coated it like a second skin off it as he felt a thousand emotions hit his heart. He thought it was some weird sign that he would come across some of his dad's things when he was a new father. Jax took the lid off the box to find it really filled with papers. Jax grabbed the first thing that caught his attention which was a stack of old photographs. A bittersweet smile came across his face as he sorted through the photos of his dad in the Vietnam war, various photos of John with his mom, and the early days of the club.

Jax wrapped the photos back into the rubber band and set them aside as he planned on taking them home when a thick envelope labeled " _Original 3-15-1993_ " in his dad's handwriting caught his attention. Jax opened it and pulled out a thick stack of paper with a cover page titled: _The Life and Death of Sam Crow. How The Sons of Anarchy Lost Their Way_. By John Thomas Teller.

Jax sat down on some sturdy boxes intrigued.


End file.
